Astros @ stRangizz June 2, 2017

[Mr. Happy]

Your lineups for tonight's road tilt:

Astros

CFGeorge Springer (R)
RFJosh Reddick (L)
2BJose Altuve (R)
SSCarlos Correa (R)
DHCarlos Beltran (S)
CBrian McCann (L)
1BY. Gurriel (R)
3BAlex Bregman (R)
LFNorichika Aoki (L)

HOU: Dallas Keuchel (L)  (8-0, 1.81)

stRangizz

RF Shin-Soo Choo (L)
SS Elvis Andrus (R)
DH Jonathan Lucroy (R)
3B Adrian Beltre (R)
2B Rougned Odor (L)
1B Mike Napoli (R)
LF Ryan Rua (R)
C R. Chirinos (R)
CF D. DeShields Jr. (R)

TEX: Yu Darvish (R)  (5-3, 2.97)

[juliogotay]

Steady rain coming down in the Metroplex. No end in sight to it.

[das]

Steady rain coming down in the Metroplex. No end in sight to it.

Back edge looks to be an hour or so away.  Not sure how long the field takes to dry there at Globe Life.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Those dumb po'buckers are too stupid to put a roof and their solar oven.

[MRaup]

God. Fucking. Damnit.

Turned on at game time just in time to see creepy ass Bart Ennis yapping about who knows what.

[das]

Back edge looks to be an hour or so away.  Not sure how long the field takes to dry there at Globe Life.

Maybe 45-50 minutes instead of an hour.

Most of the heaviest rain (4"+) has fallen well NE of the stadium.  Around 1.5" has fallen at the stadium with another 0.25" to go.  I wonder if they'll be able to deal with that.

[MusicMan]

God. Fucking. Damnit.

I like to picture you as Hades from "Hercules" every time you say this.

[Tom Servo]

God. Fucking. Damnit.

Turned on at game time just in time to see creepy ass Bart Ennis yapping about who knows what.

Careful, he watches when you're sleeping.

[MRaup]

Careful, he watches when you're sleeping.

I'm well aware. I woke up in the middle of the night the other night to take a leak, and he told me all about what a great ballplayer James Mouton was.

[Reuben]

I'm well aware. I woke up in the middle of the night the other night to take a leak, and he told me all about what a great ballplayer James Mouton was.

Was he even better than Gerald Young?

[MRaup]

Was he even better than Gerald Young?

We were just getting to Glenn Barker when I fell back asleep.

[MRaup]

I like to picture you as Hades from "Hercules" every time you say this.

You know, if this is the worst people picture me, I can live with it.

[MRaup]

Looked like the grounds crew are about to remove the tarp.

[MRaup]

This is fucking torture. I can only take some much Kevin Eschenfelder a week. I'm WAY over my allotment.

[hostros7]

Game is scheduled to start at 9:10 pm. That's so many beers from now.


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[austro]

Game is scheduled to start at 9:10 pm. That's so many beers from now.

Shit. I have to get up at 6:00 tomorrow, doubt that I'll see the end of this one.

[Nate Colbert]

Coogs vs Iowa on ESPNU and UCLA vs Horns on ESPN2 in NCAA Regionals play if you're looking for some alternative baseball for the next hour.

[MRaup]

Game is scheduled to start at 9:10 pm. That's so many beers from now.


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Why WHY WHY did I buy Unfiltered Sculpin as my sippin' 6er tonight?

[hostros7]

Why WHY WHY did I buy Unfiltered Sculpin as my sippin' 6er tonight?

That's a nice selection. I started off with a few Dogfish Head flesh & blood, which I hadn't tried before but have since transitioned to Reissdorf, my tallboy volume beer of choice.


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[WVastro]

Why WHY WHY did I buy Unfiltered Sculpin as my sippin' 6er tonight?

Just had some of that today on draft. Very good stuff.

[MRaup]

Just had some of that today on draft. Very good stuff.

It's fantastic, but not a good "crush all 5 of the 6 pack you have left" beers.

[WVastro]

It's fantastic, but not a good "crush all 5 of the 6 pack you have left" beers.

That's what neighborhood bars are for.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

God. Fucking. Damnit.

Turned on at game time just in time to see creepy ass Bart Ennis yapping about who knows what.

I never realized just how creepy he was 'til you mentioned it. Now I look at him and get the heebee jeebees. Thanks, Mark.

[hostros7]

Coogs vs Iowa on ESPNU and UCLA vs Horns on ESPN2 in NCAA Regionals play if you're looking for some alternative baseball for the next hour.

The baseball team is continuing the time honored UH tradition of underperforming in key moments.


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[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Who the fuck is Graham Binsinger?

[NeilT]

We just spent three great days in Memphis. Now we're in northern Arkansas to fish. In Northern Arkansas, Rolling Rock is a craft beer. Stay away.


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[hostros7]

Re: the UH game, that "swipe tag" called by the ump that missed by 4 feet is embarrassing for a four man umpiring crew.


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[MRaup]

I never realized just how creepy he was 'til you mentioned it. Now I look at him and get the heebee jeebees. Thanks, Mark.

I've been drunkenly shouting about that shit for weeks! He's SO CREEPY!

[austro]

I've been drunkenly shouting about that shit for weeks! He's SO CREEPY!

Would you like some candy, little boy?  No? How about  a sculpin? I thought so!

[MRaup]

Would you like some candy, little boy?  No? How about  a sculpin? I thought so!

I regret not drinking the last one already now, jerk.

Also, I have this horrible sinking feeling this series is going to go terribly for the Astros.

Everything lines up perfectly, which scares the shit out of me.

[austro]

Well, that timing was convenient, even if the result wasn't. Marist was trailing Florida by a single run in the bottom of the 8th, and I was hoping to pin another loss on an SEC team, but they just coughed up a 3-run jack that makes the result pretty predictable. So now it's time to watch some 'Stros.

[hostros7]

Also, I have this horrible sinking feeling this series is going to go terribly for the Astros.

Everything lines up perfectly, which scares the shit out of me.

Keuchel has historically been average in Arlington.


