The 16-19 Phillies (last place, NL East) play host to the 15-19 Astros (4th place, NL Central; last place, AL West) for a two-game series.
I’m a Piranha!
I’m a Pixar fanboi. I’ve loved almost every movie they’ve put out (looking at you, Cars 2), and I can say without embarrassment that Finding Nemo ranks as one of my favorite movies of all time. It’s beautifully animated, a great father-son story, has superb music and is side-splitting funny if you let yourself get into it. There are at least two choke-back-tears moments for me. I loved it before I had kids, and I’m ecstatic that they like it, too.
The problem is, I don’t want to watch it Every. Fucking. Day. But I do (or at least 30 minutes of it before the kids’ bedtimes) because they ask politely. I now know every line, every scene, every joke. I know what’s going on without watching or paying attention. And it’s creeping into other areas of my life.
Which is why I can’t stand behind Altuve’s new nickname. Every time I read or hear “Piranha,” I think of this:
Find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place.
The Altuve? Fine. Mr. The Altuve? Sure. But please, for my sanity, anything but, “I’m a pi-ra-nha. I live in da Am-a-zon.” Because once we go down that road, Mills becomes Marlin. Wandy is Dory. Happ is Sharkbait. Carlos is Mount Wannahockaloogie.
Projected Starters:
Monday: Harrell (2-2, 4.58) vs. Blanton (3-3, 3.24)
Tuesday: TBD (Probably Lyles) vs. Lee (0-1, 2.17)
One of these things is not like the others.
Youthful Indiscretion
I had two best friends growing up. The three of us did everything together – baseball, basketball, movies, music, whatever we could come up with. When I was 10, my parents built a garage apartment, and like any good son, I quickly commandeered it for my own purposes. That’s where we’d meet. A carpeted, air-conditioned tree-house with Nintendo and a foosball table. I know, first world problems.
Anyway, we made up games all the time, just being goofy 10-year-olds. Our favorite was one called the “Sleeping Bag Game,” which in retrospect sounds a lot dirtier than we intended. Basically, we’d put really loud music on and climb head-first into separate sleeping bags. We’d then wander around the room and beat the shit out of whatever we came in contact with. It never got too rough because our movements were restricted by the bags. There were a few bumps and bruises, but we were 10, so those were shown off as battle scars.
I remember one night in particular. We’d been scrambling around for a bit and one of my friends called “time,” after which everybody normally stops what they’re doing and crawls out of the sleeping bag to catch some air. Well, the other guy didn’t hear the timeout, so the two of us watched hilariously while he fumbled about. We’d make noises across the room and quickly move out of the way to avoid his advances. Finally, we were getting ready to tell him the joke, when he heard something by the door. He ran as fast as he could, tripped, and tumbled down the stairs – a purple, satin-finished blob with Nikes sticking out one end and curses coming out the other, quickly moving in one general direction.
For some reason, thinking of Hunter Pence in the Phillies outfield reminded me of this.
Injuries
Astros –
Escalona’s out for the year.
Weiland has a shoulder infection and’ll be back after the AS Break.
Phillies –
De Fratus
Herndon
Howard
Martinez
LaYnce Nix
Stutes
Thome
Utley
Which is why they’re in last place.
Promotions
Monday:
Teva Respiratory Asthma Awareness Night
Phillies Liberty Bell Cap (not half-bad)
Tuesday:
Fans 55 and older get to “stroll the bases.” After which Teva’s Respiratory Asthma Awareness Night proves its worth.
What to Watch For:
Cliff Lee is good.
The Cocker Spaniel in RF.
Also, the Astros.