36,019 spun the turnstile to watch the Rangers win the second game of the “Silver Boot” series over the Astros 6-3.
Known by some as the Pause to Pay Some Bills during the real baseball season. The way I knew this was a sham was the FOX broadcast featured Josh Lewin. My experience featured the mute button and suffering through Milo and DoRay.
Miguel Tejada came up second in the order according to today’s spin of Manager Cooper’s lineup roulette. He gave the Astros a one run lead in the first with a Goofy Golf style homerun that went over the right fielders’ glove, under the fans outstretched cap, bounced off the beer ledge attached to the inside of the right field wall and right into the clown’s mouth. The umpires couldn’t believe it and had to review it to call it a homerun. The umpires finally decided that the ledge could also be used to rest a soda as well.
This review lasted for about 5 minutes, during which Milo and DoRay rolled on the floor whining, “what’s taking so long” and “are we there yet?”
When the festivities resumed Brian Moehler continued to make short work of the aggressive Rangers hitters. He faced the minimum the first time through the order, hitting corners with good movement. Then in the 4th the corners evaporated, the pitches drifted over the plate and everything went boom. Specifically Nelson Cruz went boom with a towering 3 run homer that cleared the building.
A fourth run was added in the 5th when a single to left, for which the runner on 2nd was perfectly willing to hold on 3rd, took a high bounce off Carlos Lee’s chest. A 5th run was saved by a perfect relay play from Pence to Matsui to catch the runner sliding into home.
But the back to back homeruns with no outs in the 6th took the shine off of that short lived relief. The Astros meanwhile were swinging often and feeble, rarely hitting the ball out of the infield off Kid Feldman.
At some point after this, “Kenny” The Enormous Douche Nozzle Rosenthal drifted on to the screen (I had captions on) like a bilious Macy’s Day balloon, to proclaim that the Astros will have to trade Valverde and Oswalt, since their season was over. Lewin responded that he didn’t think the Astros thought their season was over. Douche Nozzle is starting to remind me of the Herald in Henry V.
Blum’s 2 run homer in the 7th gave the Astros a whiff at a comeback but nothing further developed.
The highlight of the game, for me, was Milo asking DoRay whether Berkman’s dig of a low throw warranted turning on the Blue Light. Before DoRay could answer Milo turned on the light, explaining, “your body language was telling me to turn it on.” A couple minutes later, in response to further inane and useless nattering by Hamilton, DoRay says “what’s my body telling you now?”