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[hostros7]

Now we're in northern Arkansas to fish. In Northern Arkansas, Rolling Rock is a craft beer. Stay away.


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Are you sitting in a wash basin and listening on a transistor radio?


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[MRaup]

Springer leading off for the Astros. Rangers fans sound like this is game one of the World Goddamn Series. Fucking Necks.
Springer works the count to 2-2. Foul. foul. 6 pitches already.
(I'll do pbp for as long as my brain will let me)
pop to shallow right, Choo hauls it in for out 1.

[austro]

Damn, Darvish hung a couple there that George wasn't able to capitalize on.

[chuck]

The infield at least is as dry as Bannister's bearded cock pocket.

[austro]

Haha, fuck you Rangers, no no-hitter for you tonight.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Nice job by Altuve.

[chuck]

Are you sitting in a wash basin and listening on a transistor radio?

Nah, hell no, not Neil. He's staying at a fancy BnB. You know, the sort of place that puts two tablets of oxycodone on each pillow as a part of their turn-down service.

[NeilT]

Are you sitting in a wash basin and listening on a transistor radio?


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No, but I am eating dinner at a place where Co-ardinals shit is a decorative motif.


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[MRaup]

Reddick (to a fair number of WOOs) 0-1, 1-1,  doinks one behind short. Andrus hauls it in without having to move much.
Altuve 0-1, 0-2 on a foul grounder, check foul, still 0-2. slaps a low slider over Andrus in to right center for a solid single. Runner on 1st and 2 outs for...
Correa 1-0 low and out, off the plate 2-0. Fouls off a meatball, 2-1. Swings and misses (definitely a strike), Altuve steals 2nd. 2-2 pitch, low ball 3. Full count for Correa with Altuve on 2nd, chopped foul. Darvish hangs a spinning slider up and in, Correa swings and misses. Whiffed on a meatball.

Mid 1. 0-0.

Springer leading off for the Astros. Rangers fans sound like this is game one of the World Goddamn Series. Fucking Necks.
Springer works the count to 2-2. Foul. foul. 6 pitches already.
(I'll do pbp for as long as my brain will let me)
pop to shallow right, Choo hauls it in for out 1.

[chuck]

No, but I am eating dinner at a place where Co-ardinals shit is a decorative motif.

It's been a dog's age since I've been to a Cracker Barrel.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Nah, hell no, not Neil. He's staying at a fancy BnB. You know, the sort of place that puts two tablets of oxycodone on each pillow as a part of their turn-down service.

So he's in Hot Springs.

[doyce7]

Dallas wasn't exactly sharp that inning but the results were good

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[MRaup]

Bottom 1

Leadoff Fuckstick (Choo) 4-3 on the first pitch. 1 out.
Second Fuckstick (Andrus) 1-0. 2-0 on a pretty decent looking pitch. Right down whatever shitstreet is Main in Arlington, 2-1. 4-3 on a slappy grounder. 2 outs.
Third Fuckstick (Lucroy) 1-0, low 2-0, strike 1, 2-1,  low 3-1, fouled off 3-2, chopped over the mound, Keuchel jumps and can't make the play, Altuve 4-3. Two records tied that inning.

End 1, 0-0.

Reddick (to a fair number of WOOs) 0-1, 1-1,  doinks one behind short. Andrus hauls it in without having to move much.
Altuve 0-1, 0-2 on a foul grounder, check foul, still 0-2. slaps a low slider over Andrus in to right center for a solid single. Runner on 1st and 2 outs for...
Correa 1-0 low and out, off the plate 2-0. Fouls off a meatball, 2-1. Swings and misses (definitely a strike), Altuve steals 2nd. 2-2 pitch, low ball 3. Full count for Correa with Altuve on 2nd, chopped foul. Darvish hangs a spinning slider up and in, Correa swings and misses. Whiffed on a meatball.

Mid 1. 0-0.

[NeilT]

So he's in Hot Springs.

Heber Springs. I'm pretty sure there's a meth lab pert near.


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[MrKnuckleball]

Did McCann really just steal?

[hostros7]

McCann steals second?


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[doyce7]

Did I just see McCann steal a bag? Seriously?

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[hostros7]

Heber Springs. I'm pretty sure there's a meth lab pert near.


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I've heard the fishing around there is top notch. And if you're on meth you can fish all day without a break.


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[doyce7]

Yu darvish is all over the place. Guys need to be patient

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[austro]

Yu darvish is all over the place. Guys need to be patient

He's hung several. They need to punish him.

[MRaup]

Top 2

Beltran takes a meaty strike 1, low ball 1, fouled off strike 2, fucked by the 3rd base umpire on a check swing strike 3. Questionable at best. 1 out.
McCann (looking for his first hit since coming off the concussion DL) takes strike 1. Takes strike 2. Curve ball bounces off McCann's back foot, he takes his base. 1 out, runner on first for...
Yuli up and in, ball 1. La Pina on full display for a minute. Chopped foul, 1-1. Kalas drawing nebulous comparisons to the pitch behind Napoli. Fouls off strike 2. Smoked right at Beltre for an out. McCann back to 1st. Darvish is hanging a LOT of pitches early.
Bregman takes a ball slightly up, 1-0. McCann on the move?! Bregman takes a spinning slider, McCann safe by a LOT at 2nd. 1-1 runner on 2nd.  just outside 2-1. 30-31 safe attempts on Darvish since last year. And the one was a terrible overslide. Chirinos out to talk it over with Yu. Darvish misses horribly but the cocksmoke home plate ump calls a strike on a ball up and in. 2-2. Darvish misses again, off Chirinos shinguard but not too far away to take 3rd, 3-2. Another hanger, Bregman fouls it off. SMOKE ONE OF THESE SHIT SLIDERS, DAMNIT! ANOTHER hanging slider, long fly to center, DeShields under it at the track.


Mid 2  0-0

Bottom 1

Leadoff Fuckstick (Choo) 4-3 on the first pitch. 1 out.
Second Fuckstick (Andrus) 1-0. 2-0 on a pretty decent looking pitch. Right down whatever shitstreet is Main in Arlington, 2-1. 4-3 on a slappy grounder. 2 outs.
Third Fuckstick (Lucroy) 1-0, low 2-0, strike 1, 2-1,  low 3-1, fouled off 3-2, chopped over the mound, Keuchel jumps and can't make the play, Altuve 4-3. Two records tied that inning.

