Toilet Bowl

[Ebby Calvin]

Texans getting pantsed by the Jags.  Completely overmatched.

Almost as bad as these commentators on JustinTV.  A brit?  Talking about football?

Eh? Oh.

[austro]

Nice job, Keo. Have you ever played the position before?

[hostros7]

Getting railroaded in Jacksonville is just reminiscent of a certain scene from Deliverance

[Ebby Calvin]

Seven penalties, 10 mins left in the 2Q.

[austro]

Seven penalties, 10 mins left in the 2Q.

I was about to post this same observation. These guys really suck right now. And half of them don't seem to give a shit. At this point I wonder if they're *trying* to get Kubiak fired.

[hostros7]

I was about to post this same observation. These guys really suck right now. And half of them don't seem to give a shit. At this point I wonder if they're *trying* to get Kubiak fired.

Think how the special teamers must feel.  They've been trying to get JoeMa axed for a decade.

[homer]

Think how the special teamers must feel.  They've been trying to get JoeMa axed for a decade.

Kubiak has been trying to get himself fired for just as long.

[austro]

10 (accepted) penalties for 115 yards in one half? Amazing.

[hostros7]

10 (accepted) penalties for 115 yards in one half? Amazing.

They are not penalties; they are cries for help.

[austro]

Swearinger is making a play for All-Pro tonight.

[Bench]

Schaub is in again? And throws a second half TD?

[austro]

Schaub is in again? And throws a second half TD?

To a Texan, no less.

[Bench]

To a Texan, no less.

Burn

[hostros7]

Coaching consistently terrible.

[Bench]

Classic Schaub!

[HudsonHawk]

I fuckin hate Bob McNair. Has there ever been a more disrespectful asshole towards the fans?

[austro]

Classic Schaub!

That was brutal. I don't think there's any saving that guy at this point.

[HudsonHawk]

That was brutal. I don't think there's any saving that guy at this point.

At this point??  You cannot be surprised that this shit happened.

[HudsonHawk]

I'm sure they practiced well this week. Gotta find a way to play better as a team.

[HudsonHawk]

What's important is they ended the game with no time outs. See, you have to use them when the clock is already stopped, otherwise what's the point.

[austro]

At this point??  You cannot be surprised that this shit happened.

Not surprised at all. It's hard to be sure when somebody has passed the point of no return, and on purely humanitarian grounds I was hoping that Schaub might do something. But it certainly looks like his sell-by date has come and gone.

I think he's probably passable as long as he's got a strong running game that's the primary weapon. But if the running game isn't working and you have to rely on him as the first option, you're doomed.

[HudsonHawk]

Not surprised at all. It's hard to be sure when somebody has passed the point of no return, and on purely humanitarian grounds I was hoping that Schaub might do something. But it certainly looks like his sell-by date has come and gone.

I think he's probably passable as long as he's got a strong running game that's the primary weapon. But if the running game isn't working and you have to rely on him as the first option, you're doomed.

I guess I'm just gobsmacked that you could still be on the fence with Schaub.

[Uncle Charlie]

It's clear that Kubs is going down with the ship.  Saying that Pick-Six is a pro's pro and that he was just trying to make a play when he threw the interception.  ANYONE who saw that play live know that was a terrible play, not a guy trying to make something happen.  Pick-Six never saw the linebacker.  His confidence and skill set are virtually gone.  Keenum is a back-up and Pick-Six has shown himself to be no better than that...either statistically or in watching him.  The problem is, he doesn't make a back-ups salary.  Kubs has lost all sense of reality.

[HudsonHawk]

It's clear that Kubs is going down with the ship.  Saying that Pick-Six is a pro's pro and that he was just trying to make a play when he threw the interception.  ANYONE who saw that play live know that was a terrible play, not a guy trying to make something happen.  Pick-Six never saw the linebacker.  His confidence and skill set are virtually gone.  Keenum is a back-up and Pick-Six has shown himself to be no better than that...either statistically or in watching him.  The problem is, he doesn't make a back-ups salary.  Kubs has lost all sense of reality.

The worst thing I saw from Schaub was on the penultimate drive, when they were in the red zone but failed to score. After a 9-yard run on first down to the 11 yard line, they had 2nd and 1. Schaub rolled out to his right, and had Greg Jones one on one at about the 5 yard line. There isn't a defender within 15 yards of Schaub. It's clear, all he has to do is run towards the line of scrimmage, and one of two things will happen: 1) the defender comes up to meet him leaving Jones wide open for a touchdown, or 2) the defender stays with Jones and Schaub trots to a first down at about the 7.  Any QB at any level of football should recognize this. What does Schaub do?  He stops...and waits. Waits for the defenders to get to him and them tosses the ball out if bounds. They lose a yard on 3rd down, then Schaub, fearing for his life of taking a hit, misses a wide open Andre Johnson and that's the game. This was a textbook example of everything that is wrong with Schaub, and why he has no business on the field.

