WHAT IS MY POINT?
I’m not going to lie. As I sit down to write this it’s after midnight. I’ve had more than a few margaritas. And I’m about to watch the dvr’d game with absolutely zero knowledge as to what transpired earlier this afternoon. I’m feeling a mix of hope and a very real desire for chocolate, and I’m fine with that.
WHY DOES IT MATTER?
This is going to be the cliff’s notes version of a game that I am fast-forwarding through not because I’m lazy, but because I’m a thousand miles from sober and some of us have to work in the morning. So if you aren’t up for reading my random thoughts along with a little dab o’baseball, I would politely ask that you to fuck off.
LET’S PLAY BALL
Noscorenoscorenoscorenoscorenoscore
Someone got a hit. Who is this paulino fellow and why isn’t he in the lineup everyday? Sombitch. Why are the astros unable to get anything out of the middle of the order. That really needs to change.
I have a ridiculous amount of change in my wallet right now. Entering the beltway the other day, I handed the toll worker a fiver and she gave me back four dollars all in jingly change. I didn’t ask for that it that way and wasn’t ready for it, as is evidenced by my left wrist which is now “stove up“ (or is it “locked up”? I always confuse the two) from the 3 pounds of coinage that was plunked into my hand.
Hate. The. cubs.
Fastforwardfastforwardfastforward
How old is carlos silva?
2x…15x…go faster!
Ok, cool. The astros are ahead. Paulino must be comfortable out there. Cubs fans are horrid, horrid creatures. Or, as my kid would say: bigscusting.
I’m actually really excited about following Manzella and Johnson this season. And not at all in a restraining order way. not yet, anyway.
Uh oh. What’s going on felipe? Fuck. I wonder what the gamezone has to say about this.
There should be leftover easter candy somewhere in this house. It’s down to the final remnants, so while I long for a peanut butter cup I know all I can really hope for is a kit kat, or a mini krackle at best. Last weekend we made cookies from scratch and crushed up a couple handfuls of easter chocolates and added it to the mix. They were fucking awesome. Also – rum is always an acceptable substitute for vanilla extract.
Damn. Other Lee just put the cubs ahead by 5.
Fuckthecubsfuckthecubsfuckthecubsfuckthecubs
Ninth inning…….
And, ballgame.
WHAT DID WE LEARN?
That “take five” is not only a stupid name for a candy bar, it is a piss poor excuse for one as well. It sounds lovely when you take a look at the ingredients: milk chocolate, peanuts, caramel, pretzel and peanut butter. However, the execution of the middle three has been a disappointment. Really, it’s up to those three to provide the punch and bring things together. And to my taste, they’re not getting the job done. While the key ingredients have much potential, overall it just falls flat.
The Astros lost. Their record stinks. Roy is pitching Saturday. Goodnight and good luck.
***Batgirl had some posting issues, so JaneDoe posted this for her. Sorry its a little late.