End 1, 0-0.

[MRaup]

He's hung several. They need to punish him.

FOUR meatball sliders. 0 good contact.

[chuck]

I've heard the fishing around there is top notch. And if you're on meth you can fish all day without a break.

Or go the Hank Hill route and use the meth as bait.

[hostros7]

Oh fuck, we have to see angel Hernandez as HPU at some point this series?


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[austro]

Come on, Bregman, straighten those out.

[austro]

Oh fuck, we have to see angel Hernandez as HPU at some point this series?

Three game series, four umps, we've got a chance of missing him.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

If Yuli didn't make contact, he sure as hell sold it well with his arm movement.

[MRaup]

Fuckstick 4 (Beltre) 1-0, 1-1, easy bouncer 5-3. 1 out.
Fuckstuck 5 (fuckstick 5), 1-0, strike one called a ball 2-0, 2-1 on the outside corner (same fucking pitch), slaps one at Bregman, 5-3... Bregman's throw off the bag, Yuli off the bag and swipes, looks like he makes the tag, called safe by Angel Hernandez. Replay shows he's out on the swipe by Yuli. Reviewing now. Called out after a VERY fast review/good play by Yuli. 2 outs. Imagine that, Angel Hernandez missed a call.
Fuckstick 6 (Napoli) ball one just outside, bounces 2-0, low, 3-0. Right on the inside corner, called ball 4. Wow.
Fuckstick 7 (Ruz) with a runner on first, 2 outs. Up, ball one. Drinking my last Sculpin right now. I'm out of cold beer after this. Rua softly lines behind 3rd, Bregman back and makes the play.

End 2, 0-0.

Top 2

Beltran takes a meaty strike 1, low ball 1, fouled off strike 2, fucked by the 3rd base umpire on a check swing strike 3. Questionable at best. 1 out.
McCann (looking for his first hit since coming off the concussion DL) takes strike 1. Takes strike 2. Curve ball bounces off McCann's back foot, he takes his base. 1 out, runner on first for...
Yuli up and in, ball 1. La Pina on full display for a minute. Chopped foul, 1-1. Kalas drawing nebulous comparisons to the pitch behind Napoli. Fouls off strike 2. Smoked right at Beltre for an out. McCann back to 1st. Darvish is hanging a LOT of pitches early.
Bregman takes a ball slightly up, 1-0. McCann on the move?! Bregman takes a spinning slider, McCann safe by a LOT at 2nd. 1-1 runner on 2nd.  just outside 2-1. 30-31 safe attempts on Darvish since last year. And the one was a terrible overslide. Chirinos out to talk it over with Yu. Darvish misses horribly but the cocksmoke home plate ump calls a strike on a ball up and in. 2-2. Darvish misses again, off Chirinos shinguard but not too far away to take 3rd, 3-2. Another hanger, Bregman fouls it off. SMOKE ONE OF THESE SHIT SLIDERS, DAMNIT! ANOTHER hanging slider, long fly to center, DeShields under it at the track.


Mid 2  0-0

[MrKnuckleball]

This ump is a serious slapdick

[austro]

This ump is a serious slapdick

He's back there flipping a coin.

[chuck]

Three game series, four umps, we've got a chance of missing him.

HPU tomorrow.

[austro]

HPU tomorrow.

I'm sure he'll have no trouble following LMJ's curve.

[NeilT]

The world-record brown trout was caught here, and it's actually a lovely little town, but I still bet there's a meth lab for every 500 residents.


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[chuck]

The world-record brown trout was caught here, and it's actually a lovely little town, but I still bet there's a meth lab for every 500 residents.

If you ever get to ponderin' why there are so many plastic milk containers scattered about, well, it's not just that the locals have a powerful thirst for lactose products.

[austro]

Coin came up "strike" that time.

[hostros7]

The world-record brown trout was caught here, and it's actually a lovely little town, but I still bet there's a meth lab for every 500 residents.


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It counts if it's caught with dynamite and a trucker hat?


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[hostros7]

TERRIBLE CALL


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[doyce7]

What the fuck was that call!? Jesus fucking Christ. Greg maddux thinks that's a ball

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[NeilT]

It counts if it's caught with dynamite and a trucker hat?


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For Co-Ardinals fans?  It counts double.


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[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

HPU needs a new fucking coin.

[austro]

What fucking joke of a call. He'd better give that shit to Keuchel too.

[MusicMan]

You gotta love a HPU who deliberately shows up the hitter while missing the call by a mile.

And by "love", I mean "kick in the nuts."


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[chuck]

For Co-Ardinals fans?  It counts double.

It is a brown trout, after all.

[MRaup]

Top 3


Aoki (0-3, K) leads off against Darvish, Yu cooked for Aoki last night, cooked him a steak for dinner. Takes strike 1. Bounced ball 1, 1-1. Swings over a good slider, 1-2. Foul chop. Slaps one down the line in left, easy play for Rua as it hangs up. 1 out.
Springer (Currently 5-13 against Darvish), check swing, did he go? YES! 1-0. takes strike 1, 1-1. Fouled off, 1-2.  Dribbled down 3rd, Beltre eats it knowing he can't throw Springer out. Single for Springer, 1 on, 1 out for...
Reddick...pickoff attempt, safe. Again, safe. Big grin for Springer. Low, ball 1, 1-0. Pickoff again, safe. LOTS of WOOs. Ball... JESUS CHRIST, that was SO outside, strike 1. Chirinos did a horrible job framing, but still called. 1-1. Smoked foul, 1-2. Big lead for Springer, fouled off again. Another foul. 53 pitches for Yu. Ball 2 bounces, 2-2. WAY inside, wild pitch! Springer to second! Full count on a bouncy ass slider.  Reddick takes ball 4 WAY off the plate called strike 3. Jesus Christ, that was HORRIBLE. Ted Barrett needs to check his prescription. 2 outs.  That ball was  6 inches off the plate at least.
Altuve takes ball 1, low. Ball 2. Closer than the strike 3 pitch, called ball 3. Missed badly, walked. First and 2nd, 2 outs for...
Correa takes strike 1 on the outside corner. Darvish over 60 pitches in the 3rd. Get to that bullpen, boys! Fastball right down the pipe, strike 2. Doesn't get better than that. 0-2, swing and a miss, PUTRID at bat for Correa. Jesus Fucking Christ, WAKE UP.

