OUT OF THE CELLAR
Coahuila-Tejas Rangers (39-38) at Houston Astros (35-41)
Minute Maid Park
501 Crawford St.
Houston, TX 77002
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Round and round
What comes around goes around
My, my, my. How fortunes have changed, eh? How the Houston Astros went from a team a month or so ago displaying a quasi-magical ability to pull out games late with a smoking offense and surprisingly effective starting pitching, to a team of listless, losing stumblebums, is old news by now. As someone with razor-sharp perception mentioned in the TZ last week, this is a team, going in, that one could reasonably have expected to be 8-10 games under .500 at the halfway mark. But the hot streak in early/mid-May just raised expectations to unreal levels. In fact, if one puts any faith in the Pythagorean Theorem (I am personally not so sure), the Astros record is exactly what it should be, given how many runs they have scored and given up. Or, as the much reviled expression in current use puts it, “It is what it is.” Uh-huh.
I am not really sure at this point what to expect from here on out. The tendency, when the team is playing as badly as it has been the last month or so, is to slip into these sort of stupid, self-defeating statistical arguments. You know, like the one that says if it takes 90 wins to take the division (and the way the F-T-Cubs are playing right now, it’ll take at least that), the Astros will have to go 55-31 (.640) the rest of the way. The number that really bothers me is that the team is 13 games back already in the division, 6.5 in the Wild Card. Neither one of those numbers is insurmountable, but to overcome either, the Astros had better start playing a lot better (and livelier) brand of baseball right away. And get some consistent and solid starting pitching. And I am having trouble envisioning either one of those results at this point.
You know you really want to lay it down
Right now
And how
I know you really want to lay it down
Right now
One more ugly statistical note: No Astros team has ever lost 100 games (they’ve lost 97 three times, most recently in 1991), and I doubt they will this year – like in 2000, however awful the pitching is, there is just too much offense to sink to that level. But, think about this – the team would have to go 27-59 (.314) the rest of the way to “achieve” 100 losses. That would mean the pitching would have to fall almost completely apart, and the offense would have to be pretty erratic. Like it has been for the last 4 weeks, when the Astros have gone 5-20 (.200).
The lone bright spot of late was this past weekend’s series in St. Petersburg against the Rays, where the Astros took 2 of 3. The offense didn’t particularly shine, but the pitching was good, and the ‘Stros finally got a few things to break their way. This series win also spared them the indignity of returning home in last place – they are currently ½ game ahead of Cincinnati in that department.
Is this the start of another upsurge by the Astros? Or just an aberration in a continuing summer-long bummer of a season? We’ll just have to wait and see.
One thing is for sure. At this point, better pitching and more intensity are not only needed; they are really wanted, man.
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• Game 1: Tuesday June 24, 2008 – 7:05 p.m. CDT (FSN)
• Game 2: Wednesday June 25, 2008 – 7:05 p.m. CDT (FSN)
• Game 3: Thursday June 26, 2008 – 7:05 p.m. CDT (FSN)
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It has been hard to take the Texas Rangers for a serious baseball franchise for some time now. They have seemed at times more like an AAA team. Known for inflated offensive numbers (and equally inflated pitching stats) due to their launching pad type ballpark, and for clowninsh moves by their front office, maybe a beer-league softball team would be a closer approximation.
That seems to be changing, though. I have seen a fair amount of the Rangers this season – for some reason Time-Warner has chosen to show many more of their games than usual in this market in 2008 – and they are kind of fun to watch. I never thought I’d say that about the Strangers.
Their starting pitching is still a little dicey – there is not much behind the solid 1-2 of Kevin Millwood and Vicenté Padilla – but they have changed strategy slightly with the offense. Instead of sluggers at every spot, they have installed some exciting and likeable alternatives; like the stellar up-the-middle, top-of-the-order combination of Michael Young and Ian Kinsler, and young outfielders David Murphy and Brandon Boggs to compliment the inimitable Josh Hamilton, famously acquired this past off-season in a trade with the Dickities. DH Milton Bradley has (mostly) quietly been having a terrific season, too, although the Astros may catch a bit of a break there. . . with no DH this series, Bradley, who has been nursing a strained right quadriceps the last several days (apparently not suffered while riding the elevator up to the broadcasting booth in KC to talk to Ryan Lefebvre), may only be available to pinch-hit, as he was in Washington this past weekend. At any rate, Bradley is day-to-day.
