By Craig Elliott
I’m keeping this one short because I just had PRK laser eye surgery and it takes like a week to heal. And in the meantime my vision is all blurry and hazy and my eyes twitch. Sort of like Jason Lane trying to pick up a curveball.
It’s a good thing I had a shitload of painkillers this weekend, because that’s really the only way to handle a home sweep by the goddamn fucking Reds. Four RBI from Bronson Arroyo?? Some pissant Red can become an Astro-Killer overnight? Are you F’reel?
But at least we aren’t the Chicago Cubs. What a steaming pile their season has become. It’s like Mrs. O’Leary’s Cow kicked over a giant shitbucket instead of the lantern. The Cubs did take two of three from the Jakes over the weekend, but they’re still 12+ games out in the standings, and only two ahead of the Pirates.
When:
Monday, June 5, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Tuesday, June 6, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Wednesday, June 7, 1:05 p.m. CDT – FSN, ESPN
MLB Extra Innings – All three games will be on Fox Southwest. Unless they get pre-empted by the irrelevant Rangers, which is happening a lot to me lately.
Where: MMPUS
Free T-Shirts on Wednesday. Also watch for details of the upcoming Orgy o’ Roger sales event, where everyone entering Minute Maid will be required to display at least 22 pieces of Roger flair.