So the Great American Fairweather Merchandising Tour finally barnstorms its way into Houston. Pardon me while I scratch my balls and look unimpressed. Maybe the Yankees were a great franchise at one time, but now they’re just a bunch of overpaid hucksters selling ugly shirts and caps. Yeah I know, they have so much history, so many titles, and all that New York mystique or whatever the hell. That and $50 will get you a rhinestoned pink “NY” cap from the Debbie Clemens Collection.

And of course all weekend we’ll have to see and hear insufferable NY fans at Minute Maid cheering their softball players who finally deigned to grace the hinterlands with their traveling merchandise operation. Meanwhile, all that payroll and hype has gotten them a .500 record this season and they’re only a game out of the AL East cellar.

Not that the Astros are playing any better right now. They’ve lost five straight series, all of which were against the NL Central. Now they have to try to break the string of bad luck – on Friday the 13^th. They could try a knock on wood, but the maple bat would probably shatter and lead to a double play.

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