Astros @ Pirates ? April in Pittsburgh. What Could Go Wrong?

[Craig]

By Craig the Bastard

The Astros just got swept by the goddamned Cardinals and are now 1-8 on the road. Roger Clemens hasn?t given up a run in 23 innings, but the Astros have been supporting him at about the same pace. I got the feeling we could have pulled out some games in St. Louis if we?d had another bat. Or two.

The Bucs just split a pair with the Cubs. Which is to say, the Bucs and Cubs have one pair between them.


When:
Monday, April 25, 6:05 p.m. CDT ? FSSW
Tuesday, April 26, 6:05 p.m. CDT ? FSSW
Wednesday, April 27, 11:35 a.m. CDT ? FSSW

MLB Extra Innings ? Monday?s and Tuesday?s games will be on the Pittsburgh broadcast, and Wednesday?s will be on Houston.

Where: PNC Park

The forecast calls for rain and snow in Pittsburgh Monday, with a temperature around 40 degrees. Fahrenheit. So don?t be surprised if there?s no game. There?s a good chance of rain Tuesday also. The Pirates wanted to put a fucking roof on the stadium, but no one in Pittsburgh knew how to make one that didn?t have a smokestack.
 

Projected Matchups

I found conflicting sources on the pitching match-ups, so these may be wrong. Blame the Pirates.


Roy Oswalt (3-1, 3.41) v. Oliver Perez (0-2, 9.00)

As cold as it?s supposed to be today, it wouldn?t bother me one bit if Scrap Iron gave Roy and his groin the night off. Fuck it, let Luke Scott pitch.

Roy is 6-4 against the Butt Pirates with a 2.89 ERA. Bobby Hill is their meager best against Oswalt, at 3-for-7. Daryle Ward is 0-7 and the Wilson Sisters are a combined 12-for-47. None of the current Roots have homered off Roy.

Perez got bombed in his first two starts and didn?t fare much better in the next two. He?s given up 19 earned runs in 19 innings, including six homers. None of the good guys have more than 7 AB against him. Combined, the Astros have gone 10-for-43 against Perez with three homers (Bags, Bidge, Viz).


Andy Pettitte (1-1, 3.55) v. Kip Wells (1-3, 6.46)

Pettitte is 2-0 against the Pirates, with a 0.89 ERA. Current Pirates have 80 AB against Andy, and Matt Lawton has half of them. He?s only 11-for-41 though. He has two homers against Pettitte, and Ann Wilson has one.

Wells is 2-5 against the Astros. Brad Ausmus is 6-for-17 against Wells, and Biggio is 7-for-23. Bidge and Bagwell each have two homers against him, but Bags is only 3-for-18 overall. Morgan Ensberg is also 3-for-8 with 5 RBI.


Brandon Duckworth (0-1, 12.60) v. Josh Fogg (1-1, 2.45)

Brandon Duckworth sucked against the Jakes, lasting only four innings and giving up 8 ER. He?s only faced the Pirates once, and is 0-1 with a 13.50 ERA. Daryle Ward is 2-for-4 against him.

Fogg missed his last start with an inner ear infection. I was going to make a joke about the Brewers fucking him in the ear, but he lasted 7 innings against them and only gave up 2 ER. Current Astros have five homers against Fogg, but three of them came from Lance Berkman. Bagwell and Biggio each have one, but they?re also a combined 10-for-53 against Fogg. Mike Lamb is 7-for-17 against him.


Key injuries:

Pittsburgh ? Benito Santiago is on the DL with the flu. That?s what he gets for kissing Brewers. Jose Castillo is on the DL and may be back soon. Sean Burnett and John Van Benschoten are out for the season.

Houston ? Sounds like Lance Berkman will be in Round Rock soon. Roger Clemens has ordered a convoy of armed Hummers to escort Lance and his bat back to Houston as soon as possible.

Other shit

? Ricardo Rodriguez of the Braves? organization was among the latest steroid suspensions. Which is meaningful only because in 2002 he spent about two weeks with the Las Vegas 51s, including Hawaiian Luau Night. That?s where the 51s wear ugly-ass Hawaiian shirts for game jerseys and then sell them. I won the auction for Rodriguez? shirt, but it?s too big for me to wear. Figures.

? I think Adam Everett is about to step it up a notch. That 3-RBI triple against the Jakes was a beaut. And speaking of the 51s, I also saw Everett hit a homer against them, on a different Luau Night. I got an ugly shirt that night too.

? MLB.com has some pretty cool functions. For instance, you can do this:

The Link

I guess they forgot the ?Salary? category.