By Foghorn
The Basics
What: Astros/Reds 3-Game series
When: Friday, April 28th at 6:10, FSSW
Saturday, April 29th at 12:15, FSSW
Sunday, April 30th at 12:15, FSSW
Where: The Great American Shitstain. Smokestacks, shitty chili and venereal disease. What a worthless town. Queen City my ass.
I’ve told this story before but it bears repeating. I was in Dayton on business and it so happened that I could adjust my schedule to see Opening Day back in 1998. Well, parking was non-existent and I didn’t feel like walking over the bridge from Kentucky so I blew off the game, found a BW3 near the University of Cincinnati and watched the game from the bar. Or at least tried to. I ordered some wings and a margarita and none of the three bar tenders there new how to make a fucking margarita. They didn’t even have a recipe book they could use. Fucking worthless town.
The Pitching Matchups
Game 1 Roy Oswalt versus Brandon Claussen
Game 2 Andy Pettitte versus Aaron Harang
Game 3 Taylor Buchholz versus Elizardo Ramirez
Reds Update (key players and injuries)
Well, well well. If you’ve been wondering what that fouls stench in the air is, it’s the team just a ball hair below the Astros in the standings. Yep, somehow the Reds are 15-7, and could end the month of April in first place. Da horror, da horror.
I can’t believe the Reds are actually any good, so I’ll have to assume their record is just a fluke. One of those crazy things that happens every so often. Like a lunar eclipse, the creation of the platypus, or a Robin Williams movie that actually is funny (anyone going to see RV?).
Let’s see what’s going on?
Middle infield clusterfuck – ?Felipe Lopez, Brandon Phillips, Rich Aurilia, Ryan Freel. Good thing that Griffey pulled up lame so Freel can get some ABs as an Ofer. Not quite sure why Cincy is stockpiling middle infielders, I just know that Lopez is about as good of a SS as there is in the NL right now. Legit shot at 25/25 and unlike other SS’s whose bat far outweighs their glove (*cough*cough*DerekJeter), I’ve been impressed with the little I’ve seen of Lopez with the glove. Brandon Phillips has either resurrected his career or has just had the luckiest week of his life. Recall he was the hot shit Expos prospect that landed them Colon a few years back. Was a colossal dissapointment in Cleveland. Now back in the NL, he has been on fire.
Edwin Encarnacion had a sensational spring (I think the led the grapefruit league in HRs and RBIs, but I could be wrong). Got off to a slow start but has picked things up as of late. There is a ton of good young 3B in the NL right now (I won’t list Ensberg because he isn’t “young”) – Cabrera, Wright, Zimmerman and Encarnacion. Leads the team in batting, right around .290 or so.
Adam Dunn – man, when he connects the balls go a long, long way. But, as his 30 K’s would attest, he connects about as often with a baseball as a typical Chronicle writer does with logic. Walk, strikeout, HR – theres 60% of his plate appearances.
Austin Kearns – healthy. No really. As of right now, he’s healthy. And as should be no surprise, he is producing. Kearns will always be a hero to many here at OWA for his heroics down the stretch in 2004 versus the Scrubs.
Aaron Harang – 280 BAA but a nice 26/7 K/BB ratio. He owned the Astros in a game last year versus Clemens, but then again most pitchers owned the Astros last year when they were squaring off against Clemens. Does have 1 CG SHO on his resume so far this year. 3-1 with a 4.55 ERA.
Brandon Claussen – .284 BAA and a 18/7 K/BB ratio. 5 Hrs allowed in only 20 innings, and got bombed last time out versus Milwaukee (9 runs in three innings). 0-3 lifetime versus Houston.
David Weathers – apparently he is their closer. Seriously. After he choked away a game last year versus Philly I thought there was no way he’d be back closing games. Guess he’s back to trusting his stuff.
Junior Griffey – injured. On DL. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Astros Update
Another series, another series win. Astros have yet to lose a series, on the way to a league best 15-6 record. Sure as hell beats what we’ve been seeing the last couple of years.
Brad Lidge has been the topic of discussion, with the usual call-in idiots saying the Poo Holes HR has fucked up his head/confidence/attitude.
Horseshit. Pure, grade A horse shit.
I’ve yet to hear anyone explain why Lidge would be so torn up over serving up a HR to Poo Holes (gee, not like he doesn’t hit HRs very often) when the blown save in Game 5 was completely neutralized by Oswalt in Game 6. I mean, if the Red Sox has won game 7, do you think anyone would give him shit still to this day? Or if the Norwood’s wide right only meant going to OT where the Bills eventually win, would anyone remember his miss?
You know what’s likely? He’s either hurt, or not making proper adjustments to the hitters laying off that slider in the dirt, getting lazy with his mechanics, or simply in a bad stretch.
In other news, Burke is going to try to play SS while AE recovers, though I doubt we’ll see him in Saturday’s game – expect Bruntlett to man SS. Berkman, Biggio, Taveras are hot. Ensberg is ice cold. And Milo still sucks.
What’s on Foggy’s mind?
Wondering what is the proper punishment for those two fucks in Spring. Seriously, I am not sure if I’ve ever heard of anything worse. You almost hope there is more to the story than just what has come out. You want to believe two humans aren’t capable of doing that for the reasons that have been offered up. Regardless, I’d imagine that blood will eventually be flowing from their rectums like the Nile during one of the 7 plagues of Egypt.
1 Topic for TZ Discussion
NFL Draft. Here are my thoughts on a few of the big names. Let me know what you think.
Reggie Bush – don’t believe the “too small” or the “not a 25 carry back” bullshit. He’s 20 years old and is 6 foot 202 pounds. That’s about 3 inches and 30 pounds more than Warrick Dunn, who averaged about 18 carries per game.
Vince Young – his intangibles are over-rated by about 1000% but he’s still a monster on the field. His biggest obstacle to overcome is his decision making. He makes a lot of dumb plays (like most young QBs) and if he can limit those he’ll be a very good pro QB.
Jay Cutler – bust. Big time bust.
Matt Leinert – somewhere between Scott Mitchell (in his good years) and Tom Brady. He’ll be a good one.
Mario Williams – he’s not Julius Peppers, and anyone thinking he’ll be a Julius Peppers is kidding themselves.
D-brickashaw Ferguson – easily the best name in the draft. Looks more like a Chris Samuel than a Jonathan Ogden to me.
Vernon Davis – physical freak who won’t be productive in the NFL. More of an athlete than a football player.
AJ Hawk – beast. Lots of good steroids up there in C-Bus. Wouldn’t mind seeing the Texans grab his buddy Bobby Carpenter.
Michael Huff – solid, not spectacular player. If I could choose anyone from the 2005 UT defense it would be Franklin Okam or Drew Kelson. Those guys, when they are juniors/seniors, are going to be awesome.