…says Harold Ramis, climbing out of an over-sized footlocker with Sean Young.
The Astros bolted out of the blocks, taking 5 of the first 6 games. Of course, this was an opening homestand that included 4 games vs. the Reds. Then they went out on the road where the wheels fell off, and they finished April with a 9-13 record. Then things went bad. In May, the Astros fell to a season-low 15-30 record, finishing the month only slightly improved at 19-32.
Jeff Bagwell went on the DL because of his bum shoulder and had to delay surgery due to his Doctor being on vacation (or something). Later, he was quietly proclaimed as being “done” for the year. The Ezequiel Astacio Experiment was ended. Ditto Brandon Duckworth. Berkman was hitting like Jason Lane. Jason Lane was hitting like Chris Burke. Chris Burke was hitting like Luke Scott. Luke Scott was sent back to the minors for hitting like a girl.
It was the end of May, and it was a dark time. But the pitching – oh, the pitching.
In stark contrast to the flaccid offense, the pitching had been mostly fantastic. Ignoring the 5th starter (the identity of whom is usually only worthy of interest during Spring Training), the rotation had been amazing. Their gaudy numbers aside, they deserved medals for being able to stay focused while enduring short, unproductive inning after short, unproductive inning of Astros hitting. They stayed on-point, and the hitting finally came around.
June. MLB had given the Astros a weak schedule for the month. It should’ve been weaker than it was, but who would’ve thought the Clowned-up Orioles were going to be this good? Anyway, Lane and Burke remained the better options for the corner outfield positions; and that wasn’t good. But Berkman (now at 1B) started to hit like Berkman. Biggio continued to hit like Biggio (and be a defensive upgrade at 2B – which says more about Kent than Craigito). Ensberg started to hit like A-Rod (WTF?). And the line-up became moderately productive with the bonus of some genuine power threats in the meat of the order.
Suddenly the marvelous pitching began to have meaning. The mound staff were able to make the offense’s still patchy, but now somewhat average, productivity stand up. A 16-9 run on the back of series with Toronto, Kansas and 2 vs. Colorado halved the games-under-.500 number. It also suggested that they might even contend for the Wild Card because, despite their shitty start, the NL was so over-stocked with crap that they weren’t that far behind!
By July, the resurrection was complete. A 9-2 drive to the break, including taking 6 of 7 from the top teams in the NL West (well, the Dodgers were 2nd before they came to Houston, IIRC), achieved a number of things:
- Put the club back over .500 for the first time since late-April;
- Eased them into 2nd place in the Central, ahead of the laughable Cubbies but still well adrift of the R.U.N.N.O.F.T 3rds;
- Jumped them over a pack of circa-.500 teams so that only the Marlins stand between the Astros and the Wild Card leading Braves – “only” 5 games up; and
- Propelled a number of Astros towards All-Stardom.
While Clemens’ and Lidge’s selections to the All-Star team were widely anticipated, it would’ve been difficult to expect any other Astros to go if the team was still sucking wind at the foot of the Comedy Central. The climb back to respectability opened some opportunities because the mediots were talking about the Astros again. Oswalt made it in via the back door (NTTAWWT), which is only fair considering he is 2nd in the NL for wins and ERA (behind Clemens for the latter).
Ensberg was the league’s most productive third-sacker, but the fans voted in a hobbled Rolen and La Russa saw fit to pass on poor Morgan. In a way, I think this was good for him as he garnered more positive pub. for being snubbed than he would’ve had if he’d been quietly picked behind Errormiss Ramirez. Mo got to go in the end, of course, once Rolen withdrew.
Comparisons to last year’s stampede into the playoffs are well made, and I think the team is winning at a greater clip than the 2004 incarnation. This, IMHO, is thanks to Berkman and Ensberg. Not to say that the pitching was irrelevant, but it was these two who turned the offense around and gave the pitching staff something to defend. Two sluggers, back-to-back in the line-up, gave the offense a whole nother look, making those who came before and after more productive.
In Willy Taveras, Biggio and Ensberg, the Astros have three players with 49 or more runs scored. Only two other NL teams boast that: Cincy and the D-Backs. But when you consider that the Astros remain dead last in team batting average – for both leagues – it’s a remarkable feat.
And things can still get better. Lane and Burke are everyday players and hit in the 5th and 6th slots typically. Lane has some ok power numbers (someone other than Ensberg had to have been batting Ensberg in) but he sucks in most other aspects of hitting. Burke, double-digit hitting streak notwithstanding, sucks in all aspects of hitting. It is hard to imagine that The Count cannot make a trade before the deadline for an outfielder who can hit better than Burke. In fact, every single major league outfielder* has a better average than Burke…except Sammy Sosa (bwahahahahahahaha). Wanna know who’s 4th-worst in the majors? Jason Lane. Oh, you didn’t want to know? Sorry.
Purpura cannot allow the outfield to continue to be more full of soft noodles than Hideki Irabu. Almost any outfielder will do. Even a first baseman would do (moving Berkman back to LF). I’d take Hee-Seop Choi at this point! (Yes, even he has a better average than Burke). Now a meaty slugger like the oft-mentioned Dunn would be great. But the Astros are on the verge of something here, and unlike last season, it won’t take a blockbuster acquisition to spur them on to greater things.
Here’s to hoping that the next couple of weeks are interesting.
* As identified by Yahoo! Sports; who still show Biggio and Pooholes as outfielders.