Mid 3, 0-0.

Fuckstick 4 (Beltre) 1-0, 1-1, easy bouncer 5-3. 1 out.
Fuckstuck 5 (fuckstick 5), 1-0, strike one called a ball 2-0, 2-1 on the outside corner (same fucking pitch), slaps one at Bregman, 5-3... Bregman's throw off the bag, Yuli off the bag and swipes, looks like he makes the tag, called safe by Angel Hernandez. Replay shows he's out on the swipe by Yuli. Reviewing now. Called out after a VERY fast review/good play by Yuli. 2 outs. Imagine that, Angel Hernandez missed a call.
Fuckstick 6 (Napoli) ball one just outside, bounces 2-0, low, 3-0. Right on the inside corner, called ball 4. Wow.
Fuckstick 7 (Ruz) with a runner on first, 2 outs. Up, ball one. Drinking my last Sculpin right now. I'm out of cold beer after this. Rua softly lines behind 3rd, Bregman back and makes the play.

End 2, 0-0.

[MRaup]

Top 3

Fuckstick 8 grounds out 6-3.
Fuckstick 9 (DeShields) PONCHE! on a buried slider 2 outs.
Fuckstick 1 (Choo) takes a ball, takes a strike, takes a ball. 2-1. Swings over strike 2. 2-2. Just low, 3-2. Fouled off. SWING ANNA MISS on a low slider, PONCHE!

End 3, 0-0.
 

Aoki (0-3, K) leads off against Darvish, Yu cooked for Aoki last night, cooked him a steak for dinner. Takes strike 1. Bounced ball 1, 1-1. Swings over a good slider, 1-2. Foul chop. Slaps one down the line in left, easy play for Rua as it hangs up. 1 out.
Springer (Currently 5-13 against Darvish), check swing, did he go? YES! 1-0. takes strike 1, 1-1. Fouled off, 1-2.  Dribbled down 3rd, Beltre eats it knowing he can't throw Springer out. Single for Springer, 1 on, 1 out for...
Reddick...pickoff attempt, safe. Again, safe. Big grin for Springer. Low, ball 1, 1-0. Pickoff again, safe. LOTS of WOOs. Ball... JESUS CHRIST, that was SO outside, strike 1. Chirinos did a horrible job framing, but still called. 1-1. Smoked foul, 1-2. Big lead for Springer, fouled off again. Another foul. 53 pitches for Yu. Ball 2 bounces, 2-2. WAY inside, wild pitch! Springer to second! Full count on a bouncy ass slider.  Reddick takes ball 4 WAY off the plate called strike 3. Jesus Christ, that was HORRIBLE. Ted Barrett needs to check his prescription. 2 outs.  That ball was  6 inches off the plate at least.
Altuve takes ball 1, low. Ball 2. Closer than the strike 3 pitch, called ball 3. Missed badly, walked. First and 2nd, 2 outs for...
Correa takes strike 1 on the outside corner. Darvish over 60 pitches in the 3rd. Get to that bullpen, boys! Fastball right down the pipe, strike 2. Doesn't get better than that. 0-2, swing and a miss, PUTRID at bat for Correa. Jesus Fucking Christ, WAKE UP.

Mid 3, 0-0.

[austro]

I figure another inning or two of Darvish, and then the fun really starts.

[doyce7]

McCann is feeling it

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[doyce7]

Dragging that trailer with 2 flat tires just as fast as he can

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[chuck]

I'll give $100 to charity if McCann steals thid here.

[doyce7]

I'll give $100 to charity if McCann steals thid here.

Tell her I said hi

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[MRaup]

Top 4

Astros made an out to start while I was foraging for beer.
McCann slaps one in the LC gap, and legs out a 1 out double.
Gurriel takes ball 1 outside. Strike on the knees, 1-1. Up and in, 2-1. I've got some ABW stuff in the freezer to make it through the rest of the game. Takes a meat breaking ball, 2-2. Darvish is not sharp. Called 3rd strike right down the pipe on ANOTHER meatball heater. 2 outs, runner on 2nd.
Bregman takes a meaty slider at the belt, strike 1. Darvish is throwing SO MANY hittable pitches. Swings through belt high heat, 0-2. Low and out, 1-2. Way out, 2-2. Swings at a fastball around his fucking face. Terrible swing.

Mid 4.

[hostros7]

Astros seem not to be picking up the hanging breaking ball very well.


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[austro]

As good a job as Bregman did laying off of that low slider, he did a shitty job chasing that high fastball.

[MRaup]

Dear Astros Producers, your commericals are FUCKING HORRIBLE.

These fucking polesmokes you interviewed are SO GODDAMN BAD.

[MRaup]

Astros seem not to be picking up the hanging breaking ball very well.


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So. Fucking. Much. This.

[doyce7]

My buddy on McCann

"he's like grease lightning without the lightning. So just the grease......chubs"

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[NeilT]

So I feel a strong need to continue what I was doing, which was talking about brown trout. There are lots of different kinds of trout: golden, cutthroat, brook, rainbow being the best known other than brown.


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[doyce7]

That was... odd

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[chuck]

So I feel a strong need to continue what I was doing, which was talking about brown trout. There are lots of different kinds of trout: golden, cutthroat, brook, rainbow being the best known other than brown.

How many are in the waters there and which are native?

Great way to lose a nono.

