The problem with promising something to people is they start noticing when you don’t deliver whatever it was you promised. I have enough trouble squeezing out more than two of these a year, so jumping to a couple a month was going to be more difficult than watching Top Chef and not hoping that Padma Lakshmi’s clothes are going to fall off during Restaurant Wars.
It goes without saying (although I’m still typing) that I may not have looked as diligently at the 2008 schedule as I should have before imagining this whole Off Day gig. Maybe I was foolishly looking at the 2007 sched, maybe I wasn’t; none of that is really the point. The point is some jackass has set up a schedule so remarkably screwy I’m certain J.J. Abrams signed on to produce it and the turned it over to an assistant at the last minute so he could shove Rambaldi Artifacts up his ass with Charles Widmore. This month, including today, the Astros do not play baseball for 4 consecutive Mondays. Next month, the Astros have, including the All-Star break, 4 consecutive Thursdays off. On top of that, MLB is in one of those thankless cycles of 4 and 2 game “series” that they seem to go though every few years. Let me be perfectly clear, I don’t have that much to say, certainly not enough to go weekly. So if you’re saddened or pissed by that bit of news, there’s only one person to blame…the MLB’s Czarina of Schedule Making, Katy Feeney.
The good news, and to make this more about your struggling nine, and less about my whining, is that the schedule couldn’t be setting up better for the Astros. If they can make though the next couple of weeks.
To date, Houston has played 33 out of 57 games on the road. To contrast, the Cubs have played 23 out of 56 in their greys. The Cardinals, during the same stretch, 25 road games. The worm, as they say, is about to turn in the favor of the stagnant stars.
In June, the estimable Ms. Feeney and her crack team of schedule cyphers has decided to bend the Jakes over and make them enjoy the view from Motel 6. Billy Jean King and her band of overachieving miscreants will be in St. Loogie for only 8 games this month, against 18 on the road. The Cubs will also be racking up the frequent flyer miles playing 17 out of 27 away from the drunken confines and their overserved, jorts wearing fanbase.
Maybe that’s a good thing?
Meanwhile, for the first time in a while, the Astros can look forward to kicking up their heels, unpacking their bags, and mayba have someone besides Dennis Liborio wash their undies. Good ol’ wives. The hometown crowd will get to see 16 home games, which interestingly is the most of any month on the schedule. In all the Astros play 57 home games the rest of the way, including 13 of their last 19 on the schedule, compared to 48 for both St. Louis and Chicago.
It’s time to start making some hey. Or somesuch.
Straightball…I Hit It Very Much. Curveball, Bats Are Afraid.
Not really, I just like Pedro Cerrano. He’s the shit.
But something has obviously made the Astros bats very sick. The next time Houston scores 3 runs in a game will be the first time in a while. May 27th, the Astros, all will sore asses from getting their shit handed to them by the Phillies, beat the Cardinals 8-2. Since then, Houston has scored a combined 6 runs. With the Racket, Andy Pettitte and the Real Oswalt, that wouldn’t be enough. With Brandon Backe, Wandy Rodriguez, Brian Moehler, it’s bordering on criminal.
The veterans, including Lance Berkman, Carlos Lee and Miguel Tejada, are taking the slump in stride, as veterans will do. They’re saying the right things, going about their business, and stuffing the younger players under their wings. The person taking the current rash of crap play hardest is none other than the not-interim manager, Cecil Cooper.
I don’t have a problem with Cooper, and I get there’s a lot of OTJ training that’s going on in his village this season. I think eventually, he’s going to be a pretty good manager. But I have rarely seen a man of his years take losing a baseball game in May as hard as he does. I like to watch the post game press conferences when ever FOX Houston decides that they have to fill 4 hours of programming a day. Watching Cooper give a postgame summary of a loss, well, it’s like watching the end of Death of a Salesman, with the weight of the world squarely on ol’ Cecil Lohman’s shoulders.
I don’t think his time is best served ruminating with the bottom-feeding media types about how he should learn how to manage his pitchers, or how he needs to stand behind his players, after throwing them variously under the bus. Or (and this is just me personally) wishing to be more like Tony LaRussa. One of the results of all the talking through his problems with McTaggart and Ortiz, is that you can see him overmanaging, trying to outthink the situations. Cooper said a lot before this season about what he learned from the managers he’s played for and worked under. Maybe he needs to give ol Scrap Iron a call when it comes to the media and letting the locals see you sweat.
His burn, at least what he lets the public see, is an internal fire, so to speak. He’s not outwardly angry like Hal Lanier, who in all likelihood will die with his trashcans thrown in the Astrodome record intact, but ultimately the results could be the same. Burn out is burn out, and if Coop doesn’t learn to deal with the losses and move on, his new career could turn out to be a pretty short one.
Congrats to Twinkie
Lance Berkman was named National League Badass of the Month, beating out pre-teen redneck favorite Chipper Jones for the honor. Vendo is in the top 5 in 12 different offensive categories, all while keeping fresh grilled cheese sandwiches in his backpockets. Berkman, this Black Lager is for you.
They’ll be more next week, evidently.
Thanks Katy.