Editor’s note – This article originally appeared on AstrosConnection.com.
First of all, let me inform everyone that ripping the owner of a teats-up Major League Baseball franchise is an amazing way to get people to come out of the woodwork and write responses.
Contrary to popular belief, no threats were forthcoming from Drayton’s office. No harsh words were uttered. I stopped checking my brake lines after a couple of days. So, no, the reason I haven’t written a column has nothing to do with being tied to train tracks of any sort. I am very much alive and kicking.
The reason there hasn’t been a column in a couple of weeks is because I can’t bring myself to maintain interest in this team. Don’t get me wrong. I am a homer of the first magnitude, and I watch all the games I can’t go to in person. I read the papers, and watch the local coverage, and listen to sports talk radio, even when it’s doing nothing but plugging
websites.
But I can’t get interested in this team. Not because they’re a 7 game winning streak away from .500 but rather, because they don’t seem all that interested themselves. Watch the body language, look at the slumped shoulders… these guys look like they’re beat the second they take the field. I know it’s not easy when you’re down early in the game, like they have been most of the year. I know it’s hard when everything seems to be going against you. But dammit, act like you care.
A lot of people criticize players like Mike Hampton for going ballistic on water coolers when he’s not going well. Not classy…not dignified. I personally like to think of Kevin Brown as the Plumber. I think it funny. But, y’know, I’d rather have a couple of guys who took their performances personally rather than a player who mugs for the cameras,
announcing the next appearance of “Lima Time”, when all it seems to be is the amount time it takes for my neck to get sore trying to track the results of his pitches.
But at least Lima gets it. When one of the squawking cable channels was trying to do a juiced ball story, Lima’s only comment was, “I suck.” Now if he really starts to believe it’s him and not the park and not the balls and not the wind, and not the bucket of fried chicken he didn’t get before the game, he might have a chance to improve. After Monday’s team meeting, it looks like he’ll get his chance in the bullpen.
The whole team needs to just play ball. They have far too much talent, and far too much heart to go out like this. The problems the Astros are dealing with have nothing to do with Enron Field, juiced balls, Drayton McLane, or the price of tea in China. It has everything to do with their performance as individuals and as a team. Until they can get back whatever it is that gives each of them confidence in their ability to succeed at this level, there’s a lot of people who are going to have trouble maintaining any sort of interest level.
This Week’s Edition Of “IT’S NOT THE BALLPARK”
What do Woody Williams, Randy Wolf, Jon Lieber, Andy Ashby, and Pedro Astacio have in common? Other than being the worst rotisserie rotation in history, they have all pitched at least 7 innings at the corner of Texas and Crawford and have given up less than 3 runs. I know, I know… quality starts at Enron? Yes Virginia, there is a Hanukkah Harry.
Big Red Tub O’ Goo Report
Just because the Astros are sucking doesn’t mean I’m not going to pay attention to this damn human “before” poster. This week the “best free-agent acquisition of the offseason” had himself a very productive week. He must have because his overall average is all the way up to .225. This week, El Grande Ass posted a .300 average OVER SEVEN WHOLE DAYS to go along with 1 double, 1 homer and 2 RBIs. He also struck out 3 times and didn’t kill any living thing in the outfield. He even tied one of his shoes all by hisself, just like a big boy. A big week indeed.
Astro Of The Week
Until further notice, there will be no Astro of the week. Mainly because I’d have to give it to Chris Holt for the past week,
and that would just make me feel bad. Like my good friend Alkie (of Alkie’s Series Previews) always says, “It’s like my father told me when I was a boy… (a) don’t clean your gun in the house, and (b) if it might rain, carry an umbrella.”
DisAstro Of The Week
“Fresh today, everyday, Casa Ole.” It’s a frank, honest sentiment and if we could all live our lives with this as our mantra, maybe we could all establish a new level of suck like Jose Lima has recently. After all any press is good press. I really do still like the guy, and I hope the demotion to the bullpen gives him some time to work out his problems, but he has basically blown to such an extent that there are several hair-dryer manufacturers lining up for product endorsements. This is a good thing, since we really haven’t seen the Casa Ole spots since the ERA reached the mid 9’s.