[MRaup]

Bottom 4

Fuckstick 2 (Andrus) get over slider, strike 1. Just misses inside, way better pitch than Reddick strike 3, 1-1. Slaps just foul down the 3rd base line. Bregman makes a nice play and throw, foul ball. Looked like a good call just barely. 1-2 the count. Jesus Christ. WAY better pitch than Darvish's terrible calls, 2-2. STRIKE 3 on the curve on the outside corner. 1 out.
Fuckstick 3 (Lucroy) strike 1, get head fastball. Curve looked good, apparently just low. 1-1. same pitch, ball 2. Fouled off a meaty slider, 2-2. Up and in, 3-2. Chopper to Yuli, 3U. 2 outs.
Fuckstick 4 (Beltre) (Keuchel at 49 pitches) takes ball one, out. slider-y looking thing, strike 1. Slashed foul down the 3rd base line, WAY foul. 1-2. low and away, 2-2. Slaps a popup down the right field line, and Reddick over runs it? Jesus, fucking horrible. Beltre cruises in to second with an easy double after a shit play.

Fuckstick 5 (Fuckstick Prime) slapped foul, 0-1. Just inside, ball 1. 1-1, foul slap at the plate, 1-2. 57 pitches for Keuchel. SWING AND A MISS, 1-3 on the bounce. Inning over.


End 4.

Top 4

Astros made an out to start while I was foraging for beer.
McCann slaps one in the LC gap, and legs out a 1 out double.
Gurriel takes ball 1 outside. Strike on the knees, 1-1. Up and in, 2-1. I've got some ABW stuff in the freezer to make it through the rest of the game. Takes a meat breaking ball, 2-2. Darvish is not sharp. Called 3rd strike right down the pipe on ANOTHER meatball heater. 2 outs, runner on 2nd.
Bregman takes a meaty slider at the belt, strike 1. Darvish is throwing SO MANY hittable pitches. Swings through belt high heat, 0-2. Low and out, 1-2. Way out, 2-2. Swings at a fastball around his fucking face. Terrible swing.

Mid 4.

[AstroNut]

WTF Reddick ?

[NeilT]

How many are in the waters there and which are native?

Great way to lose a nono.

The BBGs are mighty fickle. I thought I could keep it going by posting about brown trout. I guess that was just a different hubris.


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[MrKnuckleball]

What the actual fuck was that? Another horrible call.

[doyce7]

What the actual fuck was that? Another horrible call.

This umpire loves him some yu

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[MrKnuckleball]

This umpire loves him some yu

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He probably loves cream of some YUng guy too.

[NeilT]

Brown trout are also known a German trout. Robert Schumann's trout quintet is certainly written about brown trout.


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[homer]

Correa is killing this team

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Carlos!!!!!!!!!

[MRaup]

Top 5... STOP MISSING MEATBALLS.

Aoki ball 1, outside. Smashes one at the big eared fucking cocksmoke, 4-3. 1 out. If Odor took a line drive off the noggin and never played again, I wouldn't complain.
Springer pops one foul in the seats. 0-1. Misses wildly on a big swing, 0-2. JUST missed off the corner, 1-2. Takes ball 2, up and in, called strike 3. that was not a strike. Ted Barrett is having a rough game back there. 2 outs.
Reddick takes a meatball down the middle, 0-1. Quick peek at a constipated Banny wearing a jacket for no reason in the dugout. Ball 1. Fouled back another meaty fastball, 1-2. Darvish is just hanging shit all over the place, Astros aren't doing shit with them. Bounced, ball 2. Curve missed badly, 3-2. No chance Reddick takes a close one here. Darvish at 88 pitches. Belt high meatball fouled off. Another foul on a low curve. Meaty fastball slashed up the middle, single.  2 outs, runner on 1st.
Altuve (hitting .430 on the road this season) smoked past a diving Andrus (who was playing in the right place, but still couldn't make a play), Reddick to 3rd. 2nd and 3rd 2 outs for...
Correa ball 1 2 out, takes strike 1, 1-1. SMOKED TO LEFT CENTER, RUA BACK! FUCKING GONE!!!!!! 3-0 ASTROS!

Bottom 4

Fuckstick 2 (Andrus) get over slider, strike 1. Just misses inside, way better pitch than Reddick strike 3, 1-1. Slaps just foul down the 3rd base line. Bregman makes a nice play and throw, foul ball. Looked like a good call just barely. 1-2 the count. Jesus Christ. WAY better pitch than Darvish's terrible calls, 2-2. STRIKE 3 on the curve on the outside corner. 1 out.
Fuckstick 3 (Lucroy) strike 1, get head fastball. Curve looked good, apparently just low. 1-1. same pitch, ball 2. Fouled off a meaty slider, 2-2. Up and in, 3-2. Chopper to Yuli, 3U. 2 outs.
Fuckstick 4 (Beltre) (Keuchel at 49 pitches) takes ball one, out. slider-y looking thing, strike 1. Slashed foul down the 3rd base line, WAY foul. 1-2. low and away, 2-2. Slaps a popup down the right field line, and Reddick over runs it? Jesus, fucking horrible. Beltre cruises in to second with an easy double after a shit play.

Fuckstick 5 (Fuckstick Prime) slapped foul, 0-1. Just inside, ball 1. 1-1, foul slap at the plate, 1-2. 57 pitches for Keuchel. SWING AND A MISS, 1-3 on the bounce. Inning over.


End 4.

[MusicMan]

Quick, call the Twins and see if they'll take Correa and LMJ for Buxton.


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[chuck]

$100 if Beltran steals second here.

[MRaup]

Beltran takes ball one. SLASHES one back up the middle for a 2 out hit. Runner on 1st, 2 outs.
McCann outside, ball 1. Ball 2. Low, ball 3. Knee high strike, 3-1. Swung through, 3-2. Friendly reminder Correa is only 22 from Blummer. Swing and a miss, strike 3. But the Astros do some fucking damage, 3-0 Good Guys Mid 5.

Top 5... STOP MISSING MEATBALLS.

