The Astros just completed a .500 month. June’s record was 14-14, which is pretty good for a team that is barely functional. But raining on that meagre parade is the fact that they were forced to play 12 irrelevant games against the American League, receiving a 2-10 shafting. This Bud’s on you.Against actual competition, the Astros posted a smooth 12-4, including sweeps of Washington and Colorado, and series wins over the FT Cubs, the Giants and the Brewers.
The next leg of this road trip, that would’ve taken 30 years to complete in the days of yore, takes the Astros from Milwaukee to San Diego for a wraparound, holiday weekend extravaganza. The Padres’ record is a near reverse of the Astros’ at 46-32, but they’re June was only 1 1/2 games better than the Astros – 15-12 – despite playing much lesser opposition in an even more fabricated interleague schedule…at home.
Hope? Maybe. The Astros’ National League opposition wasn’t exactly chart-topping.
PETCO Park
Thursday, July 1, 9:05 CDT
Friday, July 2, 9:05 CDT
Saturday, July 3, 7:35 CDT
Sunday, July 4, 2:05 CDT
I hope you’re paying attention, because these games are all over the map.
Probable Pitching Match-Ups
Thursday: Moehler (1-4, 5.63) vs. Garland (8-5, 3.13)
Brian who shall be called Brian got his first win last Friday with a 5 inning, 3 run effort against the Rangers. Not exactly stellar stuff, but better than the 1-3, 6.37 that he is since joining the rotation in May. Still…baby steps. I won’t bore you with the batter vs. pitcher stuff for Moley, because the Padres, like every other major league team, regularly punch him right in the baby-maker.
Garland, who really should be pitching Sunday (think about it) is going for a 4th straight win over the Astros. I see no reason why he won’t get it. In addition to being good at this, he has Berkman at .168 and Lee at .071. Bourn is 5-13 though, but that was before he started striking out more than a weatherman at a pants party.
Friday: Oswalt (5-10, 3.55) vs. Latos (8-4, 2.85)
That's Headley
Supposedly, Oswalt was trying to impress the Rangers, when he gave up 7 runs on Sunday. Well, a performance like that works every time 60% of the time but, for now, he’s still an Astro. He’s 10-2 in his career against the Padres, so let’s hope they’re not on his list of teams to which he wants to be traded. Of the current Pads, he keeps both Hairstons flat, but Gonzales and Headey are decidedly bouffant.
Mat Latos is missing a bunch of letters from his name. He also looks like he’s missing a chromosome or two. He isn’t missing the strike zone much, though, as he’s struck out 20 in his last two starts. In his last start against the Astros, he struck out nine over 8 scoreless innings. As you can imagine, the head-to-head stuff isn’t pretty (it’s actually mostly zeros), so Oswalt’s only chance today against Latos is to kill him with a trident.
Saturday: Norris (2-5, 6.84) vs. Correia (5-6, 5.49)
Bud’s return to the rotation after an injury layoff started off poorly, but he settled and held the Brewers down enough that the Astros could prevail. How much of his shitty record is down to pitching hurt is known only to him, but it’s important that he gets better going forward as the Astros need him. His very limited record against the Padres smells like Bigfoot’s dick.
I believe it was Kevin Correia who stole the letters from Mat Latos’ name. He’s also the shittiest Padre starter that we’ll see this weekend. He’s also sucked recently and, Hunter Pence excepted (.111) has been punted like Baxter by most of the Astros’ offense.
Sunday: Myers (5-6, 3.61) vs. LeBlanc (4-6, 3.25)
Alan
Despite what many of you lot think, Brett Myers is one of the three best friends that anyone could have. Also, he’s arguably the one of the best one starters that the Astros have, despite being taken to Pleasure Town by the Brewers last time out. Overall against SD he’s 2-1, 2.81 though, so there’s that. Eckstein sees him well, but not so much for the others.
LeBlanc is a lefty who has been notching Ks lately, but not Ws. I guess that must go down to the rest of the team. He hasn’t seen the Astros before, so maybe we can fix that for him. Only J-Mike has any sort of record, and that’s 2 walks in 2 PAs.
Giveaways and Promotions
Thursday: Nada
Friday: The Padres go off prematurely with an Independence Day Firework Celebration. Maybe they should think about baseball.
Saturday: The first 25,000 fans (i.e. everybody) gets a towel and a gig by Liquid Blue – which sounds like porn.
Sunday: 10,000 under-14s get a t-shirt. That’s it? Fucking Californians.
Injury Report
Houston: Arias we know about. Manzella fractured a finger as was DL’d last week. The last couple of days saw Fulchino and Paulino laid up with elbow and shoulder tendinitis respectively.
San Diego: Kyle Blanks (OF), Matt Stairs (OaF), Tim Stauffer (P) and Chris Young (P) all hit the DL in the last few weeks. Apparently Matt Stairs is doing some light jogging and is due back from the 15-day DL one day after he was put on it. I’ll let you decide which of those things is more far-fetched.
What’s on Limey’s Mind
A long holiday weekend of having golf and barbecue rained out, while having to remind Texans that they were Mexican when the original Yankees – with the help of France – waged their illegal colonial uprising.