Minute Maid Park
And the winner of this week’s Mihoba is… What? I’m not finished writing Series Previews? Ah shit.
Friday September 25, 7:05 pm
Saturday September 26, 6:05 pm
Sunday September 27 1:05 pm
Pitching Matchups From Astros.com
Friday
Matt Maloney (1-4, 5.35) v. Brian Moehler (8-10, 4.86)
A lovable movie star of the 80’s pitted against our lovable 5th starter.
Maloney is a rookie who has been up and down a few times this year for the Reds. He’s started a grand total of 6 games, and never pitched against the Astros. We all know what that means.
As a team, the Reds hit Moehler to the tune of .286 in 56 at bats. Only two current Reds have hit homers off him: Scott Rolen and… You guessed it, Willy Taveres. Brandon Phillips (4-14) and Scott Rolen (3-6) are the only two that have done signifigant damage against him.
My Prediction: Mahoney pitches a perfect game, then celebrates with Hightower and Whatever Michael Winslow’s name was in Police Academy.
Saturday
Justin Lehr (4-2, 5.30) v. Felipe Paulino (2-10, 6.06)
Okay, so figure this one out. Justin Lehr’s real name is Charles Larry Lehr. I refuse to put any effort in to this preview, so I’m not going to look up why the hell he goes by Justin when he’s got two perfectly redneck sounding names already, but if you want to find out, be my guest. In 28 at bats, the Good Guys are hitting a robust .429 off Charles Larry Doc Cousin Earl BillyJoeBob Lehr, which goes along nicely with the 5 homers he’s given up. Jeff Keppinger (3-3, 2 homers) had better be in the lineup, along with Michael Bourn (2-3) and Kaz (1-2 with a homer). Kabong and Coach Blum have the other two deep flies, but they’re not above .500 against Larry Wayne II, so screw ’em.
Man, I just don’t get how Paulino’s numbers are so terrible. I know He Who Shall Never Be Named Again jerked him around after a decent start, but man, an ERA over 6? Woof. Good news though! The Reds hit Felipe to the tune of .245 with 3 home runs in 53 at bats. Just keep Jay Bruce (3-6, 2 homers) and Laynce Nix (4-8 2b and a 3b) away from him, and things should be fine.
My prediction: Fireworks. LOTS of fireworks.
Sunday
Johnny Cueto (10-10, 4.39) v. Wandy Rodriguez (13-11, 2.97)
Cueto missed a turn in the rotation after a bout with the flu, but went 5 innings in his only start then while notching a win to even his record. Johnny 5 hasn’t had much success against Astros hitters, sporting a .344 average in 96 at bats. Twinkie (5-10, 2 homers), Bourn (4-10), Kaz (5-9, homer), Miggy (6-17), and Kabong (3-10, homer) all batter him pretty good.
Wandy is putting the bow on a pretty nice season as the Astros at least co-ace, if not actual ace. The record doesn’t indicate nearly how great he was this year. I count 8 times that he gave up 2 or less earned runs and took a ND or a loss. Ouch. The Redlegs hit a meager .212 against Wandy in 132 at bats. Joey Vatto (6-19), Jonny Gomes (3-8), and Darnell McDonald (2-5) are the only guys with any real success against the Lil’ Lefty.
Reds
Bill Bray – Tommy John surgery in May, out of the season.
Wilkin Castillo – Torn Labia, out of the season.
Aaron Haranutang – Appendix removed, out for season.
Mike Lincoln – Bulging disc in neck, out for the season.
Danny Richar – hangnail, out for the season.
Edinson Volquez – Elbow inflammation, out for season and part of next season.
Charles Dickerson – Severely sprained ankle/Writer’s Block, out for the season. Twas the best of sprains, Twas the worst of sprains.
Astros
Mike Hampton – Rotator cuff tear, both knees, hip replacement, being rebuilt in to a cyborg.
Alberto Arias – Strained Hammy. Ready to come off the DL so Mike Hampton will stop trying to point and at him while calling him a pussy and re-aggrivating his throwing arm.
Roy Oswalt – Going in for some truck-battery treatment after getting a second opinion from his Cousin Merle.
Billy Sadler – Right Shoulder Scapular Dyskinesis. I have no idea what that is, but it sounds terrifying.
Our Interesting Things To Look For
And remember, you can always read all about it in the GameZone!