Aoki ball 1, outside. Smashes one at the big eared fucking cocksmoke, 4-3. 1 out. If Odor took a line drive off the noggin and never played again, I wouldn't complain.
Springer pops one foul in the seats. 0-1. Misses wildly on a big swing, 0-2. JUST missed off the corner, 1-2. Takes ball 2, up and in, called strike 3. that was not a strike. Ted Barrett is having a rough game back there. 2 outs.
Reddick takes a meatball down the middle, 0-1. Quick peek at a constipated Banny wearing a jacket for no reason in the dugout. Ball 1. Fouled back another meaty fastball, 1-2. Darvish is just hanging shit all over the place, Astros aren't doing shit with them. Bounced, ball 2. Curve missed badly, 3-2. No chance Reddick takes a close one here. Darvish at 88 pitches. Belt high meatball fouled off. Another foul on a low curve. Meaty fastball slashed up the middle, single.  2 outs, runner on 1st.
Altuve (hitting .430 on the road this season) smoked past a diving Andrus (who was playing in the right place, but still couldn't make a play), Reddick to 3rd. 2nd and 3rd 2 outs for...
Correa ball 1 2 out, takes strike 1, 1-1. SMOKED TO LEFT CENTER, RUA BACK! FUCKING GONE!!!!!! 3-0 ASTROS!

[NeilT]

There are two trout introduced into Arkansas tailwaters, the brown and the rainbow.


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[chuck]

There are two trout introduced into Arkansas tailwaters, the brown and the rainbow.

Are smallmouth bass native?

[MRaup]

Bottom 5

If you need a reason to stop smoking cigarettes, my disgusting roommates are all you need. They're both late 20s, early 30s, and they sound like a fucking TB Ward most nights/mornings.

Napoli called strike, fouled back. 0-2. Keuchel at 60 pitches. outside. Lazy fly, 8U. 1 out.
Rua ball 1, strike 1, strike 2, PONCHE! 2 outs.
Whatever shitfuck Ranger is up next pops out to left, Aoki comes in and makes the play. End 5.

Beltran takes ball one. SLASHES one back up the middle for a 2 out hit. Runner on 1st, 2 outs.
McCann outside, ball 1. Ball 2. Low, ball 3. Knee high strike, 3-1. Swung through, 3-2. Friendly reminder Correa is only 22 from Blummer. Swing and a miss, strike 3. But the Astros do some fucking damage, 3-0 Good Guys Mid 5.

[MRaup]

Bottom 5

If you need a reason to stop smoking cigarettes, my disgusting roommates are all you need. They're both late 20s, early 30s, and they sound like a fucking TB Ward most nights/mornings.

Napoli called strike, fouled back. 0-2. Keuchel at 60 pitches. outside. Lazy fly, 8U. 1 out.
Rua ball 1, strike 1, strike 2, PONCHE! 2 outs.
Whatever shitfuck Ranger is up next pops out to left, Aoki comes in and makes the play. End 5.

[NeilT]

Are smallmouth bass native?

I suspect so. The native bass in Texas is the Guadalupe bass, which Cabeza De Vaca called a trout. It's a lovely fish, tiny and perfect.


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[MRaup]

Top 6

Darvish is done, Dillon Gee in. He's pitched 2.2 MLB innings and given up nothing.
Gurriel strike one up, that is STILL not a strike. Chopped up the middle, Elvis 6-3, gets him by half a step. 1 out.
Bregman takes strike 1, fouls off strike 2. 5-3 grounder. 2 outs.
Aoki ball 1. questionable strike 1.  Ball 2. fouled off. 2-2. Up and out, 3-2. Up and in, ball 4. Runner on 1st.
Springy Dingy up, outside, ball 1. Just low and out, 2-0. pickoff, safe by a mile. Up, and in. 3-0. Letter high strike, 3-1. Fouled off ball 4, 3-2. Aoki moving, swing a a miss on a shit breaking ball.

3-0 Astros, mid 6.

[chuck]

I suspect so. The native bass in Texas is the Guadalupe bass, which Cabeza De Vaca called a trout. It's a lovely fish, tiny and perfect.

I keep asking because I don't know shit about freshwater fish - what's native, what's been introduced.

[juliogotay]

Heber Springs. I'm pretty sure there's a meth lab pert near.


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Fishing at Greer's Ferry I assume. Be very careful going through Damascus toward Little Rock. Speed trap of epic proportions.

[NeilT]

I keep asking because I don't know shit about freshwater fish - what's native, what's been introduced.

When to build a damn, you release water from the bottom of the lake which is both cold and constant. You end up wit great cold water fisheries where they shouldn't be. All of those trout streams are introduced.


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[MRaup]

Bottom 6

DeShields takes strike 1. Slapped foul, 0-2. Swings over a slider/curve on/off the inside corner, 1 out.
Choo takes a get over fastish-ball. Breaker just outside, 1-1. Over a slider, 1-2. Slidepiece right on the knees, PONCHE looking! 2 outs.
Andrus yanks a long rip way foul, 0-1. Slashes one past a lunging Gurriel to right for a single.
Lucroy (the DH) up, 2 outs and a runner on 1st. Slashes the first pitch he seeings for a single to right. 2 outs, 1st and 2nd.
Beltre outside, ball 1. I play softball with a fat, terrible Beltre look-alike. He's such a cocky piece of shit. Ball 2, curve low. Bounced another breaker, 3-0. The Astros/Keuchel want no part of Beltre. Strike 1 called a ball, better than the pitch Reddick got called out on. Bases loaded, Fuckstick coming up.
Fuckstick up, takes strike 1. Bounced a ball. 1-1. fouled off a breaker, 1-2. Fouled off barely. Again.  Bounced. 2-2. 86 pitches for Keuchel. Roller to Gurriel, 3U!

End 6, 3-0 Good Guys!

Top 6

Darvish is done, Dillon Gee in. He's pitched 2.2 MLB innings and given up nothing.
Gurriel strike one up, that is STILL not a strike. Chopped up the middle, Elvis 6-3, gets him by half a step. 1 out.
Bregman takes strike 1, fouls off strike 2. 5-3 grounder. 2 outs.
Aoki ball 1. questionable strike 1.  Ball 2. fouled off. 2-2. Up and out, 3-2. Up and in, ball 4. Runner on 1st.
Springy Dingy up, outside, ball 1. Just low and out, 2-0. pickoff, safe by a mile. Up, and in. 3-0. Letter high strike, 3-1. Fouled off ball 4, 3-2. Aoki moving, swing a a miss on a shit breaking ball.

