Editor’s note – This article originally appeared on AstrosConnection.com.
Of Gonzos Past?
I’m not much of a crier or a weeper. As a bit of a throwback in the sensitivity area, there isn’t much in sports that moves me to the point of tears anymore. The Astros haven’t won anything of significance in well, forever, so I can honestly say, baseball wise, the last time I got visibly emotional about the game was either the Astros/Mets playoff series or Cal Ripken setting the perfect attendance mark to end all perfect attendance marks. Probably the latter.
So I kind of surprised myself last night, watching Game 7 of the World Series. I was watching baseball for baseball’s sake, having no real interest in either the Yankees or the Diamondbacks championship aspirations. I was also reading the paper, folding underwear and watching the Hugh Hefner roast on the PIP. I’m all about the multi tasking. I was keeping track of the numerous Xstros in the game. And I noted to my wife at the time that it was pretty sad that Luis Gonzales’ off-season began with his eighth inning strike out. At the time it punctuated nicely his 0-4 night. I was pretty sure that there was no way he was going to swing anything besides golf clubs and play dates for the triplets until late February.
So I was thrilled with the ninth-inning rally that brought Gonzo up to the plate again. And I’m not too proud to admit that I got a wee bit misty when he poked the ball over the drawn-in infield to win the game and the championship. (It was especially pleasing that one of Joe Torre’s bizarre decisions came back to bite him in the ass. If the Yankees were playing at double play depth, Gonzo’s ball is caught for the second out of the inning.)
It got even worse when they replayed Gonzo’s reaction. Hit, hustle, hustle, jump for joy. Gonzo is one of my all-time favorite Astros. I distinctly remember him throwing a ball to me before a game in 1992. The fact that I was a geeky college student and not a screaming kindergartner or a surgically enhanced blonde chick made getting that ball all the more special. Now that I’m a geeky adult, it means even more. I am so happy that at 34, he got to reach the pinnacle of the game, from both a personal and team performance perspective. Would I have preferred that he (and Curt Schilling, Randy Johnson and Steve Finley) still wore “Houston” or “Astros” across their chests? Without a doubt. But for me Gonzo is one of those guys that transcends team boundaries. Being by all accounts one of the truly good guys in the sport, no one deserved it more.
Gon-grats.
If he’s terribly wacky, he must be our new manager.
Jimy Williams was not my first choice as manager. I don’t think he’s quite the environmentally friendly (recycle now and save the planet) choice that a lot of people are making him out to be, either. That title would have gone to Jim Fregosi.
I would have preferred to see Tony Pena get a shot, for the record. I think he would have brought the ability to light a fire under some of the larger Astro Asses without alienating them.
Having said that, at least Williams will be entertaining. Not so much for his on the field stratergy or deft maneuvering with the personnel, but simply from the fact that he seems for all the world to be doing an on-going Grandpa Simpson imitation. I’ve seen some amazing things in my time, but the ability to turn a softball question like “What do you think your chances are next year?” into a monologue on staying in touch with loved ones over the holidays is simply classic. I will be disappointed if the Astros are a .500 team next season, but I’ll be even more disappointed if he can’t turn every post game moratorium into a 2000-year-old man routine. And a bad one at that.
I’d be willing to accept bets that Grandpa Williams will incorporate the following items into questions asked by the press:
- Socks
- The Great War
- Crasins
- His socks
- Capital Punishment
- Dead Horses
- The Kaiser
- Keiser Rolls
- Talking animals in motion pictures
- Carburetors
- Why his wife doesn’t wear socks
- Tex-Mex food
- The Shrimping Industry
- Onions
- Dirt, and the varieties thereof
- Fishin’ (not to be mistaken for fishing)
- 1952 Chevy Impalas
The great thing is that he’ll be doing it on purpose. And if you think there’s no reason to read John Lopez, Richard Justice, Dale Robertson or Joe Duarte, it’ll make the Chronicle worth reading again, if only to see them try to create stories out of non-answers. They might actually have to bone up on their j-school skills.
Contraction, Traction…What’s your fraction?
I don’t care if baseball contracts. It doesn’t affect me. I’ve never been to Montreal and don’t really care about the quality of life of some damn French Canadians being altered. I mean, c’mon they speak FRENCH for the deity’s sake. The same goes for Kansas City, Miami, Tampa, Anaheim and Minnesota. Hell, scrap ?em all for all I care.
I’m all for fewer teams. I’m all for someone giving me some free tickets and not having to see that they’re for the Marlins. Even if they are the problem, contraction also gets rid of at least 2 owners. It doesn’t matter to me if they’re lying about losing money, or if they’re too busy groveling corporate schlong to even bother. I just don’t care.
If it saves me the effort of having to pretend I care that the Devil Rays have some great young position players (who will never be together at the major league level long enough to win 60 games) then please can I have some more. The reality is that these teams are little more than advanced farm teams for the rest of the majors?and some of them haven’t even been doing their jobs all that well. Who was the last player that the Angels “developed” that anyone was interested in?Anyone?
Another benefit of contraction is that teams will be able top replace all of their crap players with crap players from entirely new organizations. No longer will the likes of Glenn Barker, Trever Miller or Wayne Franklin darken the Astros rosters. Instead they’ll get brand new crap like Bobby Munoz or Vic Darensbourg. Maybe they can even get lucky and corral Gary DiSarcina.
28 teams sounds good to me. (20 sounds even better, but that’s another topic all together.) 2 divisions per league sounds good too. But whatever they do, fix all the problems now and fix them for good. Shut down, relocate, change the names, shuffle owners, do whatever the hell you have to do. But take a long hard look, make decisions that are good for baseball and make the moves. I, for one, am tired of waiting.
One Last Thing Before I Go…
Dear Drayton,
Just wanted to drop you a line. It’s been a long time. I’ve read that you’re considering tweaking the uniforms again. Good call. This is surely a move that will put the team on (or even above) that next level you’ve been talking about for the last week.
If I can make a suggestion, every where you see the color black, replace it with navy. And every where you see “brick” or what I like to call “red”, replace it with orange. Likewise, Sand or Dirt or whatever should be white. You can keep the pinstripes if you want, but I think someone sold you a bill of goods when they told you that you were required to purchase a different uniform for everyday of the week. You really only need two.
You could claim to be retro, or even ultra-modern, but I think we’d like our colors back.
Good luck in the upcoming season. A well dressed team is surely one that will go far in the playoffs.
Yours truly,
Zipp