Scruffy Neighbour

[Limey]

My neighbour's house is rented to a horror show of a woman.  She is just a mess, and has turned her residence into a disaster area (it did not have far to go).  The front step is obliterated with months of papers and flyers, and the front yard has been allowed to return to the wild.  The back of the house is worse, and there's at least one room which is left open to the elements.

I have no idea how this woman lives like she does, but that's no my concern.  What is my concern is that I am trying to sell my house, and this pile of shit next door is cock-blocking me.  It will get torn down eventually, but I am not in the mood to wait and I have yet to find a buyer who is.  Feedback on my house is that everyone absolutely loves it.  LOVES it.  But they hate "the street".

So, my question is:  what the fuck can I do about this?  This is in the City of Houston, so there is no HOA to turn to.  Do I have any options?

[HudsonHawk]

My neighbour's house is rented to a horror show of a woman.  She is just a mess, and has turned her residence into a disaster area (it did not have far to go).  The front step is obliterated with months of papers and flyers, and the front yard has been allowed to return to the wild.  The back of the house is worse, and there's at least one room which is left open to the elements.

I have no idea how this woman lives like she does, but that's no my concern.  What is my concern is that I am trying to sell my house, and this pile of shit next door is cock-blocking me.  It will get torn down eventually, but I am not in the mood to wait and I have yet to find a buyer who is.  Feedback on my house is that everyone absolutely loves it.  LOVES it.  But they hate "the street".

So, my question is:  what the fuck can I do about this?  This is in the City of Houston, so there is no HOA to turn to.  Do I have any options?

Didn't we have a discussion a while back about the absolute horror of having deed restrictions and expectations of upkeep in residential neighborhoods?  Perhaps some of those who decried that as tyranny can enlighten you as to why you are better off this way.

As for your options, I'm not sure you have many, unless you can demonstrate that the house is hazardous in some way.  That's the beauty/ugliness of home ownership...the value of your home is, in no small part, based on the value of your neighbor's.

[Limey]

As for your options, I'm not sure you have many, unless you can demonstrate that the house is hazardous in some way. 

This is the avenue of recourse I was considering.  I know the owner struggles to pay her property taxes, because I stalk her on HCAD.  She was two weeks away from defaulting this year, and I was really hoping she would miss the deadline and the city would foreclose.  Her bill is over 8k, and there's no way her tenant pays the $700/month in rent to cover that, let alone any other bills.  So I'm thinking that if I can cause her to have hassles with the authorities, she'll dump the place.

I looked over the Houston 311 website, but I can't find any info on what I can complain about.

[HudsonHawk]

This is the avenue of recourse I was considering.  I know the owner struggles to pay her property taxes, because I stalk her on HCAD.  She was two weeks away from defaulting this year, and I was really hoping she would miss the deadline and the city would foreclose.  Her bill is over 8k, and there's no way her tenant pays the $700/month in rent to cover that, let alone any other bills.  So I'm thinking that if I can cause her to have hassles with the authorities, she'll dump the place.

I looked over the Houston 311 website, but I can't find any info on what I can complain about.

Unfortunately, being ugly is not against the law.  You may be able to argue that the unkept lawn is a haven for insects, rodents, and potentially other pests that pose a health risk.  Not sure how you do that though.  If the house was built before 1978, it probably has lead paint in it, and if before 1990, asbestos.  Don't think that would get you anywhere though.

[Limey]

Unfortunately, being ugly is not against the law.  You may be able to argue that the unkept lawn is a haven for insects, rodents, and potentially other pests that pose a health risk.  Not sure how you do that though.  If the house was built before 1978, it probably has lead paint in it, and if before 1990, asbestos.  Don't think that would get you anywhere though.

House was built in 1947.  I think the insect/rodent attack line is best.  The garage at the back is barely standing, rotting, and open to any and all forms of animal life.

[HudsonHawk]

On a side note, why are you trying to sell Chez Limey?  That's a sweet pad!

[EasTexAstro]

If there is exposed wiring in the room open to the elements, it is a fire risk. Piled papers in front, depending on how bad, can also be a problem. If one city official, say a fire code enforcement officer, were to look at it, he may have grounds to register other complaints about the conditions in and around the house.

[Limey]

On a side note, why are you trying to sell Chez Limey?  That's a sweet pad!

Taking the profit and downsizing in order to get into a better neighbourhood at a later date.  My zip code is on fire right now, so I'm trying to take advantage of a peak in the market.  If it doesn't sell for the price I want, I'll yank it from the market.

[chuck]

Taking the profit and downsizing in order to get into a better neighbourhood at a later date.  My zip code is on fire right now, so I'm trying to take advantage of a peak in the market.  If it doesn't sell for the price I want, I'll yank it from the market.

That's a salt water pool? I didn't know it was a salt water pool. Damn. Where are the cats supposed to drink?

[Limey]

That's a salt water pool? I didn't know it was a salt water pool. Damn. Where are the cats supposed to drink?

They drink it anyway.

