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  • News (Page 192)

Friday Night Lights

Posted on June 20, 2009 by BudGirl in Game Recaps

Astros 2, Twins 5

Astros Recap
Yahoo Recap

Astros Highlights:

Well, Oswalt finally pitched a complete game. 8 innings of a complete game anyway. He gave up 5 runs on 10 hits, 4 K’s and 4 BB’s. Nice that he pitched a complete game, I really wish he could have gotten a win. I thought he did a good job.

Michael Bourn, was 0-1 with 2 walks. He got caught stealing in the 1st, not really. But what you gonna do? He also hit a sacrifice fly to score Kaz Matsui.

Lance Berkman went 0-2 with 2 walks. He was safe on his stolen base attempt.

Darrin Erstad went 2 for 2 on the night. Maybe he is getting his stroke a little bit. I hope so, he seems like a good guy.

Twins Highlights:

They hit 4 doubles, 2 by Delmon Young.

Kevin Slowey got his 10th win of the season. He had 6 K’s in his 6 innings of work. He also only allowed one run. Did just enough to let his bullpen finish it for a win.

Joe Nathan recorded his 16th save of the season and 216 of his career.

Game Analysis:

I have nothing new. The lights in the Metrodome suck. That place looks like it sucks. I bet even the Twins are ready for a new stadium. Anyone know if it has a retractable roof? If it doesn’t, it should.

I don’t understand why Miguel Tejada is batting third. Yeah, I know he’s got a good average and all, but really Cooper, why?

I am thinking that since Cooper didn’t use the bullpen tonight (not that I think he should have) he is going to use them like a kid with a couple bucks in a candy store in the next two games.

I do think the Twins look like a pretty good team. I would feel better about the Astros if they could win 2 of 3 from the Twins. If they don’t, I wouldn’t be upset if they ended up being sellers this year. Our “trash” could be someone’s treasure.

Bench Highlights:

Check out the GameZone for some kind of discussion.

Taras Bulba did the series preview. And I agree, I hate interleague play. Why do you have to change the National League because your pitchers can’t run. Freaking pansies. I bet their jock straps have ruffles on them.

I decided to share a story regarding my dad in honor of Father’s day. (I hope it is not one that I’ve shared before, if it is enjoy it again.) One I think that seems to be pretty special and sports related is this one. I was a freshman in high school I was running in a cross country district meet. After I finished 2nd (yes, I was able to run a bit back then, regionals was different) and my dad was there at the end of the finish line. I didn’t know he was going to be there, but like most of my life, he’s been there. He’s a great man. I am blessed. I hope all you dads are there for your little girls and boys. As you know, we don’t forget the things that may seem little.

Astros at Twins: Metrodome Welcomes the Travelling Horseshit Show

Posted on June 19, 2009 by Taras Bulba in News, Series Previews

Well, it’s not all that bad, really.  After all, Houston is 6-4 over their last 10 games.  It just seems that way after Millwood plowed over them in game one of the Rangers series followed by the lollygagging gagfest the next night.  But, the young ‘uns, Wright and PENCE!!! made it all better for the flight to Minneapolis with some good hustling last night.  They’ll be taking on the 34-34 Twins, two back of Detroit in their division and also 6-4 in their last ten.  They’ve got a pretty good lineup featuring stud catcher, Joe Mauer who is mashing the ball, along with all-star first baseman, Justin Morneau and outfielders, Michael Cuddyer and Delmon Young.  I’m leaving out some guys, but they’re the Twins and in the American League, so pardon the shit out of me.  Should be a good matchup–Houston is probably about on even par with them, though they’re at 30-34 and 6 games out of first. 

