Astros (71-66) at Cubs (85-52)
The Astros visit Wrigley for the last time this year to play the fuckin’ Cubs–who are ripe off back-to-back losses where they stranded 19 men on base. Is panic setting in for Cubfandom? Could this be the beginning of the end?
It’s been since 1989 that the Cubs entered September with the best record in the National League. They promptly choked in the NLCS to the San Francisco Giants to miss the World Series. There are already some signs that this team is wound too tight and is about to snap–when asked if he were frustrated by two losses in a row, Pinella retorted, “Why is it frustrating? Why should it be? Are we supposed to win every day? I don’t think so. Listen, if we can get guys in every time we got men on base, we’d be 162-0, and that’s not going to happen.” Getting a little snippy, are we?
The smugness of John Q. Cub Fan has been unbearable at times this season. Have we not heard enough that this is the 100 year anniversary of the last World Series win by the baby bears? Just bring up Bartman or the goat, and you can see the flicker of apocalyptic panic in their eyes. They KNOW. Just wait. It’s bound to happen.
- Monday, September 1 3:05 p.m. my20
- Tuesday, September 2 7:05 p.m. FSN
- Wednesday, September 3 7:05 p.m. FSN-HD
Roy Oswalt, RHP (12-9, 4.11) vs. Jason Marquis, RHP (9-7, 4.52) Roy lost his only start against the Cubs at Wrigley this year yielding 10 hits and 6 runs (5 earned) in 6.2 innings. Oswalt would do well to avoid pitching to Derrick Lee (who bats .326 and slugs .609) and Mark DeRosa (who bats .500 and slugs .700) against him. Currently Roy is at .500 (11-11) for his career against the Cubs, while Marquis is 9-5 versus the Astros. Marquis went 7 scoreless in his last start (it was against the Pirates). Wigginton (.474) and Berkman (.476) have enjoyed the chance to crush Marquis in the past, let’s hope they continue on this trend.
Brandon Backe, RHP (9-12, 5.42) vs. Carlos Zambrano, RHP (13-5, 3.53) Backe has put together a couple of decent games in his last two outings, but has been less than spectacular against the Cubs this year. He has lost 2 of 3 starts against them this year; 8 Cubs are hitting over .300 against him; and he has allowed 17 runs in only 16 innings. Zambrano has had a bit of a tired arm issue and delay his regular starting rotation spot on Sunday to get an extra day’s rest. Zambrano has shut down the Astros usual suspects, but a few surprises (Bourn and Newhan .333 and Backe .500) could put a kink in his day.
Randy Wolf, LHP (8-11, 4.73) vs. Ryan Dempster, RHP (15-5, 2.95) Wolf has been a pleasant surprise addition to the rotation. The Astros are 6-1 in his starts, however his track record against the Cubs has been downright disappointing (2-6). Theriot has been a thorn in his side (.400) with only 6 PAs. Of the Cubs who have more than 10 ABs against him, none are batting over .250, including the Sexy Bitch (.100). Dempster will be getting an extra day between starts (to accomodate Zambrano), and will be trying get his 16th season win which would be his career high for a season. Amazingly, Randy Wolf has the highest average (.375) of any Astro against Dempster. Blum, Castillo, Pence and Tejada all have career averages above .300, and Berkman has slugged 4 HR off of Ryan.
The Doctor is IN
Chicago–John Lieber (foot) and Angel Guzman (elbow) are expected to be activated for this series. Chad Gaudin has some lower back issues and is listed day-to-day. Chad Fox (hand) is not expected to be activated until mid-September.
Houston–Carlos Lee Kazuo Matsui and Felipe Paulino continue their World Series of Poker on the bench. Wandy (strained oblique) is not scheduled for a start this series, but is questionable for his next start September 6 against the Rockies.
Bribes to get you into the Crumbling Piece O’Shit Ballpark
Monday–Woody Woodpecker stuffed animal. Now what would be more appropriate than the cartoon character with the most irritating laugh to be given to unsuspecting Cub fans? Thousands of children will be pestering their parents, shoving the red-headed freak in their face and shreiking the abominable noise in their faces the entire game. It won’t be until after the game is over that they realize that this was the beginning of the laughter to be heard nationwide when their beloved “cubbies” began the predictable downward spiral that has plagued them for a century.
Tuesday–SOL. You get nothing. Nada.
Wednesday–Kosuke Fukudome “1” player number cap. Now is this not just egregious taunting of the BBG’s? A cap with the #1. Turn a 1 upside down and what do you get? l for LOSERS. Haha you dumbfuckers.
September Callups
It’s that time of the year to reward those Bus Riders that have finished their minor league seasons. The Cubs will add Micah Hoffpauir, Koyie Hill, Michael Wuertz and Casey McGehee from AAA Iowa. Felix Pie, who started the season with the Cubs and has earned his second chance, will probably not be called up until after the Triple-A Iowa team is out of the playoffs.
The Astros stated that they would not call up any players until after the Hooks and the Express have finished their seasons on Monday. In fact, they anticipated not many will be called up. Ed Wade doesn’t view September as a reward situation–“If there’s a particular player that we feel we need to take a good, hard look at, there’s an opportunity to do that.” How about this for an idea–Start Bourn in CF and let him bat leadoff. Give him an opportunity. Then in an amazing turn of events, Cassel and Nieve were shipped off to the windy city and will be in uniform for Monday’s game.
Fuck the Cubs
I have one particular Cub fan that has flaunted his team in my face all season. I see him at the gym several times a week and he always greets me with, “How about them Cubs?” He is the local Elementary school principal who grew up in Chicago on the Sox side of town, but has been a Cubs fan all his life. Not that this isn’t enough to make me dislike him, he also coached one of my sons in Little Dribblers basketball, and in one particular game, was yelling and putting down my son so much that he was crying while running down the court. My son was 6 years old. I, like any good mother was pissed. I mean, he wasn’t screaming at his chubby little son who couldn’t make it down the court, but because my son was his “star player” he berated him incessently this game. In a moment of loss of good judgement, I stood up in the gym and yelled across the court for him to stop yelling at my son. I may have looked like an ass, but won brownie points with my son. He never yelled at my son like that again, however has gone out of his way to rub any Cub success down my throat since then. I really can’t wait for this year’s Bartman moment to occur and shatter his hopes for this season. So, Fuck the Cubs.
Don’t forget to drop by the GameZone. And bring a 6-pack or two with you.