By Craig Elliott
The Astros have won eight of their last nine games, including a sweep of the dogshit Cubs. Chris Burke scored 27 runs against the Cubs, plus he also delivered Lance Berkman’s baby. The Astros head into interleague play five games behind the Jakes, and 2.5 in back of the Reds. And the Parade o’ Roger is still making its way to town.
The Royals have only won 17 games all season, they’ve lost seven of their last 10, and they’re 7-28 on the road. They do have many familiar faces in Elarton, Bako, Duckworth, and Buck. And Buddy Bell and Billy Doran on the bench. They also have the most syllables and letters of any infield, with Tony Graffanino, Mark “Eyechart” Grudzielanek, and Doug “Man-Titz” Mientkiewicz.
When:
Friday, June 16, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Saturday, June 17, 6:05 p.m. CDT – KNWS
Sunday, June 18, 1:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
MLB Extra Innings – Friday and Sunday’s games will be on Fox Southwest, and Saturday’s game will be on some Royals feed. During the Cubs series I got stuck listening to some of the games on XM, and had to hear the Cubs’ radio team. It sounded like they were letting some dumbass from the bleachers be the color announcer, but then I realized it was just Ron Santo.
Where: MMPUS
Lots of promos again this weekend, including the usual Friday fireworks. Giveaways will include trash cans, neckties, and sports bottles. After Sunday’s game fathers can walk the bases, and as usual Brad Lidge will be on hand to give out the free passes.
Projected Matchups
Scott Elarton (1-8, 5.24) v. Wandy Rodriguez (8-3, 4.48)
Wasn’t there a deal The Hun turned down a few years ago, because he didn’t want to trade Elarton for Clemens? I can’t remember the details, but it seemed real important at the time. Elarton’s having a terrible season, but he did throw out a guy at second, from way behind the plate, on a triple play. He beat the Yankees in May, but it’s his only win in 14 starts. He’s also given up 15 homers in his last nine starts.
Only three current Astros have batted against Elarton. Preston Wilson is 4-for-9, Eric Munson is 1-for-7 with a homer, and Mike Lamb is 0-for-3.
Some projections show Buchholz pitching this game, but the Astros’ website says Wandy, so that’s what I’ll go with. Wandy has never faced the Royals, but he has faced a couple of their batters. Eyechart is 1-for-5 against him, and “Ballerina” Reggie Sanders is 2-for-2 with a double and a homer.
Bobby Keppel (0-2, 3.04) v. Taylor Buchholz (3-6, 6.06)
This is Keppel’s fourth Major League start. In his first two starts, he took shutouts into the late innings. He gave up 4 ER in five+ innings in his last start against the Angels.
Buchholz has lost his last three decisions, and hasn’t won since May 21. He went eight innings against the Braves in his last start, but still got the loss. He’s never faced the Royals.
Brandon Duckworth (0-1, 3.18) v. Andy Pettitte (6-7, 5.46)
Duckworth made 26 appearances and eight starts for Houston during 2004 and 2005. He got traded from the Pirates to the Royals last week, then he took a loss against the Angels in his first start.
Duckworth is 1-1 against the Astros. Morgan Ensberg is 2-for-3 with a triple against him, and Preston Wilson is 3-for-13 with two doubles. Craig Biggio is 2-for-12 with a double, and Lance Berkman is 2-for-10.
Pettitte is 10-3 against Kansas City. He went seven innings and gave up only one earned run in his last start against the Cubs. Current Royals bat well against Andy: Tony Graffanino is 7-for-14, Man-Titz is 6-for-15 with a double and a homer, and Eyechart is 7-for-19 with a double and a homer. Reggie Sanders is also 3-for-7 with 2 homers off Pettitte.
Key injuries:
Kansas City – Steve Stemle is out for the season. Mike Sweeney, Bobby Madritsch, Mike MacDougal, and Chris Booker are all out. Zach Greinke is on a rehab assignment.
Houston – Morgan Ensberg is questionable for this series.
Other shit
Of course you heard about Phil Garner and Jim Hickey having the historic first wireless bullpen call. But what you didn’t hear was later on they also had the first text-message bullpen call:
ScrapIron3: Roys pitchin so u will b totally bored dude. u should play Tetris on ur new fone.
Hickey4U: STFU and GBTW. We’re on tv dumbass
ScrapIron3: OMFG teh Cubs suck.
Hickey4U: ur dog’s ass should pitch for teh Cubs.
ScrapIron3: u want him to get injured? Asshole.
Hickey4U: u should tell Roy to hit Barrett. I dare you.
ScrapIron3: Na. Saving Wheeler for that.
Hickey4U: Watch me talk on 2 phones at the same time . gah-gah-gah..