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Pitching Matchups
Tuesday
RHP Eric Hurley (0-0, 4.91) vs. RHP Brian Moehler (3-3, 4.35)
Wednesday
RHP Scott Feldman (1-3, 4.61) vs. RHP Roy Oswalt (6-7, 4.84)
Thursday
RHP Kevin Millwood (5-3, 4.61) vs. LHP Wandy Rodriguez (2-3, 2.81)
Fun Facts
Kevin Millwood always reminds me of the Michael Moriarity character in Clint Eastwood’s Pale Rider. . . With Gerald Laird on the DL, the Rangers starting catcher for now is Jarrod Saltalamacchia, the switch-hitting backstop you may remember from his Atlanta days, when he was lusted after by several Astros fans and media types. “Salty” is having a bit of a rough time offensively so far (.220/.345/.350), and I suspect the Astros will attempt running on him, early and often. . . No one but no one gives a flying fuck about the Silver Boot. Just thought I’d interject that here.
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Move #1 to stop the bleeding – The Astros have announced they are bringing up Runelvys Hernandez from Round Rock to take a spot in the starting rotation. Former KC Royal Hernandez, 30, is 6-3, 3.72 in 15 starts with the Express this season. Shawn Chacón will be bumped from the rotation to the bullpen to make room for him. Management has not announced who will be dropped from the team to make room for Hernandez.
Chacón did not take the demotion well, rattling off “a string of expletives that won’t be printed here” according to Astros.com reporter and TZ demi-goddess Alyson Footer. I don’t expect Chacón would be too happy about it; but he better watch himself in front of Alyson, if I have to come all the way from Beaumont to kick his silly-looking ass to get him to. Just go do your job and STFU, Chacón. You are lucky to even be here and, anyway, Elvys is in the building.
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Injuries
Texas – A.J. Murray (LHP), rotator cuff strain, 15-day (June 4); Doug Mathis (RHP), shoulder strain, 15-day (June 20); Gerald Laird (C), strained right hamstring, 15-day (June 21); Milton Bradley (OF-DH), strained right quadriceps, day-to-day.
Houston – Kazuo Matsui (2B), strained right hamstring, day-to-day.
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Promotions
1. June 24 (Tuesday) – Lone Star Series T-shirt (first 10,000 fans)
Get your crappy T-shirt to remind you of the heroic battle for the Silver Boot, c. 2008
2. June 25 (Wednesday) – $6 TGF haircuts, Texas Baseball Hall of Fame Art Card
Um, whatever. . .
3. June 26 (Thursday) – Plush cow, Dan Ackroyd Blues Brothers look-alike contest
Here we go. . .Get your girlfriend a plush cow, plus impress your friends with how well you can play the harmonica and butcher classic R & B songs. . . Winner gets to meet Dan Ackroyd after the game, I wonder if Ackroyd will show him his webbed toes?
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Rangers win the series, 2-1. And the Silver Boot, dammit.
Heard he came from the D.R.
Somewhere down south
Started hangin’ with the Express crowd
That’s how he got that fastball down
What is all this talkin’ goin’ round?
She said, “He’s so good lookin’, turns me on”
Three up, three down with no runners on”
The girls all know he’s Elvys Jr.
You know you can’t bring up one without moving another
Chacón, that’s why you’re headed for the bullpen, brother
That’s how it is, watch your mouth around Alyson, too
Elvys Jr.
You don’t live it up or never live it down
Elvys Jr.
He’s the hottest thing to ever hit this town
Go man go
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You may follow the game action as it unfolds in the Game Zone.
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