Mets (58-50) at Astros (50-57)
Friday, August 1, 7:05pm CDT. FSN & FSN-HD
Saturday, August 2, 6:05pm CDT. FSN & FSN-HD
Sunday, August 3, 1:05pm CDT. my20 & my20-HD (yeah, I don’t believe it either)
Hate the Mets, Hate the Mets,
Step right up and berate the Mets.
Don’t bring the kiddies, don’t bring your wife,
MetFan may force you to run for your life.
Because the Mets are really suckin’ on balls,
Watchin’ our home runs over the walls.
East side, West side, everybody’s coming down,
To HATE the M-E-T-S Mets, of New York town.
Well since my last go at previewisationing, the Astros have added 17 wins and 17 losses to their record. I like to think that the tongue-lashing I gave them in that preview had something to do with the dramatic turnaround to .500 ball. All this puts them a mere 13.5 games behind the division-leading Cubs and half a game ahead of the cellar-dwelling Pirates. Still, 50 wins on the board now, and they only need to post a 50-5 record from here to get to 100 wins. We got ’em right where we want ’em! Kool aid’s on the table at the back.
The Stem on the other hand, are only half a game out of of first in the East, behind Philadelphia with the Marlins hot on their heels. A Phillie o’ Fish sandwich, if you will. The Marlins just beat them two out of three and are at home to Colorado while the Phillies go to STL. So, it’s not too complicated this weekend: we beat the Mets and root for the East to beat the Jakes and the Rukakkies. Everybody wins…except the Mets, Jakes and Rockies. Cool.
Say Hello, Wave Goodbye
With the waiver-free trade deadline now behind us, there’s not much of interest to report about the two rosters on display this weekend. The Astros got has-been relief pitcher LaTroy Hawkins for never-will-be infielder Matt Cusick. They also picked up reliever Alberto Arras from Colorado on waivers, and promptly dispatched him and his shredded arm to Round Rock.
The Mets did even less, restricting their activity to simple roster moves. They activated professional asshat and grieving son Pedro Marinez from the bereavement list, sent pitcher Willie Collazo to the minors and sent pitcher Juan Padila back to the junk pile.
Probable Pitching Match-Ups
Martinez (3-2, 6.25) vs. Backe (6-10, 4.73)
Pedro has been back in the DR following the death of his father. He’s just now been reactivated and is expected to pitch the opener. He hasn’t pitched much this year and when he has he’s been inconsistent. After missing all of April save opening day and all of May, he returned to the rotation in June to pitch resonably well at first. But then he got rocked in 4 straight starts, then got his 3rd win, and then was pulled early from his last game on July 12 because of shoulder stiffness. Berkman, Blum, Erstad and Loretta all have solid numbers against Pedro, while he owns Ausmus and Pence. To be honest, with all that’s going on with this guy, who knows what he’s going to have on Friday, physically or mentally.
Backe’s run into some tough luck of late, being on the mound when the bats didn’t show up against the Cubs with a sweep up for grabs, and then watched the bullpen rip his “W” to shreds as they melted down late in Milwaukee. But 6-10, 4.73 doesn’t lie, and Brandon hasn’t stepped up to be what we all hoped he could be this year. Holey Moley and Trot Nixon hit him a ton (but Nixon is on the Mets’ crowded DL), while he claims pwnage! over Marlon Anderson, Carlos Delgado and Jose Reyes (all not on the DL).
Santana (9-7, 2.93) vs. Oswalt (8-8, 4.67)
The Rule 5 draft is a cruel, heartless bitch. Here was a match made in heaven: Johan Santana and the Astros. Instead, he was sucked down into the pit of despair in Minnesota, and then sent to New York where they’ve taken his sub-3 ERA and turned him into a near-.500 pitcher. That’s pretty hard to do when typically all you need to win is 3 runs! What a fucking waste. To give you an idea: two starts ago he pitched 8 innings of 2-run ball against the Phillies and left the 5-3 lead to the bullpen to close out the win. He ended up with a no-decision after the Phillies dropped 6 soupbones on the Mets, who lost it 8-6. Perhaps more bizarrely, GasCan didn’t feature in the implosion. Last time out, he decided to leave nothing to chance, and spun a CGSO over the Jakes. Despite his undisputed prowess, Lee, Tejada and Wiggington all have good to great numbers against Santana, while no one with a decent number of at-bats has done badly at all. Maybe the Astros have a mind to mess with the Johan…
This shouldn’t be a match-up, this should be the Astros’ 1-2 punch, and I know who would be “The One”. Roy made “one bad pitch” last time out (if you ignore the two base hits and 4-pitch walk given up just before) that allowed Adam Dunn to nail a granny off the wall. The bully hung on in stoic fashion to make Roy’s thinnest of leads stand up, and he got the win. It’s stuff like that which separates him from Brandon Backe, because otherwise there really isn’t that much between them if you don’t look at bank accounts. I haven’t heard of any hangover from that game so lets’s hope we get to see a more focused Roy because he was baffling the Reds with his breaking stuff in that last start. The Puerto Rican Whore kills Oswalt, as does Anderson, Delgado and the not playing today Pedro Martinez. All the base of Easley and Wright are belong to Os.
