April 18, 2007
Astros 7, Dickities 2
W: Chris Sampson | L: Todd Coffey
Yackball: Lane (3)
Pigpen watch: 2,944 (0-5)
Take a stroll down memory lane in the GameZone thread
Pop corks, clink glasses in the TalkZone
Other coverage:
AP story
The Footer
Apropos of Nothing:
Lookie! Falling Down! Loud noises!
The good times keep right on rolling as the ‘Stros opened a can late and moved within a half game of first in the Central, percentage points ahead of the Skyline Cornholes. The magic number is now 149 – it’s never too early to start counting, people.
On the continuing topic of a certain #5 starter
Chris Sampson got off to a nice start, going 1-2-3 through the top of the order, and notching the first spike of the evening on Alkie’s Indignation Meter. Luke Scott, Professional Ninja then threatened to do some damage early, sending one deep to the wall in right. The Red Messiah used 80% of the remaining mojo in his hammies to get up and haul it in, robbing Luke of a tater and Houston’s children of significant joy. (Why do you hate children, Ken Griffey, Jr?) Word is, Junior spent the rest of the game ducking shuriken, and will be sleeping with the lights on tonight.
In the bottom of the 2nd, Slappy Brandon Phillips poked one out off the top of the fence in center to put the Reds up 1-0, leaving Alkie momentarily paralyzed and uncertain of his next move. On the other side, Aaron Harang continued his typical mastery of the Good Guys, mowing them down and drawing rave reviews from the dozen or so fans in attendance. The bottom of the 3rd passes without incident, Alkie returns to penning a letter to his state representative, petitioning for legislation to name Sampson the #2 starter.
The boys juiced the bases with one out in the top of the 4th on a Mike Lamb single and walks to The Caballo and El Ninja, but Jason Lane and The Field General were up to the task of putting that fire out, waving the inning away with a pair of Ks. Josh Hamilton made it a 2-0 deficit in the bottom of the frame, smacking a solo cracker out to left. Sampson’s ERA skyrocketed momentarily to 1.47, sending Alkie into a temporary shame spiral.
Wheels pop off, Reds crapwagon careens into ditch
Harang continued trucking right along, giving up just one run on a Flapjack groundout in the 6th, while Sampson kept things quiet on the flip side with some very strong work. OP came onto pinch hit in the top of the 8th, ending Sampson’s night after 7 innings of 2 run baseball, on the hook for what would be a tough loss. Alkie shuffles off to the shack behind the house to put the finishing touches on a rambling 850 page Sampson Manifesto, scrawled out under a single dim bulb while muttering to himself. Harang made way for Todd Coffey, who got the thing started by whacking Palmeiro, putting the leadoff man aboard.
Pigpen struck out trying to bunt the runner over, and Lamb followed with a groundout, moving Palmeiro to second. With two down, Twinkie strode to the plate and slapped a single into left to plate the tying run, oblivious to his early struggles and the fracas he got into with a tarp earlier in the game. It’s tough to rattle a man who’s mostly cream filling, my granpappy always said. El Kabong walked, netting a pitching change and a Mark Loretta pinch hit at-bat (Scott headed immediately to the locker room to sharpen his katana before departing for Griffey’s house.) Loretta plated Fat Elvis with a single off of Cormier, making it 3-2 and putting Sampson in line for the win. Alkie immediately begins drunk-dialing McLane’s office and leaves a slew of voicemails – some angry, some weepy, some both. Then Jason Lane breaks the thing open by launching one out to left, making it 6-2 Houston. There is much jubilation in the visitors’ dugout, much sadness in the stands. As it should be.
Ausmus scored an insurance run in the top of the ninth on a Ryan “Bat Shit Crazy” Freel throwing error, while Wheeler locked down the 8th and 9th with just a walk allowed to finish the job. Sampson moves to 2-0 on the campaign, and Alkie rushes off to retrieve support stats for his next rant from the Baseball Reference page he sponsored. No, really.
Next up, Woodrow vs. Arroyo at 6:10 Thursday. I don’t know about you, but I’ve got my fingers crossed for the return of white guy cornrows…