Pitching Matchups

Friday, 7:10pm first pitch:

Roy Oswalt (3-3, 4.37) v. Kevin Slowey, RHP (9-2,4.23)

Roy’s had some apparent tendinitis in his wrist and was given extra rest going into his last start.  Everyone seems to agree that it paid off as he had that “Old Roy” look about him in shutting down the D-Backs with both his trademark moving fastball and knee buckling curve falling for strikes.   Slowey is racking up the wins this season for the Twins.  He’s a 25 year old big ol’ boy from Conroe who struck out 10 in his last start against the Utterly Without God or Possibility of Fucking Redemption Cubs.  The Astros wanted to draft Slowey but Bud Selig prevailed upon Drayton as a personal favor to refrain from drafting someone so talented from his own backyard in the spirit of reaching out to the rest of the nation.  Bud’s a swell guy.  He’s floated the idea of a neutral series with the Cubs at Comiskey and the Grocer is thinking it over.

Saturday, 6:10pm first pitch:

Brian “The Beast” Moehler (3-4, 6.66) v. Scott Baker, RHP (4-6, 5.30)

Along with being subject to frequent shelling, a favorite of the bullpen, and a cooperative interview, Moehler’s now got that “666” mark of the beast thing going for him. 

Astros pitcher Brian Moehler shown here answering questions related to a curious mark on his upper forehead

Astros pitcher Brian Moehler shown here answering questions related to a curious mark on his upper forehead

  Good for him, he’ll need it against the Lutherans.  With the exception of his bizarre complete game against the Pirates, you can count on Brian for a solid five innings of shell shocked fielders crying, “Incoming!”(sometimes three) which also works well for a bullpen that has had its own set of challenges.    Moehler will be opposed by Louisiana native, Scott Baker who had a solid 2008 season but is off to a so-so start this year.    He threw an effective seven innings against his last start against the Hideous Puss Mongers of Chicago (NL) and has a sub-three ERA over his last three starts.  He’s another big ‘ol boy who sort of matriculated at OSU.  He’ll be importing a slew of Pi Phis from Stillwater for the game so Alkie may want to avert his eyes during the obligatory FSN crowd shots.

Sunday, 1:10pm first pitch:

Wandy “El Mysterio” Rodriguez (5-6, 3.33) v. Glen Perkins, LHP (2-3, 5.09)

Is Wandy tipping?  I thought maybe he got that problem sorted out against the Reeking Tubs of Fucking Goo Cubs but then he went out and shit all over the mound against the Rangers.  Who the fuck knows?  When he’s on he’s been as solid as anyone out there.  For certain, he’s a late bloomer but it really is time for Eny to step up and be the man.  Or, a man.  Or, at least eight innings of The Man.  He’ll be going against Glen Perkins, a more modest sized Minnesotan with above average intellect and his own uncertainties regarding personal hygiene and penis size.  He threw eight innings in his first three starts but has been wobbly since.  Another lefty/lefty matchup, especially appropriate for all of those goddamn Marxists sipping their little latte drinks in Minneapolis.

MASH Report

Minnesota:

Boof Bonser has, appropriately, a torn labia and is out for the season.  Winters are rough in Minnesota.

Pat Neshek has a torn ligament in his elbow from all the hotel room porn.  Done for the year.

Denard Span (Like Boof, that is his real name) is on the 15 day DL for an “inner-ear disorder.”  You got to be shitting me.

Houston:

Blum is on the 15 day with a strained left hamstring from too many game winning hits.

Boone is lollygagging for the year.

Brocail decided his hamstring mey need surgery after all, allowing him to miss Cooper’s bullshit and to drink beer.

Hampton is on the 15 day with a “tender groin” after the recent Astros charity gala.  On a positive note, he found a school district he likes.

Mike Hampton's date, Monique, at recent Astros charity gala

Mike Hampton's date, Monique, at recent Astros charity gala

Keppinger is day to day with back pain and a suspect glove.

Paulino has a strained groin developed while watching Hampton do his woman magic.  Do your own work, Felipe.

Valverde is physically healthy and active but still quite insane.  Mostly he thinks he’s a rabbit named, Lalo.

Astros closer, Jose Valverde in a contemplative moment

Astros closer, Jose Valverde in a contemplative moment

 

 

Giveaways

Show up Friday at the Metrodome and you get a Kent Hrbek bobblehead.  Now, that’s excitement.

