Astros @ Piroots 09/02/12

[Mr. Happy]

Happy Labor Day!  Here are your lineups for today's matinee!

Astros

2BJose Altuve
SSTyler Greene
1BBrett Wallace
LFJustin Maxwell
RFMatt Downs
3BMatt Dominguez
CChris Snyder
CFBrandon Barnes
PEdgar Gonzalez

Piroots

2B Brock Holt 
LF Travis Snider 
CF Andrew McCutchen 
RF Garrett Jones 
1B Gaby Sanchez 
3B Pedro Alvarez 
C Rod Barajas 
SS Clint Barmes 
P Jeff Locke 
HOU: Edgar Gonzalez (0-0, 0.00)

[chuck]

I don't even know who the fuck Edgar Gonzalez is.

Before someone hurries in to explain where he came from and how he eventually found himself as a starting pitcher for the Houston Astros let me quickly add that I don't care.

[austro]

Wow, who wins a staredown between Jeff Locke and Hunter Pence?

[Bench]

I don't even know who the fuck Edgar Gonzalez is.

Before someone hurries in to explain where he came from and how he eventually found himself as a starting pitcher for the Houston Astros let me quickly add that I don't care.

Harrumph.

[Mr. Happy]

I don't even know who the fuck Edgar Gonzalez is.

Before someone hurries in to explain where he came from and how he eventually found himself as a starting pitcher for the Houston Astros let me quickly add that I don't care.

Good morning, Chuck. It's gratifying to see that all is well with you and yours. I haven't the foggiest notion who one Edgar Gonzalez is or indeed how he became a part of the organization and really don't care because he's pitching for us today. No doubt that he's another of Trader Jeff's bargain basement deals. Or perhaps a Hurricane Isaac refugee.

[Bench]

Good morning, Chuck. It's gratifying to see that all is well with you and yours. I haven't the foggiest notion who one Edgar Gonzalez is or indeed how he became a part of the organization and really don't care because he's pitching for us today. No doubt that he's another of Trader Jeff's bargain basement deals. Or perhaps a Hurricane Isaac refugee.

Or a September call up.

Altuve hits a single up the middle, Greene bunts for a base hit.  It's starting to come together Pepper.

Bases loaded, nobody out.

[austro]

Oops.

[Mr. Happy]

Bases juiced with nobody out on the road, and we don't get a crooked number? That's the ball game, gents.

[Mr. Happy]

Edgar Gonzalez has a big league career mark of 14-25 5.90 with a 1.57 WHIP, so he'll fit right in with the misfits that we have.

[Mr. Happy]

Edgar Gonzalez hasn't won a big league game since 2008, although he hasn't had many chances to do so, pitching 27 times while starting six games from 2009-2011. This is his first big league action of the season, so better late than never.

[austro]

Man, what a try by Barnes. He deserved a better reward.

[Ron Brand]

Shit, that was a hell of a try by Barnes. Dammit.

[Ron Brand]

The big floppy glove giveth, and the big floppy glove taketh away.

[Ron Brand]

Mrs. Jack is swavory.

[Ron Brand]

I don't know why they're guessing, but the Pirate hitters have been guessing wrong from what I've seen so far.

[Ron Brand]

2-0 Good Guys through three.

[Ron Brand]

Lot of called strike threes against the Astros so far.

[Mr. Happy]

2-0 Good Guys through three.

Go Good Guys!!!

[Ron Brand]

I think that's five Astro strikeouts, four called in four innings. It's not like Locke is Dr. Strange or Captain Perplexo or anything. Must be the daytime.

[Ron Brand]

It's my breath, right? I can take a hint.

[Reuben]

It's my breath, right? I can take a hint.

I'm lurking, just don't have anything useful or entertaining to add.

[Ron Brand]

Certs. With Retsyn™!

[Mr. Happy]

It's my breath, right? I can take a hint.

No indeed, RB. I was over reading Dark Star's series preview and waxing on in response to it. I'm back, dude.

[Ron Brand]

Agent Barmes!

[Ron Brand]

No indeed, RB. I was over reading Dark Star's series preview and waxing on in response to it. I'm back, dude.

Yeah, I'm a couple of thoughtful but no doubt shitty responses down myself. Hopefully I can take care of that soon.

[Reuben]

Wow. I thought he had Altuve at 2nd easily if he went there.

Wally!

[Ron Brand]

Brett "Kong" Wallace. 7 road HRs.

[hostros7]

Nice to see Brett flash some power

[Ron Brand]

Put a wading pool in the bullpen at MMPUS.

[Reuben]

Put a wading pool in the bullpen at MMPUS.

Well what else do you think they're planning to do where Tal's Hill used to be?

[Mr. Happy]

Reuben: Always respond, dude. I like what you have to say.

[Ron Brand]

Well what else do you think they're planning to do where Tal's Hill used to be?

Shark tank.

[austro]

Well what else do you think they're planning to do where Tal's Hill used to be?

"Gator got 'im."

[Reuben]

Reuben: Always respond, dude. I like what you have to say.

Thanks, Montana. Likewise.

[geezerdonk]

Nice DWard retrospective an inning or so ago.

