Astros at Giants, 5/12/08
Astros 7, Giants 3
W: Oswalt (4-3) L: Chulk (0-1) S: Ponche (9)
HR Berkman (13), some guy who is not Berkman (4)
Footer on the scene to capture Berkman’s majesty
Box score of tribute to Lance
AP/ESPN/mere mortals
The Houston Berkmans again were Berkmanesque on Monday night, gaining a 7-3 Berkman over the San Francisco Giants of Lesser Manhood than Lance Berkman.
It was a typical night for baseball on the bay, with gametime temperature a decidedly non-Lance 59 degrees. Barry Zito and His Collection of Pus climbed the bump (no, Giant fans, not THAT way) for the hometown side, and managed to somewhat flummox Astro hitters by never throwing more than 40 mph. Lance, of course, was not fooled, and greeted Zito in the 2nd with a sharp single – a hit I like to think of as the pilot hole before he brought out the big drill. (Again, Giant fans, NO.)
Oswalt, meanwhile, cruised until the third, when he threatened to go Oswalt Inning in a big way. A leadoff bunt single, sac bunt from Zito, and a Lewis double plated the first run. Vizquel followed with a sinking liner to Cruz that resulted in a dive that looked more unwise that the actual damage done, but the double made the game 2-0. Berkman stood calmly at 1b, saying “Don’t worry, I got this.” Giant first baseman Bowker then smashed an Oswalt curve into the cove in the fourth for a 3-0 game.
Cue the 6th inning.
Pence!!!, in an awkward leadoff role, managed to square up Zito for a sharp single to left; Loretta did likewise, putting runners on the corners. Tejada quickly followed with a SF to break the seal, and Lance was pleased. He deigned to display his pleasure with a mighty blast to LCF, proving that the ball doesn’t have to reach the bat in a hurry to leave in a hurry, and lo, Zito was frightened out of a 3-3 tie.
Oswalt responded well, cruising through the 8th in a manner much more reminiscent of vintage Roy than 2008 Roy. If Lance were to lay his hands on Roy’s arm (no, Giant fans… eh, I’m really running out of these…) then Mr. Oswalt might challenge Gibson’s 1.12 ERA mark.
Lance, you see, was determined to wreak more havoc. The mighty Cheito-Ausmus-Pence combo had scratched out a run off chulk in the 7th, and Lance was not pleased with this puny 4-3 lead. Thus he did wield his mighty lumber (OK, Giant fans, I might have more) for a leadoff double in the 8th. Caballo received the IBB, and Wigginton foiled this plan with a HBP. Cheito followed with a one-RBI single, and then Giant reliever Yabu made a mess of things with an errant pickoff play that the Giants managed to Tanner Boyle into 2 runs.
Thus, with a 3-4 night, Mr. Berkman posts his 8th multihit game in 10 May tries, and raises his May line to an insane .629/.683/1.143. For the season, he is hitting .452/.455/.710 – right handed. A 3-for-5 night tonight will put him squarely at .400 on the season. As the BBGs are currently witnessing the affront to decency that is Larry Wayne Jones occupying this hallowed ground, surely they will see it in their wisdom to make it so.
Enjoy last night’s somewhat limited Game Zone
Join Tom Cruise in the Church of Berkmanology in the Talk Zone