5 Alarm Beats Skyline Anytime

Cincinnati (50-56) at Houston (48-56)

MMPUS(FKAEFUSFKAAFUSFKABUS)

Monday, July 28 7:05 p.m. FSN-HD (maybe or maybe not in Austin)
Tuesday, July 29 7:05 p.m. FSN-HD
Wednesday, July 30 7:05 p.m. FSN-HD

Sunday’s eleven run performance was just enough to

keep John Q. Astros fan from throwing in the towel and

yelling “To (insert favorite expletive here) with this season.”

Losing sucks, but losing the way the Astros have lost recently

is just damn frustrating.

Now the second tier leaders of the NL Central come to town after

elevating the Rockies a few more feet in the rarified air.

Colorado’s sweep of the hapless chili swilling redlegs should give

hope to the Good Guys that you don’t have to be a superhero to be

invincible against the Red Messiah and his team.

Leaving July behind on a winning note is just what this team needs.

In July the team is 8-13, and even if the improbable

sweep by the home team occurs, this team will have a losing month.

Under the circumstances, it may be time for one of the most

crazed sacrifices to the BBG’s that any good Astros fan can make. Just

keep in mind that no matter which version you try—

skyline chili sucks.

Probable Pitchers

Cueto, RHP (7-9, 4.90) vs Oswalt RHP (7-8, 4.56)

Cueto has only faced the Astros once, on April 24 of this year. He went 7 innings, giving up 5 runs on 8 hits. Berkman was 2-2 with a double and a HR (3 RBI), and Pence was 2-4 with a double.

Oswalt hopes to start this game after a stint on the DL. Don’t be surprised if Bako gets the start, he sports a .417 avg versus Oswalt. Dunn is 14-57 (.246) against Roy, but 10 of those 14 hits were for extra bases. Patterson (.295) and Brandon Phillips (.313) have also had success against the Wizard.

Arroyo, RHP (9-7, 5.60) vs Moehler RHP (5-4, 4.45)

Arroyo is 5-0 with a 3.19 ERA in his last 5 starts. Loretta loves to b-slap Arroyo around–11 for 20 (.550), and there are 7 other current Astros that hit .320 or better against him. (Pence .429, Tejada .412, Newhan .400, Matsui and Erstad .333, Berkman .323, and Lee .320)

Moehler is coming off one of his worst starts of the year, where he only lasted 2 1/3 innings. Dunn (.300), Griffey (.297) and Valentin (.273) are the only current Dickities that have faced him more than 10 ABs.

Volquez, RHP (12-4, 2.77) vs Rodriguez, LHP (6-3, 3.18)

A little patience is needed for the Astros bats against Volquez as he has been having trouble with his control lately and been unable to stay ahead in the count. Only 3 current Astros have faced Volquez (Newhan, Tejada and Erstad), each have a whopping .000 average against him.

Wandy pitched a superb game in his last outing, helping to snap a 4 game losing streak. Wandy has (to put it nicely) gotten his arse kicked by the Reds over the last couple of seasons, most evident by the 9-12 (7.50) average boasted by Junior.

Injuries

Reds–Hairston (hammy) expected to return on Tuesday (29th). Burton (oblique) expected to start AAA rehab on the 29th. Merker (back) and Harang (forearm) expected out until early to mid-August. Freel (hammy), Gonzalez (knee), and Hopper (elbow) are out for the season.

Houston–If Roy does make the start tonight, that will again leave Paulino all to his lonesome on the injury list.

Promotions

Tuesday–NASA night. The Astros will be wearing a commemorative patch on their jerseys to celebrate the 50th bithday of th National Aeronautic and Space Administration. If you are one of the first 10,000 lucky fans you will recieve a cap presented by the United Space Alliance.

Other stuff

Dusty Baker discusses rabbit hunting with Jay Bruce.

Tim P provides evidence that Red’s fan are STOOPID too.

Try your luck in the GZ, sometimes its hot, sometimes its not.