By Craig Elliott
A great game Sunday by Andy Pettitte leaves the Astros a game behind the second-place Reds. After a six-game losing streak, the Astros came back for a nice series win against Colorado. Ausmus is now tied for sixth in the league in hitting. (Handjob Ramirez is leading with .345). Now it’s time for the Traveling Steroid Carnival and Circle Jerk, compliments of FrankenBarry and ESPN.
The Giants just lost two of three to the Dodgers, and they’re in the cellar of the NL West. But only four game back. But no one will notice anything the Giants do until Barry hits his two fucking homers. If he hits the homers back-to-back, it might bring ESPN to its knees … if they weren’t already there.
When:
Monday, May 15, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Tuesday, May 16, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Wednesday, May 17, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
MLB Extra Innings – All three games will be on the Fox Southwest feed. And on every square inch of ESPN while Bonds is batting.
Where: MMPUS
If Garner calls for an intentional walk to Bonds and anyone boos, the person booing should get a cockpunch from Junction Jack. And a kiss on the mouth from Wandy.
Projected Matchups
Brad Hennessey (2-1, 3.08) v. Taylor Buchholz (2-2, 3.82)
Hennessey got four starts earlier this season when he was filling in for injured Noah Lowry. Now he’s filling in for sucking Matt Cain, who’s 1-5. Hennessey has allowed twice as many walks as strikeouts this season. He’s faced the Astros once in his career and got a win, and current Astros only bat .207 (6-for-29) against him. Craig Biggio is 2-for-3 with two homers against Hennessey, and Ensberg is 1-for-1 with a homer. Preston Wilson is 0-for-6, and Everett, Lamb, and Ausmus are all 0-for-3.
Buchholz is 0-1 against the Giants. Feliz, Durham, Winn, and Morris all had hits against him in the loss in April. Buchholz took a loss in his last start against the Dodgers, and had a no-decision before that.
Jamey Wright (3-3, 4.28) v. Wandy Rodriguez (5-1, 3.02)
Wright is 0-12 against Houston in 16 appearances. He’s been on five different teams in the last 10 years, including the Rukkakies twice. Current Astros are 65-for-187 (.348) against Wright, and Lance Berkman is a ridiculous 14-for-24 (.583) with four doubles, three homers, and 14 RBI.
Biggio is 12-for-38 (.316) against Wright, and Ensberg is 4-for-12. WillyT is 4-for-8, and McEwing and Everett are both 3-for-8.
Wandy killed the losing streak in his last start, giving up only 1 ER in 6+ innings against L.A. He’s never faced the Giants, and interestingly enough, the only current Giant to have ever batted against him is today’s mound opponent, Jamey Wright. Who was 1-for-4 with a strikeout.
Matt Morris (2-4, 6.20) v. Fernando Nieve (1-1, 4.85)
Morris is 10-10 against the Astros in 27 freaking appearances, and one of those wins came this April. This is his first year as a non-Jake. Current Astros have 374 AB’s against Morris, but 74 of them came from Jeff Bagwell.
Berkman is 20-for-58 (.345) with 2 homers and 9 RBI against Morris, while Mike Lamb is 6-for-17 with 3 homers. So maybe we’ll see him today. Biggio is only 17-for-70 against Morris, with 13 strikeouts.
Nieve threw two pitches against the Giants in April, after coming in for Roy in the ninth. Other than that he’s never faced the Giants. Mike Matheny and Viz are each 0-for-1 against him. Nieve has a loss and a no-decision in his last two starts, both against Colorado.
Key injuries:
San Francisco – Kelyn Acosta and Moises Alou are out until June. Reliever Brian Wilson is questionable for this series.
Houston – Burke, Backe and Bagwell. Relieve the Buzz.