Yankees 2, Astros 1
W: Veras (1-0) | L: Brocail (2-1) | S: Farnsworth (1)
HRs: Jeter (4)
AP recap/boxscore/PBP via Yahoo!
Krysten Oliphant wrap
I’m filling in for BudGirl on this one, and I’d like to thank her for taking a relaxing vacation while we remain in the trenches, watching an absolutely pathetic display of baseball from the manager on down against the Evil Empire, and making me write this fucking thing when I am extremely disgusted. I apologize this may seen more like a vent, but screw it.
The New York fucking Yankees. The greatest fucking team in the history of fucking baseball. The New York fucking Yankees have the greatest fucking tradition that every fucking team strives for. The New York fucking Yankees have the highest fucking payroll in major league fucking baseball, so they are fucking entitled to win these fucking games, especially when playing the fucking interleague schedule.
Angel Fucking Hernandez calling balls and strikes. Friday the fucking 13th. Young, converted reliever Joba fucking Chamberlain starting whom the Astros have never fucking faced. What could go fucking wrong?
Nearly every fucking thing is the answer.
Shawn Chacon coughed up a fucking run in the first, but settled fucking down and pitched well through 6 1/3 fucking innings. He did his fucking job.
The Astros tied the fucking thing up in the fourth, but should have had fucking more if not for a fucking caught stealing right before an RBI single by Wiggy. The good guys loaded the fucking bases after Wiggy’s hit, but Joba the fucking Hut intentionally walked Ausmus after another walk, a stolen base, and a fucking wild ass pitchout. Chacon popped it meekly to fucking right field to leave the bases fucking juiced.
Another scoring opportunity was fucking lost in the sixth. Kaz walked and promptly stole fucking second, Berkman was intentionally fucking walked, but Lee took a fucking weak swing and popped to fucking center to end the fucking threat.
In the seventh, Bourn was fucking robbed of a walk by Angel the fucking douche bag ump, but he later singled, stole fucking second easily, but got a fucking terrible jump and was thrown out at fucking third base by rag fucking armed Jorge Posada.
Brocail entered the fucking tie game to pitch the eighth, and promptly served up a fucking meatball to no other than Mr. fucking clutch himself, Derek fucking Jeter. 2 to fucking 1 score.
The fucking meat of the Astros order was up in the bottom half of the fucking inning, however, so a fucking solo shot didn’t seem like a fucking backbreaker. Tejada hit a fucking weak grounder to short, Berkman popped to fucking right center, and Lee topped off teh fucking suck with a caught looking fucking punch out.
Valverde came on in the top of the fucking ninth to keep it close. Matsui ‘zilla singled and went to second on a fucking ridiculous balk call by, you guessed it, Angel fucking Hernandez. He settled down and blew away pinch hitter Johnny fucking Damon and defensive replacement catcher Jose Molina, yep one of the fucking squatter brothers.
On to the bottom half of the fucking ninth. The Astros caught a fucking break with Kyle Farnsworth entering for the save opportunity instead of regular fucking Yankee closer Mariano Rivera. Wiggy lead off and immediately fell to fucking 0-2, but worked his way back to a full count before getting fucking plunked and jogging to first without showing any fucking pain from the mid 90s fucking fastball. Bourn was up next, but he couldn’t fucking bunt on the first perfect fucking pitch because he pulled the fucking bat back. Strike one. The next pitch was an even higher fucking fastball and he bunted it in the fucking air right to fucking Farnsworth. Coop decided to pinch hit Blum, but he also called a fucking idiotic straight steal with Wiggy running. He was fucking gunned down. Next pitch, Blum whiffed to end the fucking thing.
Good fucking night. Hope tomorrow is fucking better.
Read about it in the fucking Game Zone if you like fucking torture.