[sporadic]

Make an offer to buy the place.  If the owner is behind on taxes one would think they are not the most financially secure people in the world.  Make an offer based on the value of the dirt...if the zip is "on fire" then you will have no shortage of people wanting to buy.  A very high end builder I know is constantly complaining about not being able to get any land.  Then again, there have probably been multiple offers to the owner already (based on the tax bill being delinquent)...but who knows, it might be worth a phone call.

[OregonStrosFan]

Make an offer to buy the place.

British Colonialism?!?

[Andyzipp]

British Colonialism?!?

That would only require the planting of a flag.

[Limey]

Make an offer to buy the place.  If the owner is behind on taxes one would think they are not the most financially secure people in the world.  Make an offer based on the value of the dirt...if the zip is "on fire" then you will have no shortage of people wanting to buy.  A very high end builder I know is constantly complaining about not being able to get any land.  Then again, there have probably been multiple offers to the owner already (based on the tax bill being delinquent)...but who knows, it might be worth a phone call.

I have thought about this too, and I have tried to get my builder interested as well.  The owner inherited it from her mother, and I was sure she would sell.  I was gobsmacked when she showed up one day to complain about my fence blocking her driveway* and stopping her tenant getting to the garage**.  I am sure she has been approached, and I cannot for the life of me understand why she doesn't sell.  There's clearly no sentimental value.

* I politely pointed out that my fence isn't blocking her driveway, but that her driveway is on my property.  I had put my fence inside the property line to avoid digging up her driveway, and perhaps she should go and check the survey.  I have not heard from her since.

** The garage is a rotted out shack that is no way fit for purpose.


FWIW, I have made a complaint to the city.  They have promised to resolve it by February 2013.  Allsome.

[HudsonHawk]

That's a salt water pool? I didn't know it was a salt water pool. Damn. Where are the cats supposed to drink?

Saltwater pools produce the same levels of chlorine as do traditionally chlorinated pools. 

[sporadic]

and I cannot for the life of me understand why she doesn't sell. 

my guess would be she is asking way too much.  seems to me (based on the city's response) you are fucked like a tied goat.

[HudsonHawk]

my guess would be she is asking way too much.  seems to me (based on the city's response) you are fucked like a tied goat.

But at least he's free from the oppression of deed restrictions.

[chuck]

If I were you I'd call the owner and say, Listen here, Toots, for the next six (eight, twelve, whatever) weeks I'm going to have someone come over to your property every so often and cut the grass, clean the yard, pick up last April's Weekly Beacon and whatever other garbage has accumulated since the last time my guy was out there cutting the grass, cleaning the yard and picking up last April's Weekly Beacon. I do not expect any reimbursement from you; neither do I expect any interference whatsoever. You may respond with a crisp, Why, thank you Mr Limey or I will make your life as the owner of this rat box a living hell.

That's what I would do.

[HudsonHawk]

If I were you I'd call the owner and say, Listen here, Toots, for the next six (eight, twelve, whatever) weeks I'm going to have someone come over to your property every so often and cut the grass, clean the yard, pick up last April's Weekly Beacon and whatever other garbage has accumulated since the last time my guy was out there cutting the grass, cleaning the yard and picking up last April's Weekly Beacon. I do not expect any reimbursement from you; neither do I expect any interference whatsoever. You may respond with a crisp, Why, thank you Mr Limey or I will make your life as the owner of this rat box a living hell.

That's what I would do.

Ladies and Gentleman...the kinder, gentler chuck.

[chuck]

Saltwater pools produce the same levels of chlorine as do traditionally chlorinated pools. 

Is that good or bad from the perspective of a cat?

But at least he's free from the oppression of deed restrictions.

I would buy the lot next door and promptly build a 40-story building.

[chuck]

Ladies and Gentleman...the kinder, gentler chuck.

Do not ever let it be said that I am not community-service minded.

[MusicMan]

That would only require the planting of a flag.

Raze the house in the name of Manifest Destiny.

[chuck]

And I would have recommended burning the joint down but as Limey points out that particular house sits alarmingly close to his property line.

[HudsonHawk]

Is that good or bad from the perspective of a cat?

It probably doesn't matter to the cat.  There's the same amount of chlorine in the pool either way.  Actually, saltwater pool water probably tastes a little better, as the chloramine levels are much, much lower.  Chloramines are the ammonia-based compounds that give pool water it's characteristic burn in the eyes, nose and throat.

[OregonStrosFan]

If I were you I'd call the owner and say, Listen here, Toots, for the next six (eight, twelve, whatever) weeks I'm going to have someone come over to your property every so often and cut the grass, clean the yard, pick up last April's Weekly Beacon and whatever other garbage has accumulated since the last time my guy was out there cutting the grass, cleaning the yard and picking up last April's Weekly Beacon. I do not expect any reimbursement from you; neither do I expect any interference whatsoever. You may respond with a crisp, Why, thank you Mr Limey or I will make your life as the owner of this rat box a living hell.

That's what I would do.

Ladies and Gentleman...the kinder, gentler chuck.

Kindler & gentler? I'd call that reasonable alternate option Chuck. 

