This guy!
So yeah, like a schlub, I managed to completely drop the ball on the fact that I drew the short straw for the Rockies 2 game series currently going on. Big whoop. Wanna fight about it? Anyway, it’s probably for the better, since I can’t really muster any hate for the Rockies. As everyone that’s ever talked about baseball with any male member of the Raup family for more than five minutes knows, a high school teammate of mine is pitching out of the Rockies pen. That makes watching the Good Guys (and Bretty Myers) play even more painful than usual, as even the rare offensive explosion from the Astros can quickly take a turn for the worse if Matty comes in and gives up some runs. So, root for the ‘Stros and root for Matty B to pitch well and the relievers after him to blow it.
Anyway, here is a down and dirty series preview for you. I can’t promise to quality, but hey, what else is new?
Minute Maid Park
Wednesday May 19, 7:05pm FSH-HD
Thursday May 20, 7:05pm FSH-HD
Projected Matchups From Astros.com
Tuesday
Greg Smith (1-2, 6.35) v. Felipe Paulino (0-6, 5.72)
Well, this game already happened, so I won’t sit here and bullshit you about anything. Go read the recap about this game. I promise it is better than anything I would’ve written about it.
Wednesday
Ubaldo Jiminez (7-1, 1.12) v. Roy Oswalt (2-5, 2.62)
Ubaldo has been a bonafide badass so far this year. He has electric stuff, and pretty much is blowing away opposing hitters. He’s already tossed a no hitter (against the Bravos), and his two “bad” outings were seven innings of two run baseball. Yikes.
But there *IS* some good news. The Good Guys actually hit Ubaldo pretty well as a team, sporting a .313 BA against him. Blummer (6-15) leads the charge, but Twinkie (4-11), Bourn (3-10), Spaz (3-10), and most impressively Feliz (3-4 with a homer and 3 RBIs) all have had some success against him. Kabong (1-7) hasn’t done much against Jiminez though, and Kepp (0-3) has really scuffled in a small number of at bats.
Roy has been pitching like an ace so far this year, but hasn’t gotten any run support at all for the cavalacade of slapdicks and freaks we call an offense so far. Maybe things will turn around…. Yeah, and maybe I’m a Chinese jet pilot.
Roy has pretty much owned the Rockies with a few minor exceptions, as indicated by the team batting average of .228 . Melvin Mora and Seth Smith both are 2 of 4 against him, but other than that, things look pretty grim for Los Rockies. Ageless Helton has hit a few homers off Roy, but nobody else has done much.
Thursday: Hot Damn! A laptop sleeve. Hey Drayton/Pam, when your product on the field is fucking terrible, usually it’s a good idea to try and bribe people to come to the ballpark with something cool. Not a fucking laptop sleeve. Wow.
Obnoxious MLB.com Injury Report Page
Astros
Arias is still out for the year.
Byrdak has a strained hammy and is out until late May.
Rockies
Taylor Buchholz shredded a ligament in his elbow, but is due back in June.
Jorge De La Rosa, Melvin Mora, and Franklin Morales all may or may not be injured. Fuck you, MLB.com, for your awful Fantasy Injury report.
Greg Reynolds had bone chips in his elbow, but is scheduled to have a few rehab starts soon.
Huston Street had a setback in his rehab from shoulder tightness in mid-May. No schedule is set for him yet.
Our Interesting Things To Look For
Hell, don’t ask me. I can’t even remember which previews I’m supposed to write.
Anyway, Go Astros! And Go Matty Belisle! Sorry again for the lateness, and I promise my next preview will be full of hate and anger and not apologies for being a dumbass.