Editor’s note – This article originally appeared on AstrosConnection.com.
I’ve always wanted to give arbitrary player grades at arbitrary points of the season.  I think it’s the right of every deity-fearing (how PC) Amer-I-Can to give capricious grades to anything and everything they can…So at 26-16 coming into Monday night’s match up against the Rockies’ (BWAHHAHAHAHA) ace Brian Bohanon, the Astros are the best team in baseball.  How are the individuals who make up our team shaping up at the Quarter Pole?  Here’s my opinion, because you all wanted to know…Read More

Editor’s note – This article originally appeared on AstrosConnection.com.
As most readers of the Houston Chronicle noticed Sunday morning, MLB beat writer Carlton Thompson ranked Ted and Jane’s Little Underachievers ahead of our beloved Stros in his entirely arbitrary weekly “Which Team Do I Love The Best?” power poll.  And of course, some of you true believers had a problem with this, based on a) The Astros have a better record than everybody in the Senior Circuit and b) The Astros aren’t part of an evil media conglomerate (as portrayed in the 1997 James Bond movie, Tomorrow Never Dies) run by a drunk inbred hillbilly and his uber-liberal, commie-lovin, womyn, Hanoi-Jane.Read More

Editor’s note – This article originally appeared on AstrosConnection.com.
I have come not to bury Chris Holt but to…no…I’ve come to hit the guy with a shovel.

First of all let me say, I have nothing against Chris Holt.  Despite the fact the guy is from Dallas (and even worse, went to Skyline High School), from all accounts, he doesn’t beat children, spit on old people or offer quaaludes to dogs. He may very well be the nicest, most patient, salt of the earth, greeting card buying (just because) guy to ever walk the face of the earth. However, you cannot deny some simple truthsRead More

Editor’s note – This article originally appeared on AstrosConnection.com.
 

Okay, I took a sabbatical…I don’t think it was necessary for Kevin and Scott to send me an AP story about Dennis Rodman being waived, but I got the hint…
Anyway as the wheels of mediocrity are slowly beginning to turn around the National League, crushing the pretenders like so many dried corn kernels whose only purpose in life is to become tortillas, we find a season beginning to take shape, and the serious players beginning to emerge.  Extrapolation from small sample size is cool…Read More

Editor’s note – This article originally appeared on AstrosConnection.com.
Sure I’m pulling a Dennis Rodman, but I’m not going to stop writing my column.
Wow one week into the season…what a surprise. The Dodgers have lived up to expectations, but who would have thought at the beginning of the year that Pittsburgh, New York and the Headcases would have won their divisions, with the Gints as the wildcard? I’ll bet heads are going to roll in Houston and Atlanta. What’s that? The season’s not over? There’s still a lot of season to be played? Get right out of town…Read More