By Craig Elliott
Tighten your seat belts and hold on to the bar, because the mighty freight train is roaring toward Atlanta and crazy-ass Scrap Iron has the fucker floored. The Astros have raced back into contention, while St. Louis is folding like a shit-house of Cards. A beaten old deck of Cards, with only one ace and one king.
Once again it comes down to the last weekend of the season. You know the drill by now. Bust out your luckiest gear, perform your sacred rituals, and maybe even eat a sausage for the Brewers. Or drink a beer or something.
When:
Friday, September 29, 6:05 p.m. CDT ? FSN, ESPN
Saturday, September 30, 6:05 p.m. CDT ? KNWS
Sunday, October 1, 12:05 p.m. CDT ? FSN
MLB Extra Innings ? All the games will be on somewhere, even if it’s TBS. And ESPN and Fox will probably be covering some too. At least until someone clinches.
Where: Edifice of Greed
For the first time in 15 years or something, the Blandwagon won’t be going to the playoffs, but it will kind of be the same because the Astros still get to end their season. Since their fans never showed up for the first round anyway, it should be interesting to see if they show up for the season-ender. Though after the last two postseasons, I imagine the ATL would love to fuck up the Astros’ playoff run.
Unless wrasslin’s on, of course.
Projected Matchups
Roger Clemens (7-5, 2.35) v. Chuck James (10-4, 3.94)
Roger got a no-decision in his last start, but he limited the Jakes to one run and four hits in five innings. And he was pitching on three days’ rest. Clemens is 0-3 in five career appearances against the Braves, but hasn’t faced them this year. He probably had a banquet or something.
Current Braves are 19-for-81 (.235) against Roger, with five walks and 27 strikeouts. Chipper is 5-for-13 (.385) against him, with a double and a homer. Brian Jordan is 3-for-10 with a double and a homer, but Renteria is 4-for-17 and AndrUw is 4-for-15.
James is a rookie lefty who’s pitched 112 innings for the Braves this year. He recently had a string of eight starts where he didn’t give up more than two runs, but he’s dropped off lately. He has a loss and a no-decision in his last two starts. He’s never faced the Astros.
TBA v. Lance Cormier (4-5, 5.00)
Scrap Iron hasn’t announced the starter yet, but Chris Sampson would be a good guess.
Cormier began the season as a reliever but has started eight games. He is 1-0 against Houston but hasn’t faced them this year. Astro batters are a whopping 15-for-32 (.469) against him, but don’t have any homers. Biggio is 3-for-5 against him, and all three hits were doubles. Huff is 2-for-2 with a double off him, and Everett is 2-for-4.
Andy Pettitte (14-13, 4.30) v. John Smoltz (15-9, 3.58)
Andy got a win against the Pirates in his last outing. He is 5-1 against the ATL, and 1-0 this year. Current Braves are 23-for-96 (.240) against Pettitte, with a homer from Francoeur. Francoeur is 2-for-3 against Andy, and Larry Wayne is 7-for-19 (.368) with three doubles. AndrUw is 5-for-21 with two doubles. Brian Jordan is 1-for-13 against Pettitte.
Smoltz is 15-13 against Houston in 900 appearances. There’s some question about whether he’ll play this game, but the Braves are saying he’ll start if the Astros are in contention. Smoltz has only given up three runs in his last three starts, covering 23 innings. Biggio is 27-for-104 (.260) against him, with three doubles and two homers. Ausmus is 5-for-23 with a double. Berkman is 3-for-6 against him, while Huff, Lamb, and Palmeiro are all 1-for-2.
Key injuries:
Houston ? Nothing new.
Atlanta ? There’s a shitpile of Braves on the DL and I don’t want to type them all, but it includes five relievers, three starters, and a leftfielder. Injuries include four elbows, two shoulders, two hamstrings, a finger, and an appendix.
Other shit
* When Morgan Ensberg does the Green Acres bat toss and still gets an RBI, then you know the Astros are on a roll.
* Thanks for reading the previews this season, even the ones about my ass. See you next week.