You know the drill here Limey. You back someone into a corner, and they have no choice but to fight.  You give a person reasonable options as to avoid an altercation, and a lot of them are going to chose a reasonable option.  I don't know how realistic it would be, but I'd try to set up a conference of some sort with her. Via telephone. Dinner with you and Mrs. Limey at Chez Limey, whatever. Find out what her 'real' wants/needs are related to the property, and if you are able to reasonably help her realize them then do so. Chuck's rec above may be a good solution to your current issue with her. If she is not being reasonable, give then give her reasons to be (here is where the 'application of pressure' with 'hints' of what is coming down the road - city problems, potential driveway problems, whatever, come into play).    And if after all this she still is being completely and totally unreasonable, nuke her!

[Noe]

Sometimes, the owner allows a property manager to run the rental property and pays them a fee and percentage from the rent money. It is usually in the best interest of the property manager to have the tenant keep the property in the best of conditions (or therein). If you happen to be in a situation where no property manager is involved, then it's a lose-lose situation for the owner and yourself. Frankly, the owner sounds like a loser at this sort of thing, so I would doubt they did the best for themselves in terms of handling the rental property the best way possible.

[Bench]

(1) Befriend/bribe a city inspector to take a very close along the lines of what ETA said.

(2)  Plant some marijuana plants in the back yard and call the police. 

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

(1) Befriend/bribe a city inspector to take a very close along the lines of what ETA said.

(2)  Plant some marijuana plants in the back yard and call the police. 

It worked for me!

[Fredia]

i only give my cats bottled water..all those chems in tap water can  not be good

[Bench]

It worked for me!

And steal a bunch of neighborhood bikes and toss them in her garage.  

[mrpink]

If I were you I'd call the owner and say, Listen here, Toots, for the next six (eight, twelve, whatever) weeks I'm going to have someone come over to your property every so often and cut the grass, clean the yard, pick up last April's Weekly Beacon and whatever other garbage has accumulated since the last time my guy was out there cutting the grass, cleaning the yard and picking up last April's Weekly Beacon. I do not expect any reimbursement from you; neither do I expect any interference whatsoever. You may respond with a crisp, Why, thank you Mr Limey or I will make your life as the owner of this rat box a living hell.

That's what I would do.

This is exactly what I think you should do.  Alternatively you could call the city and report the property since it appears the homeowner is violating Chapter 10, Article IX, Division 4 of the Houston Code of Ordinances.   

At least you don't have some shithead trying to fine you $25 for having a rolled up waterhose next to your house.

[Andyzipp]

It worked for me!

You called the fashion police.  Other than a bunch of effeminate men making siren noises from atop a Prius having a certain optical effect, they don't have much authority.

[Waldo]

But at least he's free from the oppression of deed restrictions.

I recall most people complaining about HOAs that imposed ridiculous deed restrictions, not people complaining about the mere presence of deed restrictions.  But congratulations on your strawman.

[HudsonHawk]

I recall most people complaining about HOAs that imposed ridiculous deed restrictions, not people complaining about the mere presence of deed restrictions.  But congratulations on your strawman.

Congratulations on your lack of a sense of humor.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

You called the fashion police.  Other than a bunch of effeminate men making siren noises from atop a Prius having a certain optical effect, they don't have much authority.

They're about as effective as the Hot Cops.

[Lefty]

I recall most people complaining about HOAs that imposed ridiculous deed restrictions, not people complaining about the mere presence of deed restrictions.  But congratulations on your strawman.

No worries. You'd be wrong either way.

[MRaup]

Limey,

My services are available for a reasonable fee.

[JimR]

I have thought about this too, and I have tried to get my builder interested as well.  The owner inherited it from her mother, and I was sure she would sell.  I was gobsmacked when she showed up one day to complain about my fence blocking her driveway* and stopping her tenant getting to the garage**.  I am sure she has been approached, and I cannot for the life of me understand why she doesn't sell.  There's clearly no sentimental value.

* I politely pointed out that my fence isn't blocking her driveway, but that her driveway is on my property.  I had put my fence inside the property line to avoid digging up her driveway, and perhaps she should go and check the survey.  I have not heard from her since.

** The garage is a rotted out shack that is no way fit for purpose.


FWIW, I have made a complaint to the city.  They have promised to resolve it by February 2013.  Allsome.

the City of Austin uses nuisance law to shut down places like this.

[94CougarGrad]

FWIW, I have made a complaint to the city.  They have promised to resolve it by February 2013.  Allsome.

Yeah, 'cause they're busy and stuff. Sheesh.

[Limey]

the City of Austin uses nuisance law to shut down places like this.

The City posted a delightfully large and bright yellow violation notice on the door of the shithole yesterday, citing weeds front & back and open storage of garbage.  Landlord came by today to take it off.  Hopefully this means things are going to change.

[Bench]

The City posted a delightfully large and bright yellow violation notice on the door of the shithole yesterday, citing weeds front & back and open storage of garbage.  Landlord came by today to take it off.  Hopefully this means things are going to change.

How much did that cost you?