By Craig Elliott

The Astros took two of three from the Brewers, thanks in large part to Morgan Ensberg’s HUGE FUCKING STICK. Adam Everett has turned into an RBI machine, which is not to be confused with the vending machine at first.

And the Astros will need all those bats if the goddamn bullpen keeps imitating Yvette on “Take Your Base Night.”That’s where the first 10,000 opposing players get their choice of four free sacks.

Meanwhile, the Pirates just lost a series to the Co-Ards and are already six games back in the division. However, the Wilson Sisters have been a couple of bright spots for the Roots this month. Nancy has moved to first to replace Sean Casey and got Player of the Week honors. Still has that mangy-ass beard, though. Ann already has four errors at shortstop, but four homers as well. Apparently she’s not as nimble as she once was, but still has the pop.

When:
Friday, April 21, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Saturday, April 22, 6:05 p.m. CDT – KNWS
Sunday, April 23, 1:05 p.m. CDT – FSN

MLB Extra Innings – Friday’s and Sunday’s games will be on the Fox Southwest feed. Pierogies for everyone on the Pittsburgh broadcast Saturday.

Where: MMPUS

Saturday’s giveaway is a nice mousepad with the schedule on it. John “Say My Name, Bitch” Lopez can use it to stay awake while he’s surfing that other Astros site. You know, the one where you wouldn’t be allowed to say “fuckwit Chronicle inbreeders.” For example.

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