If you ignore the Pirates, and why wouldn’t you as they have been mathematically eliminated from major league baseball, the Mets and the Astros sport the two most anaemic offenses in the National League. Between them they are last and second-to-last in batting average, runs scored, hits, RBI, on-base percentage and slugging. That stinks worse than…New Jersey!
But that doesn’t tell the whole story. Since the All-Star Break, which conveniently coincided with the installation of Glarin’ Jeff Bagwell as the Astros’ hitting coach, these two teams have enjoyed very different fortunes. The Astros have had something of a revolution, and are near the top in the majors in most offensive categories except nose hair (that all being cleaned up in advance of the WAGS Gala). In the NL, they are second only to STL in average, second only to the hilarious Cubs in runs scored, and 4th behind the Jakes, Phils and Brewers in OBP. You will notice that slugging goes unmentioned in that list, and well it should. This team has been stringing together hits, to good effect, but very few are of the extra-base variety.
It remains to be seen how much of this turnaround is due to the hitting coach, and how much due to the changes in player personnel. As these things often are, I suspect is a bit of both. I’m sure that Bagwell is instilling a better understanding of situational hitting and, as Lee remains the only legitimate slugger in the team (because Pence isn’t a legitimate anything), these guys better get a walk or a hit because failure to do so will result in a glare that SPF500 couldn’t deflect.
The Mets, meanwhile, post-ASB, are dead last in average, runs, hits and OBP amongst all major league teams and even the Pirates. Only the Mariners soggy bats save them from a clean sweep including slugging. Yet they are 1 game under .500 compared to the Astros’ sad tally of 14 games under. How can this be? Du-uh…pitching. They have a team ERA of 3.70 compared to Houston’s 4.38. That may not look like a big difference, but they score an average of 4 runs a game which is +0.30 runs, while the Astros score an average 4 runs a game for -0.38.
The good news for this week is that these teams are moving in very different directions.
Minute Maid Park
Monday, August 16, 7:05pm CDT, FS-H HD & MLB.TV
Rinse and repeat Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday
Yes folks, the dreaded wraparound series.
Probable Pitching Match-Ups
Monday: Jon Niese (7-5, 3.50) vs. Wandy Rodriguez (9-11, 4.18)
Right out of the gate, we get the poster match-up for these two teams. A bit of lefty-on-lefty action to boot (NTTAWWT). These two pitchers’ seasons records mirror their teams’, not just overall, but in current performance. Niese is 0-1 over his last 3 starts with an ERA creeping up towards 4. On the Mets, that’ll mean you’re going to get an ND at best. Lifetime against Houston he’s 1-0, 1.29, but that was against last month’s Astros, not this month’s, against whom he has very little experience.
Conversely, Rodriguez has been much improved of late. His last 3 starts are a very creditable 1-0, 0.83 [insert obligatory Pirates caveat here]. However, looking further back, Wandy’s record is a very impressive 6-1, 1.79 over his last 9 starts. That can’t all have been against the Pirates (but I’m not going to risk looking it up). He’s 2-2, 3.68 lifetime against the Mets, which is interesting considering that they all smoke him with alarming regularity.
Tuesday: Johan Santana (10-6, 2.89) vs. Nelson Figueroa (1-0, 3.18)
Sanatana’s no fool. To get a win on this club, you have to blank the opposition, and then tighten up the ol’ Depenz while watching the pen close it out. He got knocked around a bit by ATL and STL recently, but otherwise he’s been miserly with the runs and is currently on a 16+ inning scoreless streak. He’s 2-1 lifetime against the Astros. Bourn hits him well and Sanchez kills him (natch), so there should be plenty of traffic for Pence, Lee and Feliz who are…fuck.
Nelson’s last name, despite being 8 letters long, is worth fuck-all in Scrabble. But that’s not important. Spot-starting for the first time for his new team, he’s not a complete stranger to the role, being 11-24, 4.39. I said he’s not a stranger to it, I didn’t say he was any good at it. He’s done very little in his career that has involved the Mets, except giving up a couple of hits to Blanco and Francoeur. I think we can assume that this one will be a pure bonus if the home nine pull it out.
Wednesday: R.A Dickey (8-5, 2.43) vs. Brett Myers (8-7, 3.13)
I like how the match-ups have fallen this series. Poor Nelson gets thrown to the wolves Tuesday, but Monday’s and Wednesday’s starters are evenly…umm…pitched. In this game, the Mets throw Dickey who is keeping up his end of the bargain, going 1-1, 3.00 over his last 3. Other than the fact that his profile pic has a touch of the “derp” about it, there’s really little else to say. He’s got no history against the Astros, well, 1K, but I don’t know what that was (so I’m going to say Pence).
The Six Inning Man Myers continues to truck along. Even though his record in the recent past isn’t great, 0-1, 3.32 over his last 3, he still maintains his streak of pitching at least six innings in every start this year. Throwing a wider net, he’s 3-1, 2.22 over his last 8. He’s 9-6 for his career vs. the Mets, despite an ERA over 5. Ouch! Moley hits him the best, but that’s only to a level just over .250. It must’ve been some other Mets who ran up his ERA because I’m just not seeing the threat here.
Thursday: TBA (TBA, TBA) vs. Bud Norris (5-7, 5.42)
A rose between two thorns
Until the the visitors decide to Mets or get off the pot, we won’t know who will start Thursday’s finale. So I’ll take the opportunity to post a photo of Bud Norris’ date for the WAGS Gala. Yowza! No wonder that goofy-looking bastard is grinning.
Norris’ girlfriend may be giving it up for him, but he’s been giving it up for everyone else; on the baseball field at least. He got a career high in strikeouts Sunday, but he was pitching against a team that could be beaten by the Houston TZ Softball team, which doesn’t always have enough players. He is 2-0 for his last 3, but considering Sunday’s laffer, an ERA pushing 5 in that same stretch isn’t getting it done. Against the Mets, he’s in virgin territory, unlike [Deleted…Editor].
Giveaways and Promotions
Tuesday is Double Play Tuesday. And that’s all she wrote. To be honest, I can see the logic here. There’s no point in giving away anything nice here, because some homeless MetFan will just shiv you for it in the toilet.
Injury Report
Mets: Pitchers Escobar, Green and Maine are all in various states of disrepair; Catcher Barajas is banging homers in rehab; Bay still thinks he’s Batman, but may snap out of it soon; first-sackers Murphy and Tatis are in bad shape, the latter maybe permanently.
Astros: Arias and Paulino aren’t going to be in action again this year; they tried to get Moehler back, but he’s going for Alkie’s record of groin pulling for the team; Manzella is still shown on the DL on the typically tardy official Astros’ site, so he must be getting close. I’d hurry up if I were him.
What’s on Limey’s Mind
Other than Norris’ girlfriend? MetFans. I work in an office of 11 people…in Houston…and there’s two of the fuckers. I swear we only hired one, but then he divided and now there’s two. And I’m going to Monday’s game with one.
Attention lawyers: what’s Texas’ laws like relating to fratricide?