Saturday, they’re giving away arguably the worst piece of shit in the history of goddamn baseball, a “Twins Cowboy Hat.”  Wear this and you’re saying to world, “Yes, I’m a straight up Gomer.” 

The hideousness that is the Twins cowboy hat

The hideousness that is the Twins cowboy hat

Other Info

Cecil the Mad forgot to congratulate Pudge on his milestone(s).  Pudge didn’t have a problem with it.  After all, he did take an enormous dump in Cooper’s travel bag between innings, so they’re all square.

Astros catcher Pudge Rodriguez walking urgently off the field

Astros catcher Pudge Rodriguez walking urgently off the field

Hunter Pence has taken up chess, probably after meeting some Rice chick and trying to come up with some idea to get into her pants.  Hey, Hunter: unless she’s one of those anarchist types, diamonds will probably work.

Astros rightfielder Hunter Pence playing chess while also working up a righteous bowel movement

Astros rightfielder Hunter Pence playing chess while also working up a righteous bowel movement

The Rangers announced some recent staff reductions amid rumors that the Astros are contemlating the same.  Astros executives are currently attending a team building retreat and were unavailable for comment.

Astros team president Pam Gardner with unidentified executive at franchise's recent team building retreat

Astros team president Pam Gardner with unidentified executive at franchise's recent team building retreat

They’re playing the US Open this week up in New York.  Well, they’re not really playing but wading through rain and water and mud.  I always look forward to the National Open due to the severity of the course set up and the pleasure of watching professional golfers suffer through it and this one could be great fun.   I’ve been playing a lot of golf myself lately, which should be obvious to anyone after reading the quality of this preview.  Mostly, I’m hacking it around but there’s some light here and there.  There’s a shithead living along the 5th hole of the course I play who has this wretched goddamn Cubs flag on his patio.  I wrote “Fuck the Cubs” on a shitty ball I found and launched it right onto his deck.  Fuck him.  He’s in for a world of torment as long as that rags hangs outside.

Sunday is Father’s Day.  I don’t speak for all fathers but I think that most of us are grateful for a small bit of acknowledgement for whatever good we have done on behalf of our families and not fucking up too much.  After that, let us lay on the couch and in the name of God, please don’t make us go to brunch.  I don’t have story to tell you about me and my dad and baseball and life and all that–I’ll spare you.  I will just tell you that playing catch with my dad remains as one of my best memories of growing up.  I won’t overly analyze it.  Just say that he was there for me and when it’s all said and done, that’s what matters.  If your old man is still around, maybe see if he’s up for it.   If you have a son or a daughter that still thinks you’re swell, they’d probably like it to see ol’ dad chase after one thrown over his head.  Have fun, everybody.

Play ball.  Astros take the series.

Astros retain dignity in boot battle

Posted on June 19, 2009 by Ty in Tampa in Game Recaps

Thursday, June 18th 2009

Astros 5
Rangers 3

W: Arias (1-0) | L: Jennings (2-2) | S: Valverde (3)

astros.com
AP via Yahoo!
Game Zone

I hate fucking interleague baseball. There’s no way I could sum up the reasons better than Andyzipp, but I wanted to make sure everyone knew I was on board with my disgust. This idea really can’t be that popular, can it? Since it fucks the balance of the season anyway, why don’t they just have it in the only place that cares about it, New York?

silverboots

The ‘Silver Boot’ (I even hate indulging in the goofiness of it) was already safely in the Rangers’ trophy case when they met tonight on Thermal Field at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington. So really, what else was there to play for? Well, for the Astros, I suspect that six straight punkings by the other team in Texas would leave a somewhat bad taste in one’s mouth heading into a tough series at the Twins.

Anticipation was high (as was the HR over/under) for Brandon Backe’s first start back from a long DL stint and he didn’t disappoint, depending on your perspective. He didn’t really look good, but then he kept the Astros in it for the 4 innings he labored. Solo dongs in the 1st and 2nd set an ominous tone but Brandon settled somewhat and turned it over to Wright at 3-0 Rangers after doing all he could to keep the wheels on in the 4th.

