By Craig Elliott
The Astros worked a split in Milwaukee, and now travel to Cincinnati for some overdue business with the Dickities. This is the last trip to Cincy this year, and the next-to-last series with the pissant Redlegs. At five games back, the Astros need to make up some ground in this series.
On the other hand, a beatdown from the Reds now would officially make us their bitch for the season. And that’s no fun in a city where they casually toss around the word “cornhole.”
The Dickities just won a series against the Pirates, and earlier in the week they lost two of three to the Co-Ards. They’ve somehow hung on to the wildcard lead, despite going 9-10 so far in August. There must be a vacuum of Suck that’s keeping the rest of the NL from reaching the Reds.
When:
Monday, August 21, 6:10 p.m. CDT – FSN
Tuesday, August 22, 6:10 p.m. CDT – FSN
Wednesday, August 23, 11:35 a.m. CDT – FSN
MLB Extra Innings – The first two games will be on the Skyline feed, and the Wednesday game will be on Fox Southwest. I strongly recommend eating BEFORE the Monday and Tuesday games, so you don’t lose your appetite with all the commercials for shitty chili.
Where: Great American Ballpark
The Reds are 33-32 at home this year, while the Astros are 25-34 on the road. The Astros also lost two of three on the last trip to Cincinnati, and are 2-7 against the Reds this season.
Projected Matchups
Andy Pettitte (11-13, 4.65) v. Bronson Arroyo (10-8, 3.45)
Pettitte went nine innings against the Cubs in his last start, and only gave up four hits and one run, but it was enough for the loss. Andy is only 1-2 against the Dickities this year, with an ERA of 9.56. He’s 3-3 against them overall.
Current Reds bat well against Pettitte, going 63-for-188 (.335) with four homers – two from Griffey and two from Aurilia. In fact, of every non-pitcher on the Cincinnati roster who’s faced Pettitte before, only Aurilia and Brandon Phillips bat less than .300. (And you can’t even count out the pitcher today, because Arroyo is 3-for-4 against Andy.) Griffey is 16-for-45 (.356), Royce Clayton is 9-for-24 (.275), Adam Dunn is 6-for-18, Ross and Valentine are both 3-for-9, and Ryan Freel is 4-for-8.
Arroyo is 3-1 against the Astros overall, and 1-1 this year. In his last start he beat the Jakes for his 10th win, which he had been chasing for 45 starts. Aubrey Huff is a blistering 11-for-19 (.579) with five doubles off Arroyo, while Lance Berkman is 7-for-17 (.412) with two homers. Biggio is 7-for-16 (.438) with a double and a homer off him, and Mike Lamb is 2-for-3.
Jason Hirsh (1-1, 6.75) v. Kyle Lohse (2-5, 5.96)
There’s a chance Oswalt may make this start, so the Astros’ pitching order could be reversed in the final two games.
Hirsh got his first big-league win against the Brewers, lasting 5+ innings and giving up three runs. Needless to say, Hirsh has never faced Cincinnati. Though one time on a bet he mixed chocolate and chili; the experiment nearly ended in tragedy when some of the mixture accidentally got in his mouth and he almost died.
Lotion came over from Minnesota at the trade deadline; he is 0-1 against the Astros. Lohse has only one appearance against Houston, which came in relief in June when he was a Twin. He lasted 0.0 innings, gave up three hits and a walk, and surrended two earned runs. Oofda. Aubrey Huff is 4-for-17 against Lohse with two doubles, while Mike Lamb is 2-for-6 with a double and a homer. Palmeiro, Everett, and Lane are all 1-for-1 against Lohse, with Palmeiro and Everett’s hits being doubles.
Roy Oswalt (9-8, 3.24) v. Chris Michalak (1-1, 5.91)
Roy is 15-1 against Cincinnati, though the single loss came earlier this year. Current Dickities are 45-for-191 (.236) against Oswalt, with two homers ? one from Freel and one from Dunn. Freel is 6-for-17 (.353) against Roy, while Jason LaRue is 8-for-25 (.320) and Todd Hollandsworth is 5-for-16 (.313). Dunn is 10-for-46 (.217), with four doubles, a triple, a homer, 11 walks, and 13 strikeouts.
Michalak is questionable for this start because he’s on bereavement leave. He’s only made two starts this year – a win at Philly and a loss against Pittsburgh. He’s a lefty who has previously spent time with Texas and Toronto. Only three current Astros have faced Michalak before. Mike Lamb is 1-for-1 with a homer off him, while Ausmus is 0-for-1. Biggio is 0-for-0 with a walk.
Key injuries:
Houston – Roy Oswalt should be able to make his start in this series. Brandon Backe is out again, and Fernando Nieve is questionable.
Cincinnati – Brandon Claussen and Kent Mercker are out for the season. Eddie Guardado, Gary Majewski, Jason Standridge, and Stifler’s Mom are out until September. Grant Balfour and Matt Belisle are on rehab assignments.
Other shit
* Vern Ruhle is back with the Reds after his cancer treatment. The Link
* Here’s the worst stat of the day. Against Reds reliever Grant Balfour, Eric Munson is 0-for-3 with 3 strikeouts. Dude, if the guy on the mound is named “Ball Four,” learn to take a pitch.
* See, this is why I should be a hitting coach. “Who’s pitching? Grant Ball-Four? Phhfffbbbtt! Taking all the way. In fact, put in Ensberg. Just hope they don’t bring in Sterling Stryk-Three, or we are totally fucked.”
* Did you know Cincinnati has its own new alternative fuel, called assohol? It’s derived from cornhole, which is cheap and abundant in the Cincinnati area. Of course, it burns like shit and pollutes the whole neighborhood, but so far no one’s noticed.