Really? You could’ve fooled me! Pitchers and catchers report, and we get nothing. Position players report . . . nothing! Everyone’s pussy-footing around the new manager, saying all the right things and showing up for camp early (brown-nosers!). This all leads to Spring Training reports with all the incite and pep of Alan Ashby’s play-by-play. Yawn.
I know ST games mean nothing, but I’m wasting away waiting for someone to actually throw a pitch in anger!
The Power Station
Naming rights issues mean that, rightly or wrongly, the name “Enron” is stuck on the Astros’ crib for a while. The nickname EFUS is a derivative of that name, and needs to be retired. I always thought it was a little contrived in any case ? and I have bad memories of it as I was laughed off the air by Charlie and Rich when I suggested it to them in my one and only appearance on Houston talk radio.
Gene Elston thinks the actual name should revert to “Union Station”, plain and simple. That doesn’t leave much to work with, nick-wise. I believe the ballpark which is home to Bagwell, Berkman, Hidaglo, Ward and (if projections are accurate) Ensberg at the plate and Miller, Oswalt, Wagner, Redding and Hernandez on the mound is worthy of the moniker “The Power Station”. I’m sure I’m not original in coming up with this name (am I ever?), but I like the synergy it has with the current young team.
Some Like It Hot
So, MLB now owns the Expos, and what is their first move? They sign Jose Canseco. WTF? Canseco is the prototypical DH. He hits for average and power while possessing the defensive skills of Stevie Wonder sitting at his piano. This man even headed a home run ferchrissake! They plan to play him in LF. I can’t wait until the ?Speaux come to town.
Perhaps they think that signing a name like Canseco to the Expos will demonstrate that MLB is serious about running a competitive franchise. If this is the case, they also think that baseball fans around the country are thick as shit. For the most part, they may be right as I’m sure . Roto-geeks up and down the country will be slavering at his offensive statistics, and some mediots might even endorse the deal. However, this is obfuscation, pure and simple. A big name to give the Expos a veneer of credibility.
Fashion tip: This week, I shall be mostly wearing Alexandre Herchcovitch
Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend
What’s also disturbing about all this is that Canseco is up on assault charges for a bar brawl in Florida. Once again MLB shows its true colors and offers an olive branch, wrapped in $100 bills, to a miscreant. As usual, ball players are held to a different standard than us mortals. If that were me, I’d be relegated to flipping burgers and, depending on the seriousness of the offense, face possible deportation.
Conversely, I have to applaud The Yacht Captain for stepping up and hiring Daryl Strawberry. The Straw has a self-destructive tendency bigger than the Astros in the play-offs. He has the disease of addiction. He has battled this disease, and mostly lost. Daryl and people like him need our support. I wonder if the Astros or Padres will be as understanding with Caminiti.
Of course, a baseball team is probably not the best place to be if you are trying to avoid temptation. I hope that the Yankees’ support of Strawberry extends to some policing of his activities and sensitivity to his situation. I’m a fairly down to earth bloke, and lonely hotel rooms late at night can make *my* thoughts turn to drugs and sex parties!
Living in a Material World
Yesterday I went to the Rodeo – Mrs. Limey and I try to go at least once a year. Neither of us are country music fans, so the option for other types of music is welcome. This year, we saw Bob Dylan.
I do not own any Bob Dylan CDs. There are a number of his albums which are must haves in an decent music collection. However, there’s always something else that gets in the way of me buying his stuff. “I’ll get that next time”, I tell myself. The Rodeo offered me the chance to personally applaud one of the most important musicians to have ever lived. It was a privilege. I mean, there he was ? Dylan! That’s him down there! The man! The legend!
Couldn’t understand a frikkin’ word.
Like a Virgin
Well the much anticipated Six Nations Rugby match-up between England and Ireland came and went last weekend. Well, England came and Ireland went. Pretty much dismissed by half-time, Ireland showed almost nothing while being pasted to the tune of 45-11. The win installs England as the world’s #1 ranked team ? although this means nothing until they prove they can actually beat the southern hemisphere teams in the southern hemisphere.
This sets up a big-time grudge match against France, in Paris, on March 2. Les Grenuilles are all that stands in the way of England’s Grand Slam (perfect season).
While the England game was processional, the win was joyous and I was on my third Guiness by 9.30am. Wales and France, however, put on a nail-biter of a show and took their game right down to the wire. Well, it would have been a nail biter if some random Welshman hadn’t insisted on telling me the result of this (tape delayed) game at half time. He also included useful details like the fact that Wales had two scores waived off in the final seconds of their 37-33 loss.
Thanks Taffy, you prized wanker!