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Revenge!

Posted on July 11, 2010 by Noe in Austin in Game Recaps

Contributed by austro
St Louis at Houston
Minute Maid Park
July 10, 2010

Astros 4 | St. Louis 1

WP: Myers (6-6) SV: Lindstrom (21) LP: Suppan (0-5)

Astros.com
GameZone

I imagine that Roy Oswalt isn’t the only pitcher people are asking about when they call Ed Wade. Brett Myers once again showed why he could be a very valuable pick-up in the right situation, putting up an 8 IP, 1 ER, 5H, 0 BB, 5 K line. That was his 18th consecutive start of 6+ innings, and it dropped his ERA to 3.41.

The Astros got things started in the 1st. Bourn flied out, but Keppinger followed with a double and Berkman walked. Lee tried to ground into a double play, but the SS was slow delivering the ball to the 2B and Lee was safe at first by a whisker. Pence walked to load the bases, and then Feliz drove in Keppinger and Lee with a single to LF. Q blooped a single on the RF line to drive in Pence and make it 3-0 for the good guys.

The 2nd inning featured a couple of nice defensive plays by the Astros. Jon Jay — playing for Rasmus, who has a tender hamstring — singled, but Q nailed him when he tried to steal second (with a nice tag by Keppinger). And Navarro got the third out on a slow hopper that he had to come in on and throw across his body. In the 3rd inning Feliz made a nice reaction stop on a hard-hit ground ball by Lopez.

In the 4th inning Pujols mashed a one-out triple off the Astros’ bullpen. Pence gave it a good try, climbing the fence to try to get it; he looked like he was there in time, but he miscalculated the spot and the ball bounced off the fence and back into RF. If Pence had bothered to hit the cutoff man they might have thrown Pujols out, but of course, that’s not part of Pence’s game. Holliday drove Pujols in with a tapper to SS to give the Cards their only run and make the score 3-1.

The Astros closed out the scoring in the bottom of the 5th inning when Jeff “You can’t throw that weak-ass shit to me, bitch!” Keppinger went deep to LF off of Suppan, making it 4-1.

And that was all that Myers needed, as he just kept mowing down the Cards. Lindstrom came on and pitched an uneventful 9th inning to wrap things up, although he walked two batters.

The series concludes Sunday afternoon at 1pm.

Kryptonite

Posted on July 10, 2010 by Noe in Austin in Game Recaps

Contributed by austro

St. Louis at Houston
Minute Maid Park
July 9, 2010

Houston 0, St Louis 8

WP: Wainwright (13-5) | LP: Norris (2-6)

Astros.com
Gamezone

This one started out as an interesting pitching matchup, since Wainwright owns the Astros and Norris has owned the Cards recently. And for 7 innings that held true, although Norris surrendered single runs in the first and the second. The Astros, ever the accommodating hosts, declined to score.

But in the 8th inning, with 2 outs, the Cards mounted a rally. Rasmus ripped a ground ball double down the 1B line. The Astros elected to IBB Pujols, which seemed to upset Norris a little bit. Whatever the reason, he wound up giving up a gigantic crank-ball to Holliday for a 5-0 Cards’ lead. That’s unlucky, because he really pitched much better than his overall line will lead people to think.

The bad news continued in the 9th. Schumaker hit a one-out single through the hole, and then Lopez hit a line drive into RF. What happened next is hard to describe. Pence hesitated a moment, then decided to come in, and then decided to dive for the ball. When I was a boy, my family used to go up to the southwestern part of Michigan to visit cousins who owned a wonderful cottage on the shores of Lake Michigan. When the wind was out of the northwest, we would get pretty good waves breaking on a sand bar about 100 yards out into the lake. My brother and I would go out there and try to catch those waves and body surf into the shore. One particularly good day he and I caught a good wave and surfed our way in. I got in first and turned back to watch him, but he was unlucky enough to get caught up in the wave as it broke just before the shore. All I saw were arms and legs flying in different directions, and I after I determined that he was ok I decided it was one of the most hilarious things I had ever seen. That’s pretty much what Pence looked like as he tried to make the catch. Naturally, he failed, and the ball went to the fence for a double, scoring Schumaker. One out and one pitcher later, Pujols came up and finished the story, clobbering a Conoco Pump shot off of Daigle to produce the final 8-0 score.

So it’s yet another shutout for the Astros, and yet another submission hold for Wainwright, who is now something like 9-1 against the Astros (we’re beginning to get the idea of what the Reds feel like when Roy takes the hill). On the other hand, Norris actually did pretty well, and there’s hope for the future. This season isn’t going anywhere, so we’ll take our encouragement where we can.

Get The BFiBrulator: Cards @ Astros Series Preview

Posted on July 9, 2010 by GreatBagwellsBeard in News, Series Previews
Bruce in Exile

Bruce in Exile

Almost everyone, at some point in their life or career, has to deal with a superior whose confidence (or arrogance) far outweighs their actual talent. But because they’re in the position of authority and beloved by people who don’t see all the dumb-ass crap that they pull. Eventually, though, the breaking point does come.