I would NEVER hire someone with Schaub's "skills" to be my backup.

[Limey]

Kubs has lost all sense of reality.

I now treat everything that Kubes says as being for the benefit of McNair.  Basically, he's pleading in public not to lose his job.

[Limey]

BTW, that was the first time the Jags have won at home since November...2012.

[HudsonHawk]

BTW, that was the first time the Jags have won at home since November...2012.

It's entirely probable that the Texans will go more than a calendar year between home wins.

[Limey]

It's entirely probable that the Texans will go more than a calendar year between home wins.

Yep.  One home game left this year is vs. Denver, which will be a bloodbath.  I wonder if McNair will use that game as an opportunity to fire Kubiak.  On the 50 yard line.  At halftime.  It's the only thing the home fans would have to cheer that day.

[HudsonHawk]

Yep.  One home game left this year is vs. Denver, which will be a bloodbath.  I wonder if McNair will use that game as an opportunity to fire Kubiak.  On the 50 yard line.  At halftime.  It's the only thing the home fans would have to cheer that day.

McNair is a coward who has zero respect for the fans.

[Duke]

The Texans are a dumpster fire, soup sandwhich, train wreck etc. 

Btw,  Watching Teddy Bridgewater as well last night.  There is no way I'd burn the number one on him.  He was very inconsistent.

[Mr. Happy]

The Texans are a dumpster fire, soup sandwhich, train wreck etc. 

Btw,  Watching Teddy Bridgewater as well last night.  There is no way I'd burn the number one on him.  He was very inconsistent.

I agree about Bridgewater. His stock has really fallen.

[Bench]

So who's the QB1 of the draft?  Assuming the Texans have the first pick (yes, I know.  It's a total stretch but bear with me here) what should they do with it?

[HudsonHawk]

The Texans are a dumpster fire, soup sandwhich, train wreck etc. 

Btw,  Watching Teddy Bridgewater as well last night.  There is no way I'd burn the number one on him.  He was very inconsistent.

I've been saying that all along.  I would not waste it on Bridgewater and certainly not on Manziel.  The latter would set this franchise back another 10 years.  The QB they want,  the QB they need is named D. Carr out of Fresno State.  But the chances of that happening...

[HudsonHawk]

So who's the QB1 of the draft?  Assuming the Texans have the first pick (yes, I know.  It's a total stretch but bear with me here) what should they do with it?

I think the talking heads and pompadours (I'm looking at you Mel Kiper, Jr.  Who is this clown anyway?  Why does anyone give a rat's ass what he thinks?) still think Bridgewater is the number one guy.  I disagree.  But what's new.

[Bench]

I think the talking heads and pompadours (I'm looking at you Mel Kiper, Jr.  Who is this clown anyway?  Why does anyone give a rat's ass what he thinks?) still think Bridgewater is the number one guy.  I disagree.  But what's new.

I've watched a fair amount of Louisville games this season as I've followed Conference US the American Athletic Conference, and while Bridgewater is certainly fun to watch it's hard to imagine him being consistently successful in the pro game.   

Any non-QBs worth the pick?

[HudsonHawk]

I've watched a fair amount of Louisville games this season as I've followed Conference US the American Athletic Conference, and while Bridgewater is certainly fun to watch it's hard to imagine him being consistently successful in the pro game.   

Any non-QBs worth the pick?

If there's a HOF offensive lineman or defensive back available.  Or a linebacker.  Or a running back.  About the only spots the Texans have not worthy of a #1 pick is defensive line, wide receiver and kicker.  And not because they're fixed at kicker.  I don't know who fits the bill at spots other than QB, but I think the Texans are absolutely nuts if they don't draft a QB with their first pick, whomever that is.

[Bench]

McNair just fired Kubiak?

[gleach]

Jay Glazer tweeting that Kubiak has informed his assistants that he has been fired. I don't know how to link shit.

https://twitter.com/JayGlazer/status/409007013666885632

Or maybe I do. I dunno.

[Bench]

Jay Glazer tweeting that Kubiak has informed his assistants that he has been fired. I don't know how to link shit.

https://twitter.com/JayGlazer/status/409007013666885632

Or maybe I do. I dunno.

NFL and Texans have confirmed it.  Wade Phillips to secure the first overall pick.

[Ebby Calvin]

Huzzah!

[Ebby Calvin]

Presser live on ESPN now.

[Bench]

McNair said “we’ll evaluate the rest of the coaching staff, also evaluating the players”

Don't stop there big guy.

