Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Astros 2
Phillies 1
W: Oswalt (1-3) | L: Kendrick (1-2) | S: Brocail (1)
Andy Who Now?
AP via Yahoo!
Game Zone
Tonight we were treated to a proper pitching-and-just-enough-to-win-it ballgame straight out of my youth. The Sparky we know and love returned, and not a moment too fucking soon, while Michael Bourn put a boot shin deep where the sun don’t shine in Philly.
In the top of the first, Bourn led off with an infield single, with Utley’s rushed throw pulling Howard off the bag. After a steal, Flapjack brought him home on a sharp double off the wall in left that just missed getting out, giving Roy yet another lead to work with.
Oswalt’s first inning looked like more of the same, as three Phils reached on singles, with Howard’s line drive pushing Werth across to knot it at 1. Then in the 2nd, Roy came from behind to get Ruiz on a groundout, before handling the Chin and Kendrick with no trouble. Somewhere in the inning, the complexion of the outing started to change, with Roy getting a firm handle on his stuff, making more of the pitches we’re used to seeing him make. The curve that got Kendrick had the ‘Stros faithful pausing and raising an eyebrow, reminded of what that thing is supposed to look like when he lets it go.
Then in the bottom of the third, we saw a sequence of two at-bats that have me convinced that everything’s going to be just fine. Straight from the game notes:
Oswalt, third inning, 2 outs, Ryan Howard. 1-0, throws beautiful outside curve for strike. Vintage fastball lower outside corner, no call. Perfect curve over the middle freezes Howard, again no call. Pitches around him on 3-1 to put him on. Burrell up, dirty first pitch swinging strike, tight slider? Fouls back a heater belt-high, outside edge of plate. Fucking murders him on the big curve – Burrell is laughing before he’s done swinging. Absolutely, totally filthy. Oh shit, he might be back.
Yes, sir. Forget the walk, Roy was throwing everything he wanted and then some. That was some nasty shit. Oh… some other gems from the game notes, in case you’re wondering:
Top of the 6th… cheerleaders? WTF? Is that the Funky Chicken?
What the fuck is the Foundation for a Better Life? Sounds cult-y.
Gold, Jerry. Gold. Things cruised along from there, until Bourn stepped up in the bottom of the 5th and yoinked an inside pitch straight down the right field line, banging it halfway up the pole (there’s a joke in there somewhere, but I’m too lazy classy to find it) for a 2-1 lead. His next time up, the shithead fans booed him, presumably because he had the temerity to be traded. How fucking dare he play adequately well for another team after they got rid of him? The gall.
With the slim lead in hand, Roy continued right on dealing, his first few starts fading in the rearview. In the 6th, Phillie patrons barely had time to get up out of their seats – much less head to the concessions for a refill of miserable fucking bastards with a side of everyone hates you – as Sparky set the side down on 7 quick pitches.
After Cheito pinch hit in the top of the 8th, Wesley Willis came on for the first time in several games to work the bottom half. And work it he did, striking out 2, 3 and 4 in the order, with the punctuation K on Howard to end the inning. Rock over London, rock on Wesley. That inning really whooped the camel’s ass. (Too obscure? Not obscure enough? – Ed.)
Then, in the top of the 9th, with the Good Guys clinging to that one run lead and looking to break through, Brownie took the kid gloves off and came in high and hard with “A one run lead in this ballpark? Not exactly taking it to the bank.”
Heh. Hmm. Anyway, that pretty much killed the party, leading us into the final half-inning with the ball in the capable hands of closer… Doug Brocail? Why the hell not. Burrell went down swinging again to start it, followed by a Jenkins dribbler to second, two down. (Before this ends, lets take just a second to stare awestruck at the mammoth fucking jaw on this man. That’s not gum he’s chewing, folks – that is a wad of crumpled steel. I shit you not.) Rollins limped in to pinch hit, reaching on a liner to center just past a diving Loretta. Nothing came of it, though, as the game ended on a swinging ponche by Dobbs.
The win brings the club back to 3 games under for the first time since late yesterday, with a chance tomorrow to make it 2 series wins in a row. Backe takes the bump at noon against world-class asshole Brett Myers. See you in the GZ.