A few jobs ago, I worked with a COO named Bruce. Pencil-neck looking bastard from Corpus Christi. He turned a delightful shade of red the time that I asked if his degree from TAMU-CC was “Texas A&M Community College”. Wasn’t really trying to fuck with him, I’m just bad with acronyms. His self-assumed role as COO was to tell the owners what they wanted to hear, and keep the sales department (me) from making more money than him. He had a helluva temper, too: once tried to get me fired because I walked into his office without asking if I could come in. Ultimately, the commission-related shenanigans were too much for me to take, and I left for greener pastures. They still owe me four figures in commissions I earned but was never paid.

Bruce’s control only grew after that, I heard from my friends who stayed behind. Only problem was, the balance sheet was headed in the opposite direction. Sales were down, and profits were dwindling. By the time that they found out that he’d been skimming some revenue for himself (never trust a company where the sole accountant is hooking up with another employee), it was too late, and the company was sold for pennies on the dollar.

Fans of the St. Louis Cardinals are lauded as knowledgeable, supportive and loyal. All admirable qualities, in a vacuum. But in the Midwestern-y beige town in which they live, these qualities have betrayed them, because their club is managed by a Bruce. The natives have started to get restless, and LaRussa has even managed to pull off a PR gaffe that got him on Olbermann’s show. And still, no one even thinks that his job is in jeopardy. He has a law degree! He does ballet! He’s a genius! He’s had the same haircut for 30 years! Just astounding. Even in the corporate world, he’d be out on his ass and looking for a job at Men’s Wearhouse by now. I guarantee it.

Probables

Friday, July 9th

7:05 CST, MMPUS

Adam Wainwright (12-5, 2.24) v. Bud Norris (2-5, 5.98)

Wainwright is having another great year because Dave Duncan keep injecting him with Uncle Dave’s Special Cough Syrup or whatever.  Fortunately, the current hot had, Berkman, hits .367 with a couple of dingers against him.  Bourn and Pence have also had some success off of Wainwright, but everyone else is below the Mendoza line.

At the risk of awakening the BBG’s, I’ll just say that Bud has pitched against the Cards before.  That is all.

Loose lips sink ships, bitches

Saturday, July 10th

6:05 CST, MMPUS

Jeff Suppan (0-2, 4.19) v. Brett Myers (5-6, 3.57)

The sun rises.  The sun sets.  Birth. Life. Death.  Jeff Suppan sucks.  There are some things you can just count on.  Carlos Lee has seen Suppan more than any other MLB hitter, and yet still hasn’t solved the “For Ages 3-5” puzzle that is Suppan.  Not to worry, friends: three Astros, including Myers, have an OPS in excess of 1 against him.  Puma in particular is hitting almost .500 with 3 homers.

Myers continues to be a good acquisition by Ed Wade, one of the many that’s gone un-noticed and un-appreciated by the drooling masses.  The Cards are hitting .299 against him, led by The Man Whose Nickname Sounds Like A Dick Piercing, Sore Balls Holliday and Skip Schumacher.

 Sunday, July 11th

1:05 CST, MMPUS

Blake Hawksworth (2-5, 4.88) v. Wandy Rodriguez (6-10, 5.00)

Hawksworth, whose name recalls grabassery in the halls of Choate and whose face reminds one of Boyd Crowder on Justified, has yet to get Uncle Dave’s Okay Let’s Just Call It Inappropriate Touch of Greatness.  The Astros as a team have just 10 AB’s against him, without a hit.  So now that we’ve got that bullshit “curse of the rookie” stuff out of the way, let’s pound him like one of Alkie’s whores.

Wandy has been good of late, which means he’s either bouncing back, or due to revert to poor form.  Who the hell knows?  Anyway, he pretty well owns Pooholes, with Schumacher and Holliday the only hitters batting over .300 against him.  Mow ‘em down, Eny.

Injuries!

Astros

Alberto Arias – eaten by wolves

Geoff Blum – Episode of “What Not To Wear” gone horribly, horribly wrong. 15 Day DL

Jeff Fulchino – 15 Day DL, acute mediocrity regression

Tommy Manzella – Nursing a sore finger, trying to get Carlos to believe it isn’t a Vienna Sausage.  15 Day DL.

Brian Moehler – The Dreaded TBD. Stretched a groin, which is too unpleasant to joke about.

Felipe Paulino – 15 Day DL, rehabbing by flying to Miami and junk punching LeBron James.

Co-Ards

David Freese – 15 Day DL, Concussion after offering to show an undercover cop why they call him “Tastee Freese”

Kyle Lohse – 60 Day DL, Being Kyle Lohse

Ryan Ludwick – 15 Day DL, Lemur Molestation (which would be a good name for a punk band)

Adam Ottavino – Left shoulder strain, argued with Limey about whores degenerated…with sexy results.

Brad Penny – no change.  Ba-Dump-CHING!

Prrrrrromotions!

Friday: Retro blue cap  with a big freakin’ Methodist logo on the side.  Pass.  But hey, Fireworks!

Saturday: Mike Scott bobblehead.  For 100 lucky fans, Scott will scuff their balls.