[Ron Brand]

Montana Happy. Nice.

[hostros7]

Shark tank.

It's not ridiculous to allow for the possibility it gets rebranded by tilman as the aquarium

[Ron Brand]

Nice DWard retrospective an inning or so ago.

Yeah, I thought for sure that Derek Bell was going to be an answer too.

[Ron Brand]

It's not ridiculous to allow for the possibility it gets rebranded by tilman as the aquarium

Landry's at Union Station!

[Ron Brand]

Barnes is going to kill himself if he keeps playing like this.

[austro]

Man, I'm not sure how long Barnes is going to survive.

[Ron Brand]

But I'm loving the effort.

[geezerdonk]

Brownie has officially lost his mind. He thinks the Astros are cruising with a five run lead.

[Reuben]

Montana Happy. Nice.

Yeah, we just finished watching the first season of Deadwood.

[austro]

Brownie has officially lost his mind. He thinks the Astros are cruising with a five run lead.

Yeah, we're just about to enter that phase of the game where we get really generous.

[chuck]

"Gator got 'im."

Whenever anyone would ask the whereabouts of someone or another my grandfather would invariably shout 'HAWGS ATE 'IM!'

Is that something people say or is that something he made up?

[Ron Brand]

Whenever anyone would ask the whereabouts of someone or another my grandfather would invariably shout 'HAWGS ATE 'IM!'

Is that something people say or is that something he made up?

All I know is this.

[Ron Brand]

5-1 through five. It's unrealistic to expect more from Gonzalez, but this team sure does need it.

[Mr. Happy]

Wow. Gonzalez survived for five frames. I'm pleasantly surprised.

[Mr. Happy]

Brownie has officially lost his mind. He thinks the Astros are cruising with a five run lead.

He's in denial. Or he's cocktailing.

[austro]

Whenever anyone would ask the whereabouts of someone or another my grandfather would invariably shout 'HAWGS ATE 'IM!'

Is that something people say or is that something he made up?

Don't know. The "gator got 'im" quote was from some beer (or something) commercial where somebody was imagining replacing the warning track with a moat in order to add some more suspense to the game. The imaginary announcers were calling the action on a deep fly that wound up with the outfielder going into the moat.

[Ron Brand]

Snyder handled that cookie well. McPherson throws pretty hard.

[Reuben]

Nice job by Storey there. Still 9 more outs that this hapless bullpen needs to get.

[Mr. Happy]

Mickey Storey slams the door. This time. 5-1 through six. I wish that it was 50-1, but even then I'd be nervous with our bully.

[subnuclear]

Whenever anyone would ask the whereabouts of someone or another my grandfather would invariably shout 'HAWGS ATE 'IM!'

Is that something people say or is that something he made up?

"Went to Dallas with a load of hogs" was our family variant.

[Ron Brand]

Nice surprise curve there.

[Ron Brand]

Mickey Storey with a career day.

[geezerdonk]

DeFracesco needs to pull Storey - right after his arm falls off.

[Ron Brand]

Tora! Tora! Tora!

[Ron Brand]

DeFracesco needs to pull Storey - right after his arm falls off.

Yes. Please don't send him back out there. He did his job.

[Mr. Happy]

Mickey Storey with a career day.

I'm guessing from Gameday that he's throwing a nice hook today?

[Ron Brand]

I'm guessing from Gameday that he's throwing a nice hook today?

I saw one real good one, at 71 mph but haven't noticed the others being spectacular.

[Mr. Happy]

I saw one real good one, at 71 mph but haven't noticed the others being spectacular.

The book on McKendry must be that he can't hit them, because that's all Storey threw him. He must have a Pedro Serrano problem.

[Ron Brand]

The book on McKendry must be that he can't hit them, because that's all Storey threw him. He must have a Pedro Serrano problem.

Could be, but he really had him set up well before he blew his mind with that slow one.

[Mr. Happy]

What are the odds on Bogusevic finishing below the Mendoza line? I'd say that they're pretty good.

[Ron Brand]

What are the odds on Bogusevic finishing below the Mendoza line? I'd say that they're pretty good.

100%. But can he finish below the Oyler line? That's a tough one.

[Mr. Happy]

100%. But can he finish below the Oyler line? That's a tough one.

Much harder. And he's got no chance of finishing below the Luis Pujols line.

[Ron Brand]

WW in.

[Ron Brand]

And on to the ninth.

[Ron Brand]

Crafty Skip, leaving WW in to hit.

[Ron Brand]

Crafty Skip, leaving WW in to hit.

Or miss, as it were.

[Mr. Happy]

Greene not getting cheated in this at-bat.

[Ron Brand]

Wallace! Nice play.

[Ron Brand]

The Kid closes it out, 5-1 Good Guys!

[subnuclear]

The first win for Gonzales whoever he is?

[Ron Brand]

The first win for Gonzales whoever he is?

1st one since 2008, anyway.

[subnuclear]

1st one since 2008, anyway.

Wasn't clear who he was in the baseball-reference. Well good for him, that's a long time without a win.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Wow, the Astros have won two out of the last three.

[juliogotay]

And they win one not started by Harrell.