Maine (9-7, 4.63) vs. Wolf (6-10, 4.73)
John Maine gives up nearly twice as many runs per nine as Santana, and has the exact, same record. Maybe they should swap days. Maine doesn’t typically pitch deep into the game, so much of his record is down to what the bullpen can do. Against the Astros, though, he’s 3-0 lifetime with a 1.57 ERA, which I suspect is his way of telling me to shut the fuck up. There’s a smattering of decent averages against him in the Astros’ lineup, but the one with the most at-bats, Berkman with 11, is sub-Mendoza. This is the third Met starter of the weekend against whom Ausmus is 0-fer, as in “oh ferchissakes!”.
Randy Wolf. The Wolfman! Wolfmeister! Wolfalarama! Acquired via trade recently, a decision that still has me baffled for its total and complete lack of point, this will be his second time on the mound in an Astros’ uni (hopefully sans pinstripes), and the first time as an Astro at MMPUS. I’m sure we’ll be adding a Wolf-Pack to the ever increasing list of animal-themed stalking fraternities. As to the trade, maybe Wade looked at six-ten, four-seventy-three and concluded that he was a perfect fit in the Houston rotation. Meanwhile, across town Gary Kubiak was looking at the exact, same numbers, and deciding that the guy was a perfect fit for his starting defensive line. Randy got an ND in his debut in a game in Milwaukee that the team later won. Luis Castillo is his nemesis but he’s been pretty effective against their bats otherwise. He even keeps our former Central Gardener under .300, which makes him unique in this weekend’s rotation.
Giveaways and Promotions
It’s a bumper crop this weekend folks. Just remember to keep an eye on your shit – there’s MetFans about.
Friday night, the first 10,000 lucky fans get a Dave Newhan … oops … Lance Berkman Bobblehead Doll, everyone gets the post-game fireworks and it’s a Coca Cola Value Night which means that a label from a specially marked Cocal Cola product…and $75…gets you 4 mezzanine tickets, 4 Cokes, 4 Hot Dogs, 2 Astros caps, 2 sunburned heads and 8 trips to the bathroom.
Saturday night rewards the first 10,000 through the gate with this delightful insultated travel mug, which I think looks more like Big Puma than the bobblehead does.
Sunday is a treat for the kids as the first 10,000 under-15s get a timely reminder that school starts again soon, and a backpack, while all the other kids get the shaft on both ends of that deal. However, anyone 5 – 15 gets to run the bases and have one last glorious romp in the sunshine before their evil parents return them to their respective gulags.
Injuries
For Houston, Paulino remains on the increasingly inaccurately named 15-day list.
For New York, there’s a host of players with a host of injuries. So, take a deep breath and read along with me: Tony Armas, Ryan Church, Luis Castillo, Trot Nixon, Moises Alou, Matt Wise, Angel Pagan, Orlando Hernandez, Ambiorix Burgos, Jason Vargas, Special Sauce, Lettuce, Cheese, Pickles and Onion all on a Sesame Seed Bun.
Interesting Tidbits
Tune up your vocal chords, because you’ll want to be at full volume when it comes time to boo Beltran and Wagner. Which, let’s face it, is any time they’re involved in a play. Other returning Astros are Santana (sort of) and Moises Alou. Mo’s on the DL, so watch out in case he’s standing next to you at the urinal.
Former Mets who now enjoy going to the ballpark are Matsui and Wiggy.
It’s time for the Astros to play spoiler. Who better to begin with?