Backe in the saddle again | OrangeWhoopass

Brewers 5, Astros 3

W: Carlos Villanueva (7-3) | L: Brandon Backe (0-1) | S: Francisco Cordero (40)

Man, it’s been over a year since I’ve been on a major league mound. I’ve worked hard to get back, and now with a new strong tendon replacing my frayed elbow ligament, I feel like the bionic man. Bring on the Brewers!

Okay, eight warmup pitches to my catcher Eric Munson, and I’m ready to go. Despite reading on the internet that I may be slightly hyped up for my first pitch, I think I’ll just try to throw a strike, so FB it is. That speedy secondbaseman Weeks is in the box ready to hit, so here we go.

88 mph. I’ll take it. Now get to work. Next pitch, oh crap, deep fly to left… whew, caught on the track, one down. Next up is that Gross lefty dude, I gotta keep the ball out of the air. Grounder to Lance, gotta get over to cover first… no problem, I’ve got wheels, man. Two down. So far so good, now up is that Braun rookie, this dude is hitting everything. Damn! Go foul ball! He wrapped it around the pole, SOB. Down by a run, but it doesn’t get any easier, in steps that big Prince MF. No prob, the shift is on, I’ll just paint the outside corner and… dinked a single by my new thirdbaseman Ty. That sucks. I’ll just have to get this tall skinny outfielder next. Damn that dude has a hellacious reach with those long arms, double into the corner, good thing that Prince dude stopped at third. Settle down man, you got the vet Jenkins next. You know that dude who snapped his ankle a couple of years ago, gruesome stuff. He likes to golf balls, so stay up and away….yes! Pop up behind third. Back to the dugout down by a run.

Back on the hill, I thought I was going to get to bat that inning. Munson drove that ball deep, no dice. Time to throw a zero up there, here we go. Estrada fly to left. Gotta keep the ball down. Crap! I couldn’t throw strikes to Hardy, I hate walks. In the stretch, here comes the pitcher to the dish, I’ll get his ass. Fielders choice, 2 down. Leadoff hitter up… what happened to my command? Another walk, dammit! Two runners on, gotta be careful here, this Gross dude has some pop. Smashed but Burke grabbed it, safe at first. Base loa…. dammit Lance! Why throw that wormburner to third to try and catch the pitcher rounding the bag? I had this, now another run has scored, and Braun is up again. Time to bear down… routine grounder to third, whew. Now I get to hit.

Throw me a strike, geez. Hell, I’ll take a walk. Dude knows I can smash. Now, I gotta break up the DP… no dice. Burke with a drive! Hell yeah! Down by one run again.

Back out there for the third, a can-o-corn and a ground out, damn Jenkins. Nine-ironed it for a double. Another grounder, no damage done.

Might get to hit again this inning. Luuuuke! with a one out double, hell yeah. Crap….stuck on deck again, that Villa dude is dealing.

8-9-1 this inning, I got their number. Easy inning, Give me a bat!

Okay, maybe a bit anxious there, dude whiffed me. Hunter singles next, but that’s it. On to the 5th.

This Gross dude is pissing me off, single to center. Braun next, how the hell to pitch him? In the stretch now, get him to pop up. Hell yes! Now, that scary home run leader, holy shit that Prince guy can rake, I thought he might have got me there, but the latin horse grabs it in deep left. Have to bear down here, 2 down, facing that gangly Hart. Oops, bad pitch, gotta back up home plate… SOB another run, and the throw missed the cutoff to allow Hart to third. Golfer man again, a pop up! But Burk and Luuuke can’t reach it… another run. Not what I had planned here, now I’m really pissed. Estrada flys out, but two more runs this inning, ouch.

We gotta score some runs, man. Sixth inning, Villa puts up another zero.

Back out for the bottom half. Coop has Moehler warming up, but I’ve only thrown 80 some pitches…A pop up, and they are pinch hitting for Villa, into their pen now. PH Rottino up there, I remember him from last night, almost snuck a go-ahead single up the middle. Routine to short, now for Weeks. Why can’t I throw strikes to that dude? Walked him on four pitches. Dammit! Here comes Coop… I’m done.

Cheerleader time, come on Brian! Grounder to Burke, good job! Let’s get some runs boys!

Texas boy Scottgun takes the 7th. Munson with a grounder… booted by Weeks, WooHoo! Lamb advances him into scoring position with a roller. Rook with an RBI single! I love that guy! Burke singles! Hell yeah!! Lance walks, Bases freakin’ loaded! Damn straight man! El Kabong (I read that on the internet, OWA rocks!) is gonna rake here… Oh, well, got a pair of runs anyway. Down 4-3.

Shut’em down Brian! Damn, I hate a leadoff bunt. Time for a DP grounder here… walked him. Another bunt, second and third one out, oh no. Intentional walk to load’em up for the slow footed catcher. Get’em Brian! Ah damn, got some air under it, sac fly, now behind 5-3. Rally time again, boys.

That lefty submariner on the rubber now. The Brew Crew going with D here, and Coop counters with the old man as a pinch hitter for Luuuke. Three thousand forty five hits, that dude is a dinosaur! Add another! leadoff infield single, hell yeah! Ranson up to hit for Brian, damn a foul out. Take him deep Munson! DP grounder…major bummer dude.

Okay McLemore, hold’em here in the 8th. One down, so far so good. That Weeks dude sure can take a pitch, another freakin’ walk. Glad it wasn’t just me. Haha, that skinny dude with his bat in the air tried to take Mac deep, no way man! Now another pinch hitter, a righty with an open stance. Fouled off a few, got em! Nice job Mac!

Let’s get some run boys! Coop talking to the HP ump… going out to check their closer Cordero, WTF? Crowd booing… I think the closer is pissed. Yep, Lamb has to jump a FB at the shins. Base hit! Hell yeah! Oh shit, a DP ball, the Rook beats the relay, whew! Burke with another hit! Tying run on first! Damn this is fun, knock the crap out of it Lance! Bummer, Cordero crossed him up with a two strike bender. El Kabong time! Look at all those RBI’s he has racked up this year, whoa! That Cordero dude is throwing darts… hard shot on the ground! Right to the thirdbaseman, game.