[Ebby Calvin]

McNair: "Case is going to be the starting QB."

[Bench]

It seems obvious to all that Rick Smith's job is safe.  He was sitting next to McNair nodding and looking stern the whole time and McNair took pains to blame the coaching staff and not the collection of talent.

Typical McNair.  He just can't go far enough.

[Limey]

It seems obvious to all that Rick Smith's job is safe.  He was sitting next to McNair nodding and looking stern the whole time and McNair took pains to blame the coaching staff and not the collection of talent.

Typical McNair.  He just can't go far enough.

No hope for a Brick Top moment...where he bags up his informant after killing the guy who was fingered?

"Nobody likes a grass..."

[sporadic]

If there's a HOF offensive lineman or defensive back available.  Or a linebacker.  Or a running back.  About the only spots the Texans have not worthy of a #1 pick is defensive line, wide receiver and kicker.  And not because they're fixed at kicker.  I don't know who fits the bill at spots other than QB, but I think the Texans are absolutely nuts if they don't draft a QB with their first pick, whomever that is.

What would you think about trading down and getting multiple first rounders (might have to throw in your second or a future pick as well)?  You could probably get the LB from UCLA and, say, AJ McCarron. 

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I've been saying that all along.  I would not waste it on Bridgewater and certainly not on Manziel.  The latter would set this franchise back another 10 years.  The QB they want,  the QB they need is named D. Carr out of Fresno State.  But the chances of that happening...

Reliant isn't a two Carr garage?

[BizidyDizidy]

If there's a HOF offensive lineman or defensive back available.  Or a linebacker.  Or a running back.  About the only spots the Texans have not worthy of a #1 pick is defensive line, wide receiver and kicker.  And not because they're fixed at kicker.  I don't know who fits the bill at spots other than QB, but I think the Texans are absolutely nuts if they don't draft a QB with their first pick, whomever that is.

I don't think any RB is worth a #1 pick anymore.

[sporadic]

I don't think any RB is worth a #1 pick anymore.

I think teams should draft a RB in the 3rd or 4th round EVERY year...rotate 'em out when their first contract is up.

[Mr. Happy]

I think teams should draft a RB in the 3rd or 4th round EVERY year...rotate 'em out when their first contract is up.

This is wise.

[Mr. Happy]

I hear that Nick Saban is house hunting in Houston. Could he be returning to the NFL? I can't see it, but that is odd.

[HudsonHawk]

What would you think about trading down and getting multiple first rounders (might have to throw in your second or a future pick as well)?  You could probably get the LB from UCLA and, say, AJ McCarron. 

I'm OK trading down a few spots, if you can still get a top-level QB.  I just don't think they can get multiple first rounders and still get a quality QB.  I'm not sold on McCarron, though he'd be light years better than Maziel.  I like that kid from LSU, what's his name...Mettenberger...a lot.  But I'm not sure about his recent knee injury, and I haven't watched him *that* much.

[Bench]

Oh hey, Marciano canned as well, according to Schefter and Berman.  

[HudsonHawk]

I don't think any RB is worth a #1 pick anymore.

I think it depends.  Folks used to argue that under Kubiak's system, any decent RB could be a star.  One, Kubiak's system is a moot point now, and two, it's just a matter of time before that cut blocking is outlawed.  I think the NFL will swing back to a running league, and there will be a premium on premium RBs.  Probably not in the next few years though.

[Mr. Happy]

I'm OK trading down a few spots, if you can still get a top-level QB.  I just don't think they can get multiple first rounders and still get a quality QB.  I'm not sold on McCarron, though he'd be light years better than Maziel.  I like that kid from LSU, what's his name...Mettenberger...a lot.  But I'm not sure about his recent knee injury, and I haven't watched him *that* much.

Mettenberger has a big time NFL type arm.

[HudsonHawk]

Reliant isn't a two Carr garage?

Nope, fraid not.  But I like Derek Carr.  He's the kind of QB that I think can be very successful for many years in the NFL. 

[HudsonHawk]

Mettenberger has a big time NFL type arm.

Yeah, I really like what I've seen of him.  He has a long way to go, but I think he has the NFL tools...the size, the body build, the arm, the head, etc.  He's what I want in my QB.  "Character" may be a serious issue with him, though.

[Mr. Happy]

Yeah, I really like what I've seen of him.  He has a long way to go, but I think he has the NFL tools...the size, the body build, the arm, the head, etc.  He's what I want in my QB.  "Character" may be a serious issue with him, though.

He reminds me a bit of what I saw of Roethlisberger when LSU played Ohio back when Saban coached LSU. Nick told a group of us that Roethlisberger was going to be a great player in the NFL.

