When it first debuted, I was a huge fan of the show 30 Rock. Great cast, great writing, great chemistry between the leads. Somewhere along the line, it started to get a bit lazy, though. It still has the ability to absolutely nail jokes here and there, but it’s not razor-sharp like it used to be. (Trust me, this is going somewhere.)
One huge reason for this decline is the almost sadistic way that the ostensible lead character, Liz Lemon, is treated. The girl never gets a break any more, and it’s getting to be unfunny and cruel. But the real issue, and one that other shows (the Love Boat being the chief example) have fallen prey to, is an over-reliance on guest stars. It’s great that Matt Damon, Julianne Moore and Salma Hayek’s Rack are willing to take time to do some network tv, in spite of their busy schedules, but you never expect them to appear in multiple episodes, thereby robbing their appearances of any emotional depth. You don’t expect Jack Donnaghy to really stay with Moore’s character, because that would require her to take the gig full time.
That’s kind of how I feel watching the Astros at this point in the season. There are a lot of guest stars, and it’s hard to get enthused about them when you know that their time is short. I’m not talking about Wallace and Melancon and St. Angel Sanchez as much as Nelson Figueroa and Anderson Fernandez; these guys are only around to provide trivia answers for Wild Dog. But if the overarching theme of this season is transition and turnover, these kind of temps are of course necessary. I’m just looking forward to next spring so that we can start arguing about the 5th outfielder again.
Monday, August 23rd, 6:05 CT
Horrible Fanbase Park
Brett Myers (8-7, 3.11) v. Joe Blanton (5-6, 5.54)
Myers makes his return to The City of Misleading City Nicknames to face his old teammates. As such, none of them have really faced him, except some blowjob named Brian Schneider. And I literally just now heard of him.
Blanton’s having an off year, so it’s prime time to beat up on him. Fortunately, the erstwhile heart of the lineup (Pence and Lee) are both hitting more than .400 off him, including a dinger for Gunther.
Tuesday, August 24th, 6:05 CT
Projectile Vomit Stadium
Bud Norris (6-7, 5.23) v. Cole Hamels (7-10, 3.51)
Studly Budly is turning in a fine second half, and looks to keep up the momentum against a team that, unlike the 14K Pirates, spends revenue on payroll. Jimmy Rollins, Raul Ibanez, and Chase Utley all hit him well, but it’s fully possible that they could all get hurt simultaneously before the 4th inning. So there’s that.
Hamels ain’t exactly an ace like he was expected to be, but he’s still pretty strong, even in a down season. Also, his BR page is sponsored by the Hoo Haa Blog, and the quote is “Keep pounding the outside corner.” Um, yeah. He’s dominated the Astros in the past, but Bourn’s .333 BA against might be a good place to start a recovery at the plate for the slumping SBB.
Wednesday, August 25th, 6:05 CT
J.A. Happ (2-2, 4.62) v. Roy Halladay (12-6, 2.16)
The Roy we didn’t want to face against the kiddo we got back for him. Naturally, Happ hasn’t faced the Fightin’s any more than Myers has. Halladay has faced Carlos 25 times, and Caballo punished him with a 1.099 OPS and three homers for his trouble.
Also, I’m still getting used to calling Happ “Jay”. My brain still wants me to drag out the “A” sound as some sort of nod to his second initial. Jaaaaaay.
Thursday, August 26th, 12:05 CT
Wandy Rodriguez (9-12, 4.00) v. Kyle Kendrick (8-6, 4.58)
Wandy is in fine late season form, as usual. He’s facing a lineup that hits him well historically. Brian Fucking Schneider is .571 against him. Really. Rollins and Werth hit him well, too.
Kendrick hasn’t faced many current Astros (who has?), but Bourn hits him remarkably well, a Schneiderian .571 in fact. Anderson Fernandez has even hit a dinger off of him, so that’s hopeful, right?
Phillies:
Jamie Moyer: OLD JOKE OLD JOKE OLD JOKE OLD JOKE. There, that should do it.
Astros:
Alberto Arias: Contemplating becoming a costumed vigilante. Mostly because he already has an alliterative name.
Geoff Blum: aching neck, day to day
Jeff Keppinger: Making the 15-Day DL his double bitch.
Matt Lindstrom: 15-Day DL with a case of the Lidge’s.
Brian Moehler: Most horrific groin this side of Paris Hilton.
Felipe Paulino: Rotator cuff healing, about to tag-team slap his knee, preventing him from ever coming off the DL.
What To Watch For:
Fuck You, Too: The Return of Myers and Happ