HOUSTON 6, Pittsburgh 4
July 16, 2011
MMPUS
WP: Escalona (2-1, 2.60)
LP: Veras (2-3, 3.02)
HOUSTON (SnS) – The slumping Houston Astros staged an unlikely comeback after blowing an early lead here Saturday night, and topped the Pittsburgh Pirates, 6-4, before a reported crowd of 35,000 (which is a fucking joke, by the way.) In a game where both starting pitchers, Paul Maholm for the Pirates and Bud Norris for the Astros, struggled from the get-go, it was a testament to the lack of prowess of both team’s offenses that it was a relatively low-scoring affair, anyway.
Happy days are here again
The time is right for making friends
Let’s get together, how about a quarter to ten?
Come tomorrow, let’s all do it again
The Astros staked Norris to a three-run lead early, highlighted by a Jeff Keppinger line-drive home run to left in the bottom of the third. Norris got through the first few innings getting Pirates out but running up his pitch count. Still, he hung onto a 3-0 lead into the fifth, when he gave up a solo HR to Neil Walker. He gave up two more solo shots in the sixth, to Lyle Overbay and Brandon Wood starting off the inning. He never made it to the end of the sixth. A double and a couple more singles later, and the Astros were behind, 4-3.
The Pirates lifted Maholm after the fifth, and went to their normally reliable bullpen. Those guys held the line until the bottom of the eighth, when the Astros exploded – a relative term – for three runs, stitching together some bleeding hits with a Pirate error or two. Now up 6-4 going into the ninth, Astros manager Brad Mills brought in Mark Melancon, who he apparently had forgot about since misusing him three weeks ago in a game against the Marlins. Melancon, who had pitched three innings all this month, is apparently immune to his manager’s inability to manage a pitching staff, and pitched a flawless ninth for the save.
Boys will be boys, better let them have their toys
Girls will be girls, cute pony tails and curls
Must put an end to this stress and strife
I think I want to live the sporting life
None of it matters, of course. I am glad for the win and all, but within a couple of weeks from now, whatever major league talent is left on this club will likely be stripped from it and given traded away, and the Astros will be left with nothing but has-beens and never-wases; which is actually not all that far from where they are now.
Rumor has it that it’s getting late
Time marches on . . . just can’t wait
The clock keeps turning, why hesitate?
You silly fool, you can’t change your fate
Pardon me for my cynicism, and the lack of enthusiasm and/or effort put into this summary. Hopefully soon, McLane will sell the fucking team, already; presumably Mills, et al, will soon after get their walking papers; and after that hopefully some plan will emerge from somewhere about what to do with this franchise before it sinks so low that it cannot reasonably recover, leaving Houston fans looking at something like 18-straight seasons of losing, hapless baseball, like the Pirates are just emerging from. I think we are closer to that scenario than some may realize. Major League baseball is mostly treacherous fucking waters, and you can’t just walk out of the fucking wheelhouse en masse and let the ship go where it might, goddamnit. The reefs and rocks and shallows are everywhere, and I am guessing the Astros Valdez is due to encounter one or more of them before it is all said and done. It’ll be left to those still hanging in with this team to clean up the resultant mess.
Thanks a lot McLane, you motherfucker.
Check back with me if and when the Astros are acting like they give a fuck and are actually trying to build a winning franchise again. That is when I’ll give a fuck and try to write a decent goddamn recap.
Let’s cut a rug, a little jive and jitterbug
We want the best, we won’t settle for less
Don’t be a drag, participate
Clams on the half shell and roller-skates
Roller-skates
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