3-0 Astros, mid 6.

[hostros7]

Keuchel kept pissant off balance that entire AB.


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[juliogotay]

The world-record brown trout was caught here, and it's actually a lovely little town, but I still bet there's a meth lab for every 500 residents.


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My brother-in-law has caught a lot of trout there. They live in one of those houses facing the lake. Don't think they run a meth lab but some of the neighbor houses look a little ominous.

[NeilT]

When to build a damn, you release water from the bottom of the lake which is both cold and constant. You end up wit great cold water fisheries where they shouldn't be. All of those trout streams are introduced.


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Damn? Dam. Damn.


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[JimR]

Just had some of that today on draft. Very good stuff.

Drinking it tonight too

[NeilT]

I keep asking because I don't know shit about freshwater fish - what's native, what's been introduced.

The great tropical freshwater fish is the peacock bass. It's not a bass, butnitnis in Panama.


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Eta: but it is.

[MRaup]

Top 7

WOOick takes strike 1. ball 1. foul again. 1-2.  Smack down the line, Napoli makes a lucky ass play, 3-1. 1 out.
Altuve  6-3. 2 outs.
Correa up, ball one. Grounds 6-3.

Mid 7, Astros up 3-0.

Bottom 6

DeShields takes strike 1. Slapped foul, 0-2. Swings over a slider/curve on/off the inside corner, 1 out.
Choo takes a get over fastish-ball. Breaker just outside, 1-1. Over a slider, 1-2. Slidepiece right on the knees, PONCHE looking! 2 outs.
Andrus yanks a long rip way foul, 0-1. Slashes one past a lunging Gurriel to right for a single.
Lucroy (the DH) up, 2 outs and a runner on 1st. Slashes the first pitch he seeings for a single to right. 2 outs, 1st and 2nd.
Beltre outside, ball 1. I play softball with a fat, terrible Beltre look-alike. He's such a cocky piece of shit. Ball 2, curve low. Bounced another breaker, 3-0. The Astros/Keuchel want no part of Beltre. Strike 1 called a ball, better than the pitch Reddick got called out on. Bases loaded, Fuckstick coming up.
Fuckstick up, takes strike 1. Bounced a ball. 1-1. fouled off a breaker, 1-2. Fouled off barely. Again.  Bounced. 2-2. 86 pitches for Keuchel. Roller to Gurriel, 3U!

End 6, 3-0 Good Guys!

[Knoxbanedoodle]

I don't know about you folks, but I am crying into my fucking shoes about commercials popping up on MLB.tv streaming.

[hostros7]

I don't know what chorinos's walk up music is, but let's just say I wouldn't even abide him DJ'ing my second cousin's niece's quincinera, if I was Hispanic and such an event were in the works.


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[MRaup]

Mid 7

Devo in to relieve Dallas.
86 pitches ends Keuchel's night.
Napoli fouls off strike 1.
Marisnik in to play left field for Aoki.
Strike 2.
Breaking ball right down the pipe taken for strike 3! One out! Nap couldn't get the bat going.
Hoying in, PHing for Rua. Ball one. strike 1. Ball 2. Just off the plate, ball 3. Slapped foul, 3-2. Just outside, ball 4.
1 out, 1 on for Chirinos. fouled back. Bunted up the line, Devo fields and tosses to first. 2 outs.
PHing for DeSheilds, Nomar Mazara... Devo 0-7 against Mazara so far. Strike one down the pipe. Popped behind 3rd. Breggers back, under it. Inning over.

End 7, 3-0 Good Guys.

Top 7

WOOick takes strike 1. ball 1. foul again. 1-2.  Smack down the line, Napoli makes a lucky ass play, 3-1. 1 out.
Altuve  6-3. 2 outs.
Correa up, ball one. Grounds 6-3.

Mid 7, Astros up 3-0.

[chuck]

The great tropical freshwater fish is the peacock bass. It's not a bass, butnitnis in Panama.


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Eta: but it is.

I've caught about 500 of those. I would bet a lot of money that a Peacock bass will be Daniel's first fish. (Mine was probably a perch.) I'd like to see about fly fishing for those one day. We use live minnows and a simple split shot weight. If you have a guide that has half an idea of what he's doing you'll get to spots where it ceases to be fishing and turns into catching. Which is great, you know, but after about four hours of that you start to wonder if maybe there isn't something else.

[chuck]

I don't know about you folks, but I am crying into my fucking shoes about commercials popping up on MLB.tv streaming.

Do you get actual commercials or mlb.tv highlights? I get the latter and it is extremely annoying. So if you're getting commercials I imagine you might be homicidal.

[hostros7]

Springer dong!


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[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Holy cow, Springer has been squaring up on that ball.

[MRaup]

Top 8

Gee still in to pitch.
Beltran up, fouls off strike 1. Slaps a foul strike 2. Hung curve, fouled off. Fouled again. Smacked to Napoli, off the glove off Gee covering first. Nap threw that a bit high. Beltran safe at first, no outs.
McCann hits one right at Napoli, Nap drops it, picks it up, and goes to first. 1 out, runner on 2nd. Some shady fielding this inning.
Gurriel smashes one down the LF line, FAIR! Beltran scores easily, Gurriel cruises in the 2nd. 4-0 Astros!
Bregman grounds out 5-3, 2 outs.
Brocail looks about 1000 years old these days.
Marisnik up now for Aoki with Gurriel on 2nd, 2 outs.  Marisnik clipped by an up and in 2 seam fastball. 1st and 2nd, 2 outs.
Springer ball one, just up. SMASHED TO DEAD CENTER! GONE! 7-0 ASTROS!

Mid 7

Devo in to relieve Dallas.
86 pitches ends Keuchel's night.
Napoli fouls off strike 1.
Marisnik in to play left field for Aoki.
Strike 2.
Breaking ball right down the pipe taken for strike 3! One out! Nap couldn't get the bat going.
Hoying in, PHing for Rua. Ball one. strike 1. Ball 2. Just off the plate, ball 3. Slapped foul, 3-2. Just outside, ball 4.
1 out, 1 on for Chirinos. fouled back. Bunted up the line, Devo fields and tosses to first. 2 outs.
PHing for DeSheilds, Nomar Mazara... Devo 0-7 against Mazara so far. Strike one down the pipe. Popped behind 3rd. Breggers back, under it. Inning over.

