By Craig Elliott
The Astros were having one steaming pile of a road trip until Wandy drove the bus home Thursday. And we’ve all seen enough Jeff Kent to last a season. But on the bright side, Brad Ausmus is second in the league in hitting.
Anyway, it’s those goddamned Rockies again. But if my handy mousepad-schedule is correct, this is the last time the Astros will have to look at the Pebbles this year.
After sweeping the Astros last weekend, the Rockies lost two of three to the Jakes, but they’re still leading the West. Todd Helton is healthy again, and Matt Holiday is leading the team in homers (10) and RBI (33). He’s also batting .481 over his last 14 games.
When:
Friday, May 12, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Saturday, May 13, 6:05 p.m. CDT – KNWS
Sunday, May 14, 1:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
MLB Extra Innings – Friday and Sunday’s games will be on the Fox Southwest broadcast. Saturday’s game will be on the Rocky Mountain version.
Where: MMPUS
The Astros are starting a nine-game homestand, and it’s about time. After the Rockies series, get ready for Barry’s Circus, followed by the Rangers. On Sunday, there’s a Mother’s Day special, where moms get to walk the bases (courtesy of Brad Lidge), and then they all get free massages. So remember to bring Mom to the game, but she may need a cold shower afterward.
Projected Matchups
Jason Jennings (2-2, 4.70) v. Fernando Nieve (1-1, 5.55)
What, this guy again already? Jennings had a complete-game shutout against the Astros last Saturday. Eric Munson is 4-for-10 against him, with a double, triple, and a homer. Biggio is 5-for-14, and Ensberg is 2-for-9 … both homers. Mike Lamb is 3-for-3.
Nieve lost to the Rockies on Sunday, giving up nine hits and 5 ER in 5+ innings. Cory Sullivan was 2-for-3 with a double against Citgo, and Ardoin, Atkins, Barmes, and Holliday were all 1-for-3. And all their hits were doubles. Helton also had a homer.
Aaron Cook (3-3, 3.51) v. Roy Oswalt (5-2, 3.62)
Cook is 2-0 against the Astros, including a win Sunday when he went eight innings and gave up 2 ER on six hits. Lance Berkman is 5-for-8 against him, and Adam Everett is 2-for-5. Jason Lane also has a homer off him.
Roy missed the Rockies last week, but he’s 5-0 against them overall. Eli Marrero is 5-for-15 against Oswalt, but he also has six strikeouts. Helton is 3-for-14 with a homer.
Jeff Francis (2-2, 3.16) v. Andy Pettitte (2-4, 5.66)
Francis has never faced the Astros. He started the season slowly but has won his last two starts, against the Reds and the Jakes. Joe McEwing is the only Astro who’s batted against Francis, and he’s 0-for-3.
Andy is 1-0 against the Rockies in two appearances. Seven current Rockies have batted against him, and they’re a combined 1-for-21, with five walks and seven strikeouts. Todd Helton and Josh Fogg are both 0-for-4 (not that we’ll see Fogg today), Marrero and Jamey Carroll are both 0-for-3, Danny Ardoin and Cory Sullivan are both 0-for-2, and Garrett Atkins is 1-for-3 with a double.
Key injuries:
Colorado – Yorvit Torealba, Ryan Shealy, and Sun-Woo Kim are all rehabbing. Josh Wilson and Chin-Hui Tsao are out until June. And Mike DeJean is out until late this month. If this DL were the United Nations, it would have a quorum.
Houston – Chris Burke is still out. Trever Miller should be back today, so someone is going to Round Rock.
Other shit
* In the same vein as Mother’s Day pink bats, for Father’s Day this year, players should be allowed to use bats with knobby scrotums hanging off the end. Like that corked bat Sammy had with the huge fucking knob on the end. Except these will have two. Knobs.
* Seriously. We can call them SluggerNutz. You know, to benefit prostate cancer research.