Which autographed baseball did you butcher as a child?!?

[OregonStrosFan]

In between catching The Sandlot on video and ybbodeus mentioning Dizzy Dean in the Musial thread, I was reminded of the autographed baseballs I'd butchered playing street ball over the years...  My 'minor' infraction was using a Roy Smalley(sp?) signed ball back in the day... but... my MAJOR infraction was destroying a baseball signed by Dizzy Dean (dad had gotten the signed ball from going to Dizzy's hamburger franchise back in the day - rather than AL or NL, the ball had the burger franchise logo on it).  Funny thing is, that in conversations with buddies over the years, seems like every one of them has a similar story (not BS stories, rather legitimate and seemingly universal story of 'was out of baseballs so we grabbed one signed by _________ and played).

So... my question to y'all is what were you worst 'used an autographed baseball to play sandlot/street baseball' infractions?  (Mine, obviously, was the destruction of the signed Dizzy Dean baseball). 

Discuss.

[Uncle Charlie]

My only real infraction (and this will expose my age) is a Billy Doran signed ball.  Dad caught the ball as a foul in the dome, somehow got it sign by Bill and I proceeded to destroy it in street ball.

My dad always told me the story of my most prized baseball possession, a signed ball by the '60 Pirates.  The team trainer lived on my dad's street.  He'd routinely bring home signed balls for the kids, which included the one we have.  For some reason, my dad stashed his away, but most kids played with them.  There are no telling how many Clemente, Face, Virdon, Law, Maz signatures were destroyed on that street.  I remember my dad chatting with a friend about games they went to and would re-enact growing up; he mentioned that he had that ball & I listened as the friend described the same stories my father had told me, regretfully wishing in the end that he had just one of the Clemente signatures.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

We considered real autograph baseballs as sacrosanct, we were too involved with card collecting and such to discount the value of a real autographed ball. However, back in the day the Astros would have a free bat promotion and give away real wooden bats with embossed signatures. I remember having Eddie Matthews 500 home runs souvenir bat and an Ernie Banks. One weekend day upon discovering a pile of fresh dumped river rock at a new home being constructed in the neighborhood, me and Bobby Reed decided we'd use "Eddie" to see who could hit rocks the farthest. We stayed there all morning hitting rocks across the vacant lot onto Hillcroft St. Not only did we totally destroy that bat and maybe hit a car or two, we probably incited a few cuss word from the construction foreman the following Monday morning. I still have the Ernie Banks bat.

We hated the Cowboys, so when Craig Gordon's dad brought home a football autographed by the Dallas Cowboys, we refused to acknowledge it's value. We thought the autographs were stamped on anyway. We once played with that football in the rain, the autographs became blurred and smudged, Mr Gordon never forgave us. He let us know he was disappointed in a rather colorful manner. It had been really signed by the players...

[moriartp]

Nolan. Oh, darn.

[Mr. Happy]

Mine was losing an Astros cap that Dizzy Dean had inscribed "to Paul, best of luck from Ole Diz" while shooting a water cannon across a lake in a drunken stupor back in 1976.

[geezerdonk]

[quote   in a drunken stupor back in 1976.
[/quote]
You, Diz or both?

[Mr. Happy]

I wish that it had been with Ole Diz, but I got his autograph back in 72 or 73. It wasn't too long before Dean passed away. I talked about the Gashouse Gang with him, and he told me what they were doing as well as the ones who had passed away. He seems to have kept up with his former teammates. He was on a tour of minor league ballparks when I got to see him.

He would broadcast an inning over the loudspeaker in the stadium in that patented Ole Diz style, e.g., "he slud into third," and "the runners return to their respectable bases." He worked all of his phrases into that inning. The crowd, which could not have been bigger than 1,500, got a big kick out of him, but that was one of my fondest memories because he was nice to this kid who just wanted to talk baseball with a true baseball legend.

[Reuben]

My Dad has never quite forgiven my Uncle Craig who, while Dad was away at the Naval Academy, played pepper with a ball Dad had gotten signed from some Home Run Derby in the 60's- I know he said Maris was on there along with several others, maybe Mantle, Killebrew, Gentile, etc. When Dad came home on break and found out, he of course chased Uncle Craig all over the property, or maybe smashed a window, I get some of the stories mixed up with each other.

When I was home over Christmas my dad had gotten my old glove out of storage. Both Ozzie Smith and Alan Trammell signed it for me (different occasions), but I continued to play with it throughout Little League. They still are quite legible, actually.

[ybbodeus]

Then Memphis Blue catcher Gary Carter. I don't think the "Chicks" name has been re-employed, yet.

[PCOL2000]

Mine was a Nolan Ryan.  Or about five.  Growing up in Alvin I had so many balls, gloves, napkins from delia's with his autograph on them.  When I was about 14 he was a real dick to a friend of mine - I think it's the first time I ever saw the extreme type A personality a lot of pitchers have.  (a was a pitcher too, not trying to start any fights here) haven't really been a fan ever since.  Most of my baseball card collection / comics / memorabilia from my childhood were destroyed in one of the floods.  I still like delia's though. 

[juliogotay]

A Mickey Mantle autographed photo and a Ted Williams baseball. Such treasures should not be entrusted to the youth.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

The Beaumont Golden Gators (San Diego AA affiliate) played at Lamar's Vincent-Beck stadium.  The players would share the sidewalk with fans going from fieldhouse to field.  They were very accomodating; my items to be autographed were glove, ball and hat (they had a waffle style hat like the late 70s pirates; green base, yellow piping and yellow bill-- quite fetching).  My autographs of note were Ozzie Guillen*, John Kruk, James Steele, and Mark Parent (the last 2 made the majors, so I remember them).  And The Chicken.  He would come once or twice a year because of the affiliation with SD.  Standing room only with folks lined up behind ropes up the foul lines.  Pretty safe. 

The hat is long gone.  The ball may be in a box somewhere.  And the glove was my glove from 2nd grade through softball in college.  Most names are pretty faded but I can still pick out the ones above.

*The Ozzie story: Ozzie was the top prospect on the team.  My buddy and I spot him beneath the bleachers before a game.  We race to him.  He signs my buddy's stuff, then looks up, sees one of the cheerleaders/dugout dancers ("The Golden Girls"; it was before the sitcom) and they duck into a storage closet next to a concession stand before he signs my stuff.  So we wander around down there, and 20 minutes later he emerges and signs my glove. Right next to the Rawlings "R".  Years passed before I realized what transpired. 

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

Roger Clemens.  Stood in line for 2 hours at a Sportstown on 1960 for it. 

I think a Craig Reynolds ball received the same ignominious fate.  Our neighbor at the time cut his hair.

[EasTexAstro]

My older brother got a home run ball signed by Jose Cruz when he went to a game in the 70's with his cub scout group.

I took it out to play in an empty lot. Lost it in a ditch.