By Taras Bulba
Mets (46-37) at Astros (37-48)
Minute Maid Park
AKA “The Juice Box”
Thursday, July 5, 7:05pm-FSN
Friday, July 6, 7:05pm-FSN
Saturday, July 6, 6:05pm-FSN
Sunday, July 7, 1:05pm-FSN
The division leading Mets with three all star starters arrive in Necktown for a four game series with the Astros. Though still ahead of the Braves and Phils, the Mets are limping, having lost four in a row including being swept over the weekend by the Rockies. Beltran, Reyes, and Wright—all stars for the upcoming summer classic will be in town, along with Delgado and catcher Paul Lo Duca. Lo Duca, however, is sitting outside of Dean Wormer’s office along with Qualls, and may be suspended for part of the four game set. Just in case, the Mets called up 67 year old catcher Sandy Alomar, Jr. who has been hanging out in New Orleans lately trying to figure out what a “Zephyr” is supposed to be.
Lastings Milledge Update: nothing new here other than New Yorkers remain puzzled that flyover country has not appreciated his value in potential trade scenarios. He’s Lastings Milledge, people—c’mon.
Projected Matchups
(http://houston.astros.mlb…ble_pitchers.jsp?c_id=hou)
Thursday
John Maine, RHP (9-4, 2.74) v. Jason Jennings (1-3, 3.69)
Maine has pretty much been a hoss for the Mets this season and dominated the Phils in his last start, going 8 innings while giving up 4 hits and 1 earned run. He’s 2-0 with a 1.17 ERA in two career starts against Houston. Jennings pitched well in his last start, though lost to his old team. He seems to be steadily improving, gaining arm strength and pitching longer into his starts and appears to be over his early season elbow, shoulder, and large ass related problems.
Friday
Mike Pelfrey, RHP (0-6, 6.11) v. Wandy Rodriguez (5-7, 4.23)
Pelfrey has been sort of a band aid for the Mets, and while serviceable, has been nothing to write home about. He’ll be opposed by the Mysterious Wandy, a man capable of confusing fans, teammates, and hopefully opposing hitters which he has done remarkably well lately. Nothing unusual here—if Wandy has command, he can be quite effective. If not, crooked numbers will trip the night fantastic.
Saturday
Tom Glavine, LHP (7-6, 4.39) v. Woody Williams (4-10, 5.47)
Two old salts in an old fashioned cage match. Glavine got torched in his last start but has been fairly effective this season, helped by the strong Met lineup that backs up his rag arm and residual sniveling. Woody is somehow finding a way to pick up steam of late despite his skulking ways and suffering Berkman’s taunts that he didn’t go to Rice. Watching old men flail away has been fairly common this season—there’s usually about 14 or so similar matchups each night. In that spirit, it is regretful that Drayton didn’t sign Nolan to a one game contract just so he could dot Sammy the Clown during the Silver Boot Hodown.
Sunday
TBA v. Roy Oswalt (7-5, 3.52)
The Mets were going to start Jason Vargas but he sucked so badly in his two appearances that they shot him behind the dugout yesterday and sent a bill to his family for the cost of the bullet. Well, really he just got a bus ticket to New Orleans, but throwing there on a nice July day is probably worse. The Mets are thinking of Aaron Sele or calling up someone from the Zephyrs but they don’t know yet. Oswalt on paper appears to be having a credible season, but he just ain’t the Roy we know. The Oswalt dominance has not been seen much in quite a spell and it’s a head scratcher for those used to seeing him ring up opposing hitters. Anything to do with his effort to become a more economical pitcher? Possibly. Or, maybe it’s an arm issue we’re not privy to at this time. That being said, this appears to be a golden opportunity for Roy to go into the break with another win and make his traditional run at 20 wins during the second half.
Giveaways
(http://houston.astros.mlb…e/promotions.jsp?c_id=hou)
Show up Saturday and you get a “Retro Metal Trash Can.” That will come in handy when it comes to filing important documents around your house. Sunday is “Canon Photo Day” where your favorite Astros stand behind a protective barrier and let you snap pics of them in various unnatural poses. Note that they typically do not respond well to peanuts tossed their way and that Ensberg is prone to throwing his own feces and making obscene gestures. The boy just ain’t right.