Defensively, the Astros combined for sloppiness AND stellar plays. Kepp’s stab and throw DP in the 3rd was awesome. Q’s throw to 3rd in the 4th was not. Guther snagged a blistering fly ball headed to the wall and was able to gun it to 1st in time for huge DP in the 5th.

spike

The Good Guys scratched one out in the 5th on a 2-out double by Estad followed by a single by Q. They got closer in the 6th with a run on a Kepp walk, Miggy single and then a sneaky single into right by Lee. A Berkman walk loaded them up with no outs for PENCE!!! No dice, K. Kaz up next and Taylor Teagarden had a whiff of his own, letting a pitch sail right past his glove to the backstop, scoring Miggy. That’s all they could do for that threat but it was a whole new ballgame.

Wright did an excellent job holding back the Rangers for 2.2, he had a huge K of Davis, the last batter he faced, with a runner on 2nd and 1 out. Arias then came in and K’d Teagarden for his only work.

doc

Top 8, Beaker senses there’s some actual drama to be had from this god-forsaken match up and takes matters into his own hands. The hometown boy delivered a textbook Arlington fly ball to deep center that landed on the grassy knoll. Go, Arlington Boy, GO! That ended up being all the Astros needed on this night, despite the insurance run on a SWEET triple by Bourn later in the inning.

Papa Grande’s first save opportunity since returning from the DL was interesting. A leadoff single, but then a ground out FC, a steal of 2nd, then a K. Next batter, PH AndrUw Jones laced a liner into RF. PENCE!!! says, “I ain’t done dazzlin’!” and dives for the catch and the win!

Fucking good thing this interleague shit is over. What? Eh? Oh.

Giveaway day in Arlington

Posted on June 18, 2009 by MusicMan in Game Recaps

Astros at Rangers,
6/17/09
Rangers 5, Astros 4
W: Wilson (4-3),
L:
Fulchino (2-2)
HR: (takes deep breath…) Lee, Pence, Cruz, and Saltalamacchia
Box Score
McTaggart’s recap

The Houston Astros decided to play Little League baseball in a Little League park last night. I don’t say this too, often, but I agree with Coop:

“Just no offensive execution when we needed it,” Cooper said. “That’s really unacceptable. We’ve been playing pretty good baseball, but that’s unacceptable. We kicked the ball around and threw it around, and that’s unacceptable. I don’t care how well we’ve been playing. That game is not a game we should be playing like that.

What went wrong?

  • Jason Michaels – I signing I really liked, but who has had just a miserable season – lost a ball in the sun in the first for a pop-fly double to Kinsler;
  • Pudge then threw the ball away as Kinsler stole third, allowing the tying run;
  • Miggy was able to ground into 2 DP’s, one because he slipped getting out of the box;
  • The Rangers took the lead on an Omar Vizquel single, another E2 and a nice hustle play by Vizquel to make third, and a sac fly;
  • Michaels looking nothing like a MLB hitter when fanning on 3 pitches with 2nd and 3rd and one out;
  • Bourn failing to bunt a leadoff runner over in the 9th, then being gunned down on an absolutely perfect throw by Saltalamacchia;
  • Keppinger’s ole bullshit leading off the bottom of the 10th, leading to the winning run;
  • Michaels and Bourn nearly colliding on a routine pop up barely past the SS with the OF and IF pulled in in the 10th.

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

Well, Bourn continues to look like a leadoff man, manufacturing the first run all by his lonesome. The Astros are apparently done Searching for Bobby Fischer, and he loves hitting in Arlington. But then again, who doesn’t? Ortiz, regardless of the 4 R allowed, actually pitched very well and deserved a better fate. And yes, congratulations to Pudge for squatting more often than any other player, ever. Also, congrats to Vizquel, who set the record for hits by a Venezuelan player, passing the great Luis Aparicio.

