What’s the second best way to end a season? Sweep the fucking Cubs, that’s how. Yeah, breaking news, the Astros aren’t making the playoffs, but if the end of this season has any bearing at all on next season, I’d wager we are in for some entertaining baseball with this team next year. But it ain’t next year folks, it is high time we kidk some Cubbie ass and send them home wailing “Wait til next year” for the gazillionth year in a row.
Casey Coleman, RHP vs Bud Norris, RHP
Coleman notched a win against the Cards in his last start, but had bad juju against the Astros in his only start against them this year. Bourn and the Big Johnson each batted 1.000 in that game, where Coleman posted a 6.0 ERA. Norris has won 7 of his last 9 and would love to get to double digit wins for the year. As he said himself, “It comes down to one.” Well, if you want that one, keep away from Starlin Castro. The young Dominican hits .667 against ya there, buddy.
Saturday, October 2, 6:05 PM CT, Minute Maid ParkCarlos Zambrano, RHP vs J.A. Happ, LHP
If I had to pick a baby bear to hate the most, it would be friggin Zambrano. This guy has to be the mother fucking epitome of all that Cubdom is about. What a friggin crybaby. Somebody change his Pampers before he goes out on the mound, we don’t want MMPUS to smell like your shit for the entire off season.
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Well, fuck Zambrano, I have tried embedding this for awhile and it just won’t. So go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tTuZir2420&feature=related and make sure you have the sound up. Way up.
Happ just makes me happy. When I look at him, I am reminded that I don’t have to hear that whiny bitch Oswalt anymore, and that is good enough for me. Plus, he has held Mr. Sorry-I-Know to .000, and that just has to make you smile.
Sunday, October 3, 1:05 PM CT, Minute Maid ParkRyan Dempster, RHP vs Wandy Rodriguez, LHP
We go from the crybaby to the trash can. The Astros hit .324 (that’s with the pitchers) against the guy and he still shows up for the game. Wandy gets the honor of sending the sCrubs back to Chicago for a long cold winter with visions of Stve Bartman dancing in their head.
Out for the season :
Cubs: Colvin, Soto, Grabow, Silva, Guzman. And probably the fuck me guy, too.
Astros: Bourn, Moehler, Arias. No surprises there. Only 3 days left people. Leave SBB alone.
Giveaways:
Friday: Trick or Treat bags, Coca Cola Value Night, Friday night fireworks and dollar hot dogs. That will fill the stadium. Why not dollar beer, people? Pam you do want AIS, right?
Saturday: One more retired Astro bobblehead. At least we lead the league in one category.
Sunday: 2010 Astros Team Poster. Bet it still has Oswalt and no Happ. No thanks. Plus, they are giving away all the extra crap that has been sitting in the storage closet, unclaimed, sorta like one great big Astros garage sale.
Weather: Gonna be a gorgeous weekend. Seriously, like 58 degrees tonight? With a high of 80 tomorrow? Holy jumped-up Jesus palomino!!
End of the line
I’ll admit I haven’t watched as much baseball this year as I have in seasons past. It hasn’t been because I was disenchanted with the team, but rather work duties increased and I have gone back for a graduate degree. Thanks for putting up with some pretty shitty attempts at previews; I hope I haven’t worn out my welcome and get to have a chance to make the rotation next year.
Oh, and…..