The Astros went 4-3 on a mediocre homestand, though it included some exciting wins against the Phillies and a series win against the dumbshit Cubs. Now it’s back onto the road, believe it or not, for another long-ass trip to three cities. It’s all NL Central for the next two weeks, with visits to St. Louis, Milwaukee, and Pittsburgh, and then back home for another series with the Jakes and then the Brewers again. Whew.

(Wait! Pittsburgh? Holy shit, I thought you guys had moved to Canada or something! Is it true, I heard the Wilson Sisters may be getting back together! Tell Dirty Sanchez we said hi!)

Anyway, the shitbag Co-Ards. They’re a half-game behind the BOOK IT! Cubs, and one game ahead of the Astros. They’re just getting back to New Jake City after a West Coast trip where they won two out of three against both the Dojers and Fathers. They were late getting home because they let Albert Pujols fly the plane; he insisted on hotdogging through the Gateway Arch and crashed into one of the legs.
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