By Craig Elliott
The Astros took two of three from the Snakes, thanks to some eye-popping offense and nice pitching from Wandy and Citgo. And while Ensberg and Berkman are totally on fire, I think some of the credit may also go to my secret-weapon Adam Everett T-shirt that I bought on Opening Day. Saturday night I just thought about wearing it, and Dude had a double and a homer. And on Sunday the Astros were behind 2-1 when I put on the shirt and went outside to work in the yard. Came back inside half an hour later and it was 8-3.
So now the Astros are on top of the division, but everyone else except Pittsburgh is within a game. And it’s April so the standings don’t matter yet anyway. Milwaukee started the season hot, but they’ve lost their last two series (to the Jakes and the fucking Mets). The Brewers just got Ben Sheets back from the DL, but he got knocked around Sunday and won’t be pitching in this series anyway.
When:
Monday, April 17, 7:05 p.m. CDT – KNWS
Tuesday, April 18, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Wednesday, April 19, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
MLB Extra Innings – Monday’s game will be on the Milwaukee feed, and Wednesday’s will be on Fox Southwest. Nothing Tuesday.
Where: MMPUS
Yvette must have gotten a sweet deal on magnetic schedules, because they’re the promo giveaway for the first two games of this series. Those things are massively useful, so if anyone scores an extra schedule, please hook me up. Otherwise I might miss a Pittsburgh series in the middle of the season, when they all start to run together.
Projected Matchups
Dave Bush (1-1, 5.54) v. Taylor Buchholz (0-1, 3.38)
This game is like a blind date, because no one on either team has ever seen the opposing pitcher before. Condom rule is in effect.
Bush came over from the Blue Jays in the Lyle Overbay deal. He started 40 games for Toronto over the past two years, amassing a 10-15 record. He’s gone 13 innings for the Brewers so far this season, and has given up nine hits and 8 ER. He lost to the Jakes in his last outing.
Buchholz is making his delayed start after rain and more rain and Backe-relief in San Francisco. He’s pitched 5+ innings so far this season, and given up 2 earned runs on five hits.
Doug Davis (0-0, 4.76) v. Roy Oswalt (2-0, 1.99)
OK, this guy we’ve seen. Davis is 3-7 in 13 appearances against the Astros. He’s had three starts and has gone 17 innings this year, but his record is still 0-0. In fact, he’s had a no-decision in 15 of his last 21 starts.
Nearly all the Astros have seen Davis before, and Lance Berkman is 10-for-27 (.370) with two doubles and two homers off him. Ausmus is 6-for-20 (.300) and Jason Lane is 4-for-12. Biggio, Lane, Ensberg, and Wilson all have homers off Davis. On the other hand, this guy owned Jeff Bagwell, who was 2-for-24 against him.
Roy is 9-6 against the Sausages in 17 appearances. Current Brewers only bat .234 against Oswalt, though Bill Hall is 9-for-23 (.391) and Geoff Jenkins is 11-for-34 (.324). Jenkins also has two homers (and 12 strikeouts) against Roy, and Rickie Weeks has one homer.
Jeff Cirillo, Chad Moeller, and Carlos Lee are a combined 6-for-42 when facing Roy.
Chris Capuano (1-2, 3.93) v. Andy Pettitte (1-2, 6.35)
Capuano is 1-3 against Houston, and 0-2 at Minute Maid. Current Astros are 23-for-79 (.291) against him. Berkman is 5-for-10 with two doubles, and Lane is 3-for-8, also with two doubles. We might see the Crimson Chin today, as Bruntlett is 4-for-6 with a double, a triple, and a homer off Cap. Mike Lamb and Brad Ausmus also have homers against Capuano.
Pettitte is staring at an ERA north of 6 right now. He’s 7-2 lifetime against Milwaukee, including wins in all four starts against the Brewers last year. Current Beer Farts are 37-for-135 (.274) against him. Jeff Cirillo has smoked Andy to the tune of 14-for-29 (.483) with a double, a triple, and two homers. Jenkins and Lee also each have a homer off Pettitte.
Key injuries:
Milwaukee – Rick Helling is out until late this month. Rookie pitcher Vince Perkins is on the DL and will probably go to AA soon. The Brewers claimed him off waivers from Toronto last week.
Houston – This is like a flashback to last season, where I just kept repeating “Brandon Backe and Jeff Bagwell are on the DL.”
Other shit
* Topic for discussion: We need a good nickname for Wandy. I see that astros.com tried a lame “Magic Wandy” joke, which doesn’t really work for me. If we’re going to go that route, we may as well name him “Hitachi” in honor of the one true Magic Wand.
* On Ensberg’s homer Sunday (which is on Astros.com), the official call went “And the Astros have opened up a can of whoop here!” Hmmm. I guess you can’t say “whoopass” on Easter, but it’s a start.
* Late in Saturday’s broadcast, the Little Rock WB affiliate wasn’t even bothering to cut away to commercials, and just left the live feed going. When he thought no one was listening, JD was cracking on Barry Bonds about announcing his latest injury. Something to the effect of “Like he expects everyone in baseball to be dismayed because he won’t be playing.”