Other observations:

  • Whatever name it goes by, that stadium is a joke. All 4 home runs were of the “get it up into the jet stream, let it just clear the fence” variety.
  • Fox decided to swap PBP guys for an inning. I think Lewin tried to show how much he had researched the Astros, talking up David Murphy and Matt Purke as local boys (and correctly placing Klein High in Spring, no less) and comparing Nelson Cruz to Richard Hidalgo, but honestly, my ears were bleeding too much to make sense of it.
  • Kabong is hurtin’ for certain. He took approximately 2 hours to round the bases on his HR, and was noticeably limping.
  • The Rangers somehow make red, white, and blue look hideous. I have neer before seen this accomplished. Exhibit A: the blue catcher’s gear against the red unis.

Rangers get the sweep, again, as Brandon Backe “pitches” for the Astros in the closer.

Big Hair and Silver Boots

Posted on June 16, 2009 by BudGirl in Game Recaps

Astros 1, Rangers 6
Astros lose the battle for the Silver Boot.
W: Kevin Millwood, L: Wandy Rodriguez

Astros Recap
Yahoo Recap

Astros highlights:

Congrats to Ivan Rodriguez for his record catching game. Hopefully tomorrow you will get a win for your record breaking game. And may you hit a homerun in that one also.

I’m glad Michael Bourn is still batting lead-off. He has been doing a good job at that role. Minus the “stolen base” attempt in the first, he does what I want out of a lead off hitter.

Alberto Arias did a good job in relief going 3 innings of scoreless baseball. That, young man, is an excellent way to help your team. Tim Byrdak pitched the 8th without giving up any runs.

Rangers highlights:

Ian Kinsler hit two homeruns off of Wandy in the first inning then in the second inning, got a walk for his third plate appearance. Wandy might want to consider just tossing a softball pitch at him so he doesn’t have to waste a good pitch on him and limit the damage to one base the next time he pitches to him. Ian went 3 for 4 on the night. I hope Russ Ortiz and Mike Hampton keep him off the bases.

Kevin Millwood was the Cy Young pitcher this game. Seems like the first pitcher the Astros face in a series is good enough to win the Cy Young that game. He only gave up 4 hits in 7 innings of work. Of course, the Astros helped him a bit.

Game Analysis:

I have to say that the Astros offensively did not look ready to play this game. I do not think the best defense was out there. Nothing against Darrin Erstad, but when was the last time he started a game? Glad he’s getting the work. Kaz Matsui looked rusty also.

I am also going on the record saying Wandy Rodriguez is not an Ace. This team doesn’t really have one. Every pitcher has to deal with umpires that don’t necessarily make the calls you want or deserve. You have to pitch through it. Hopefully he does better in his next start.

Hunter Pence hopefully does a better job showing off for his peeps than he did in this game. I’m assuming that his peeps were there since he is from Arlington, Texas.

It is hotter than Hades in the Arlington area. Apparently there is nothing to do during the day. Boot be dammed. Maybe I could blame the heat, or the day off, or even the pressure of winning the Silver Boot for Drayton, as a reason for this team losing but I will not. I have not exactly made it a secret that I do not have a lot of faith that this team will do their second half magic as they have for the past 5 years. I’ll even go out on a limb and say the Astros get swept this series. They’ve been doing good for the past 5 series, but they just haven’t really shown me anything making them seem like they are turning a corner.

Bench Tidbits:

You want to know the best way to watch this game? Go work out after work. Run a couple errands, change the shoe strings in your tennis shoes, cook dinner, take a shower. Then sit down and watch the game in fast forward. Any special moments needed to pay attention were highlighted in the Gamezone.

Check out Jane Doe’s Series Preview. She’ll sing for you.

Pudge goes ‘home’ to set record

Posted on June 16, 2009 by OregonStrosFan in TRWD

special-report

Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez is set to tie the all-time catching record tonight in Arlington.  The Dallas Morning News and Houston Chronicle both have decent articles on Pudge’s career and his approach at Calton Fisk’s record of 2,226 games caught.

__________

Levine writes about the progress of Chris Johnson at Round Rock.  (link)

__________

Pinwheel has a bad case of man-love for Hunter Pence.  (link)

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