End 7, 3-0 Good Guys.

[chuck]

I don't know what chorinos's walk up music is, but let's just say I wouldn't even abide him DJ'ing my second cousin's niece's quincinera, if I was Hispanic and such an event were in the works.

My wife, who is hispanic (and who generally pays zero attention to any sports on tv, ever) heard that and commented, Que feo.

[MRaup]

Reddick down swinging to end the inning, but the damage is done.


Mid 8, 7-0 Astros.

Top 8

Gee still in to pitch.
Beltran up, fouls off strike 1. Slaps a foul strike 2. Hung curve, fouled off. Fouled again. Smacked to Napoli, off the glove off Gee covering first. Nap threw that a bit high. Beltran safe at first, no outs.
McCann hits one right at Napoli, Nap drops it, picks it up, and goes to first. 1 out, runner on 2nd. Some shady fielding this inning.
Gurriel smashes one down the LF line, FAIR! Beltran scores easily, Gurriel cruises in the 2nd. 4-0 Astros!
Bregman grounds out 5-3, 2 outs.
Brocail looks about 1000 years old these days.
Marisnik up now for Aoki with Gurriel on 2nd, 2 outs.  Marisnik clipped by an up and in 2 seam fastball. 1st and 2nd, 2 outs.
Springer ball one, just up. SMASHED TO DEAD CENTER! GONE! 7-0 ASTROS!

[MRaup]

Bottom 8


Will Harris in to pitch.
Choo takes a strike. inside, ball 1.Just inside, 2-1. Slapped to Altuve, 4-3. 1 out.
Andrus fouled back, he went, 0-2. Ball 1 out. JUST inside, 2-2. SWING ANNA MISS 2 outs. I need to go scavenge for beer, get another out!
Lucroy, strike 1. Grounded 5-3 on the tagout.

End 8. BRB!

Reddick down swinging to end the inning, but the damage is done.


Mid 8, 7-0 Astros.

[MRaup]

Top 9

Gee still pitching
Altuve works the count 1-1, 1-2, chases a high fastball. K.
Correa 1 out, nobody on. Foul, 0-1. takes strike 2. Down swinging. 2 outs.
Beltran chopper in no man's land. Odor flips to first to end the inning.

Mid 9.

Bottom 8


Will Harris in to pitch.
Choo takes a strike. inside, ball 1.Just inside, 2-1. Slapped to Altuve, 4-3. 1 out.
Andrus fouled back, he went, 0-2. Ball 1 out. JUST inside, 2-2. SWING ANNA MISS 2 outs. I need to go scavenge for beer, get another out!
Lucroy, strike 1. Grounded 5-3 on the tagout.

End 8. BRB!

[chuck]

If you didn't see that coming then I can't help you.

[Knoxbanedoodle]

My wife, who is hispanic (and who generally pays zero attention to any sports on tv, ever) heard that and commented, Que feo.

Starting today, commercials. Today is weeping, tomorrow might indeed be homicide.

[Tom Servo]

Nice win!  Big 1st game on the series.

Tomorrow is a Fox game?  Ugh...

[MRaup]

Bottom 9

GIles on to pitch.
Beltre swings and misses. SMOKED to left center, and gone! 7-1. Rangers fans losing their minds. Fucking stupidass Natural music playing.
Assfuck McCockSuck down 1-2, fouled off again. Down swinging. Fuck you, jug handles mcasshole. 1 out.
Napoli 2-0 count, 2-1. 2-2. Popped foul, Breggers under it. 2 outs.
I hope you fuckers appreciate I hung in there for the whole game to give you PBP.
Hoying slashed to the right side, Yuli snags it. BALLGAME!

7-1 Good Guys!

Top 9

Gee still pitching
Altuve works the count 1-1, 1-2, chases a high fastball. K.
Correa 1 out, nobody on. Foul, 0-1. takes strike 2. Down swinging. 2 outs.
Beltran chopper in no man's land. Odor flips to first to end the inning.

Mid 9.

[doyce7]

Always good to beat those fuckers

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[chuck]

Starting today, commercials. Today is weeping, tomorrow might indeed be homicide.

That is seriously fucked up. It started for me a few days ago. So I have to keep the tv remote handy. Worst case scenario is I see a home run from Harper or Judge for the 40th time. So it's not as bad as it might be. But it's bad.

You certainly have it worse.

[JimR]

Bottom 9

GIles on to pitch.
Beltre swings and misses. SMOKED to left center, and gone! 7-1. Rangers fans losing their minds. Fucking stupidass Natural music playing.
Assfuck McCockSuck down 1-2, fouled off again. Down swinging. Fuck you, jug handles mcasshole. 1 out.
Napoli 2-0 count, 2-1. 2-2. Popped foul, Breggers under it. 2 outs.
I hope you fuckers appreciate I hung in there for the whole game to give you PBP.
Hoying slashed to the right side, Yuli snags it. BALLGAME!

7-1 Good Guys!

Outstanding PBP!

[NeilT]

I've caught about 500 of those. I would bet a lot of money that a Peacock bass will be Daniel's first fish. (Mine was probably a perch.) I'd like to see about fly fishing for those one day. We use live minnows and a simple split shot weight. If you have a guide that has half an idea of what he's doing you'll get to spots where it ceases to be fishing and turns into catching. Which is great, you know, but after about four hours of that you start to wonder if maybe there isn't something else.

They are supposed to murder flies.


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[MikeyBoy]

Thanks for the pbp, Mark. Excellent job.

[hostros7]

Yes, thanks for the PBP. It was clutch when my selfish seven month old decided to rustle about during the late innings, and I was sent in to de-escalate the situation without TV or radio.


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[MRaup]

Happy to help. I won't be taking that same adventure tonight, as I woke up to a note on my nightstand from my liver saying it was taking the rest of the weekend off after all the OT on Friday.