Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Astros 5
Dickities 0
W: Wolf (12-12) | L: R. Ramirez (1-1)
Footer Recap
AP Recap / Box via Yahoo!
Game Zone
With apologies to Smithville, I was going to title this Hope Floats to promote a running theme, but that movie just sucked so fucking bad, there’s no way I could do it. Honestly, I’d still be mad at my wife for making me watch that insipid heap of shit, but she was mad enough at herself anyway, so no need to pile on. I guess if I still haven’t let it go after 10 years, there’s no reason the Smithville Chamber of Commerce would, either. Enjoy the walking tour, everyone.
Anyway… so yeah, there was a baseball game. Sorry.
Randy Wolf improved to 12-12 on the season (6-2 with a 3.57 ERA and a 1.30 WHIP in the part of the season that matters) dealing a sturdy 6.2 innings of shutout ball, with 7 strikeouts.
OMFG! Randy Wolf FTW!!!1! lol
In crossing the 190 inning plateau, Wolf triggered a $250,000 bonus in his contract, which has been oft mentioned in the TZ. And while this may fascinate and intrigue plebeians such as us, consider that he was already walking down the street with $8.25 in his pocket when he was handed that quarter. Sure it’s nice – it’s really shiny, and it’s probably one of those state ones (maybe even a Texas) – but chances are above average that his world view is not significantly altered now that he has $8.50. Which begs the question, Randy, if you’re not using it, can I uh, have that quarter? You know, for… well… not booze, anyway. Definitely not booze.
Every little bit helps, Randy.
Again, I digress. All of the necessary offense came with one swing in the first, when Twinkie jacked one out to left, plating himself and Kaz. For good measure, the ‘Stros loaded the bases with one down in the 8th, and scored three on a Thunderpants walk and a single to left by Q.
In between the good times, the team continued to put the F.U. back into fundamentals, as Spaz shrugged off infinity years of shared baseball understanding, sprinting for third in a non-force situation on a grounder to short DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HIM. Surprisingly, this resulted in an out. What’s the opposite of a clinic? Clusterfucktastrophe? That’s what’s happening on the basepaths right now.
Thanks to Wolf, Geary, Hawkins and Brocail, the Reds netted absolutely nothing for their efforts on the evening, as the Good Guys dealt their thirteenth shutout this season (best in the NL). With the win and steM loss, the ‘Stros are now 3.5 out of the wildcard lead, and the elimination number holds steady at 2. We all get to dream the impossible dream for one more day, hot damn. Keep thinking positive thoughts, like [insert your preferred object of topless Google image searching here] riding a unicorn on a rainbow in space. That should do the trick. Go get ’em, Roy.