Injury Report
(http://newyork.mets.mlb.c…eam/injuries.jsp?c_id=nym)
Moises Alou is out with a strained left quad. No word if he’s putting urine on that. Pedro Martinez has been out all year after rotator cuff surgery but has been throwing and may be back soon with an obligatory ridiculous new hair ensemble. Endy Chavez and Jorge Sosa have stained left hamstrings (how cute), Oliver Perez has back stiffness, and Duaner Sanchez is out with a fucked up first name. Lot of that going around this season.
(http://houston.astros.mlb…eam/injuries.jsp?c_id=hou)
Lidge’s oblique is better but he’s down with a gimpy knee. Some “clear” should help with that. Everett and his glove are out while he recovers from getting stampeded by El Caballo. Rick White’s neck got better but he became severely constipated due to his strict regimen of cheese and Elgin Hot Gut and Garner got tired of listening to him grunt all the time and cut him. There’s a lesson there somewhere. Backe wants to git into the fight and all but a damn ol’ Yankee run off with his horse or something. Anyway, he’s out probably for the rest of the year. Gimenez has the labia issue and is disappointed that he’s missing the swimsuit season.
For a team that has straight up stunk for the first half, Houston has been playing some fairly inspired baseball of late and it has been fun for fans and frontrunners, alike. The starting pitching has been more than adequate, the hitting has been dynamite and then it’s been hold on for dear life with the defense and bullpen, but more nights than not it’s worked out well for the good guys. Mostly though, it’s been a wonderful last ten or so days with Biggio’s ascension to 3,000+ and the summer of love surrounding the celebration of his 20 year career as a Houston Astro. We all have our own Biggio stories and our own Biggio memories and we’ve been reminded and surprised of others during this last week. What’s stuck with all of us though, is the picture of a guy who never, ever quits and never stops moving. But, the big gulp is the bittersweet realization now that this guy who we have taken for granted and to a large extent grown up with these last 20 years will probably be exiting our lives in a half season. What a player.
Other stuff:
Can someone explain the relevance of Glenn Wilson on the FSN postgame, other than he used to play major league baseball and apparently lives in the greater Houston area? Jim Deshaies he ain’t.
If I was a GM (and we’re all grateful that is not a reality) I would find a spot on my 25 man roster for Mark Loretta. He’s merely adequate on defense, but is serviceable at all of the infield positions and brings wonderful focus to the plate. I’m guessing that he also messes with Ensberg’s locker and removes stuff, etc. just to screw with his mind.
PENCE!!!
By now, everyone has weighed in on Hunter and what he brings and doesn’t bring to the Astros. For certain, it’s high drama on balls hit his way and Willie Mays he is not. But Pence does not lack enthusiasm and a willingness to work and it is apparent that Hunter digs baseball and pours his heart into the game. It’s refreshing to see someone that is genuinely having fun. There’s nothing wrong with the stoic grace of a Bagwell and Biggio plying their craft—they have stood as an example to teammates and opponents alike of how to play the game the right way. Nothing bad either with young Hunter’s obvious joy of being able to put on a big league uniform and run after baseballs. And, oh, that quick bat of his is sure fun to watch. Maybe this is not Houston’s year—lots of obvious problems with the team, but Pence sure makes things interesting. Open up a beverage or two of your choice and watch the young guy go at it.
Houston cut the Sausage King and drop kicked Randolph and burned his uniform. They brought up Albers and McLemore. Top pitching prospect Troy Patton was bumped up to Round Rock. Are the above simply practical moves or do they also point to a youth movement and beginning rebuilding process? Perhaps the next transaction that appears on the blotter will decidedly point to the organization’s intent and it will be interesting to watch what Purpura can do whatever direction they decide to travel.
I had a cookout at my house yesterday. It’s fascinating to consider how much food unannounced teenage boy visitors can put away. We’re hiring guards next year.