Sunday: Webkinz Doll.  It’s a fucking dog.  (Not literally)  How in Ty Beanie Babies’ name this connects with the Astros, I’ll never know.  But your 6 year old daughter (or shut-in aunt) should be thrilled.

What To Watch For

Cliff Lee To Get Traded

Berkman’s Hot Streak

That Thing About Bud That We Agreed Not To Discuss

Talk about it in the Game Zone!

Roy, Lance smack around ‘Roots

Posted on July 9, 2010 by Ty in Tampa in Game Recaps

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Pirates 0
Astros 2

W: Oswalt | L: Ohlendorf

Astros.com
Gamezone

Roy pitched a gem when it counted. Sure, he helped the team sweep the lowly Pirates and stay safely above them at the bottom of the standings. But today’s 1-hitter counted more in the “when” column, as in “when will the trigger be pulled” on the swap that will finally give Roy what he wants and hopefully, the Astros some needed pieces looking towards the future.

McTaggart Tweet:
“Teams with scouts here watching Oswalt: Dodgers, Phillies, Rays and Mets.”

What they saw was, I suppose, vintage Oswalt. Efficient and effective, he held the Pirates hitters down with 8 Ks and just 2 BBs. A few fine defensive plays helped the cause, including a diving stab of a hot liner in the 9th by Berkman.

In fact, Twinkie did everything but sell popcorn between innings. His 1st inning pop fly found the Crawfords after about 15 seconds in the air. He did it again in the 4th, this time with a little more ‘oomph’ to top out the Astros scoring at 2.

Roy’s win leaves him 1 shy of the Astros wins record held by Joe Niekro. It was a Roy/Lance lovefest. Twinkie offered this up after the game:

“I don’t know that we need to start singing his swan song just yet with the Astros,” Berkman said. “I’d say it’s probably a longshot that he gets traded. I just feel that way. I’m not saying it won’t happen, but I don’t know that it’s a great possibility.”

Hmmmm?

Astros start the last series before the All-Star break tomorrow night as the reeling Turdinals come to town. Wainwright at Norris @ 7:05 CDT.

Astros Sign 16 Year Old Phenom

Posted on July 8, 2010 by Noe in Austin in Bus Ride

16-Year-Old Considered Among Top Latin American Prospects

HOUSTON, TX — The Houston Astros have signed 16-year-old Dominican free agent outfielder Ariel Ovando to a 2011 minor league contract, General Manager Ed Wade announced today. Terms of the contract were not disclosed. Ovando was signed by Felix Francisco, the Astros Special Assistant to the G.M./Latin American Operations. The signing is contingent upon approval by the Commissioner’s Office.

Ovando, a 6’4”, left-handed-hitting right fielder, was considered one of this year’s top July 2 prospects in Latin America. Latin players are eligible to be signed if they are 16 years old by July 2, and will attain age 17 prior to September 1 of such effective season. Ovando, who will be 17 on September 15, has signed a minor league contract for 2011. This season, he is expected to first report to the Astros Latin American complex in Boca Chica, DR, in the upcoming days and then is scheduled to participate in the Florida Instructional League in Kissimmee, FL in September.

“We’re extremely excited to get Ariel into the Astros organization,” said Wade. “Felix did a lot of work on this kid and we also were able to have some of our other evaluators scout him over the past several months. Ariel profiles as a middle of the order power hitter with excellent defensive skills. He profiles as a front line major league right fielder and should move quickly through the minor league system.”

Below are some Astros scouting reports on Ovando:

Felix Francisco, Special Asst. to the G.M./Latin American Operations: Darryl Strawberry type body. Large frame. Long arms and legs with a lot of room to fill out. Everyday right fielder with the ability to hit for average and power. Ball carries off bat. Will be an above average right fielder with an average to above-average arm. Smart kid who has a clear goal in life and is dedicated.

Clarence Johns, Eastern Regional Supervisor: 2XL frame. Long, lanky features. High waist with extra long arms and legs. Has the frame of Fred McGriff with the long arms and legs of Darryl Strawberry. Will be a middle of the order bat with 30 plus home runs and 100 RBI potential. Will drive the ball to all fields. Future strong defender with arm strength
to hold runners in check. Makes solid contact with ease. Plays the game with confidence and youthful exuberance. Very engaging personality. Reminiscent of Jason Heyward (Braves) and Dominic Brown (Phillies) as amateurs.

Bobby Heck, Assistant G.M./ Scouting Director: Impact player. Large, lean and loose frame. Broad, sloped shoulders. High, trim waist. Body similar to Carlos Delgado. Will hit 3-4 in a lineup. Advanced hitter for age. Quiet confidence with a boyish smile. Will be a big man. Easy, fast bat with hitter’s hands. Reminds me of Jason Heyward, Fred McGriff and Carlos Delgado.

Ricky Bennett, Assistant G.M./Player Development Director: Tall, athletic frame, good build with room to fill out; body type similar to Cliff Floyd. Corner OF with power to all fields. Good bat speed and plate coverage. Ball jumps off bat and has 25-30 home run type power.

Ariel Ovando

Posted on July 8, 2010 by Noe in Austin in Videos

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