The second SnS game of the season was doomed before it started–an inadvertent boob brush here, a never seen before pitcher there, a Mets fan sitting with the Astros faithful–and despite the breast efforts by Batgirl to seal the gaping hole in the space time continuum, a 10 to 3 rout was on.
Ortiz looked udderly shitty on the mound prompting several SnSers to murmur about how 100 pitches needed to hurry up and get thrown so Coop could give him a titty twister, get him off the mound and into the showers. Not that that helped any. The bullpen provided new material for FAIL blogs: Bosom Buddy Byrdak came in a followed up a fly ball out by giving up a 3 run knocker, and neither Paronto or Wright could grab the nipples on the ball and hold the Mets scoreless. By the time DVauthrin had beat his chest and called for the homerun by Thunderpants, the game was over and a tittilating tatooed teat was doing the wave. Never before were after-game drinks more treasured. (Thanks for the nip you ol’ chap!)
Following the game, Paranto and his mammaries were optioned to AAA (will have to clear waivers) and Sampson was activated.
The series finale starts at 1:05 p.m. tomorrow with Livan Hernandez facing Brain Moehler. Read Mark’s Series Preview here.