[HudsonHawk]

He reminds me a bit of what I saw of Roethlisberger when LSU played Ohio back when Saban coached LSU. Nick told a group of us that Roethlisberger was going to be a great player in the NFL.

Mettenberger is definitely a Roethlisberger type.  Right down to the sexual assaults.  But I like his QB play.

BTW, Roethlisberger didn't play at Ohio State.  He played at Miami U.

[austro]

Mettenberger is definitely a Roethlisberger type.  Right down to the sexual assaults.

Boom. Beat me to it.

I wish there were a Richard Sherman/Patrick Peterson type available (maybe there is and I just don't realize it). More than anything the defense needs a lock-down corner that will allow the rest of the defense to be a little more flexible. I'm going to be very disappointed if Kareem Jackson wears a Texans uni next year.

[Mr. Happy]

Mettenberger is definitely a Roethlisberger type.  Right down to the sexual assaults.  But I like his QB play.

BTW, Roethlisberger didn't play at Ohio State.  He played at Miami U.

I knew that it wasn't Ohio St. It was a gimme game for LSU and a payday road game for Miami (Ohio).

[chuck]

Norv Turner is embarrassing Bill Belichick.

Norv Turner. Oh, he's directing the offense of the Cleveland Browns.

The Cleveland Browns.

[Ron Brand]

But...but...Highlander's on!

[austro]

Norv Turner is embarrassing Bill Belichick.

Norv Turner. Oh, he's directing the offense of the Cleveland Browns.

The Cleveland Browns.

I think his is the only name that I haven't heard as a possible replacement for Kubiak. The prospect that really scares me is the hiring of Shanahan after he gets the boot at Washington.

[chuck]

I think his is the only name that I haven't heard as a possible replacement for Kubiak. The prospect that really scares me is the hiring of Shanahan after he gets the boot at Washington.

McNair is a football idiot who's going to fuck this whole thing up completely. He'll hire someone worse than Kubiak and now that he has a taste for meddling he'll dick with the football operations and the whole thing will get worse.

That PI for the Patriots in the end zone was terrible. It gets more and more credible that Goodell is Sterning the NFL.

[austro]

That PI for the Patriots in the end zone was terrible. It gets more and more credible that Goodell is Sterning the NFL.

I haven't seen that yet, but I can't say that I was surprised when I heard about it. Fucking Patriots are like the Yankees.

[chuck]

Fucking Patriots are like the Yankees.

Worse. Boston fans are even worse than New York fans if you can believe it.

[Ebby Calvin]

Worse. Boston fans are even worse than New York fans if you can believe it.

We have friends who just recently moved to Houston from Boston, and this is true in the guy's case.  He won't let anybody watch the Pats with him, which I guess is considerate, but I can only imagine the words his four-year-old hears screaming through the locked door.
And he's ruthless when arguing about sports.  When the Sox came to town last year, I was joking around about how the Astros were going to sweep or whatever.  He says something to the effect of, have the Astros ever been relevant?  What, like the time they were swept in the WS?  Then he says something about that 'roider Bagwell (but this is just to piss me off).
He's a cocksucker as a sports fan, but otherwise a genuinely nice, considerate and generous person.

My son "buys" his son Astros gear for every holiday.

[chuck]

My son "buys" his son Astros gear for every holiday.

Give him an Astros bat and tell him to ram it up his dad's ass.

[Bench]

Worse. Boston fans are even worse than New York fans if you can believe it.

It's not even close.  Of course, in general, New Yorkers have much more perspective on the world and themselves than New Englanders which is a really shitty compliment. 

[BudGirl]

Worse. Boston fans are even worse than New York fans if you can believe it.

+1

[Bench]

Nope, fraid not.  But I like Derek Carr.  He's the kind of QB that I think can be very successful for many years in the NFL.  

It was just one game but it's the only one I've seen him play.  Not an impressive showing today.  Wildly inaccurate, missing several wide open receivers whenever any throw called for some touch.

[HudsonHawk]

It was just one game but it's the only one I've seen him play.  Not an impressive showing today.  Wildly inaccurate, missing several wide open receivers whenever any throw called for some touch.

I didn't see today, but I like what I've seen before.  I love his arm.  There are going to be growing pains with whomever they draft. 

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I watched the Fresno vs San Jose game and was impressed with Carr. However, I don't think there is a quarterback worthy of an early first round pick in the upcoming draft.

[Bench]

I watched the Fresno vs San Jose game and was impressed with Carr. However, I don't think there is a quarterback worthy of an early first round pick in the upcoming draft.

Yeah.  I'm not overly impressed with any of the eligible quarterbacks.  Then again, I thought Tim Couch was a no-brainer.