Pirates @ Astros 0729/12

[Mr. Happy]

Your lineups:

Pirates

CFStarling Marte
LFAlex Presley
2BNeil Walker
RFGarrett Jones
1BCasey McGehee
3BPedro Alvarez
CMike McKenry
SSJordy Mercer
PJames McDonald

Astros

2B Jose Altuve  
SS Marwin Gonzalez  
LF J.D. Martinez  
3B Scott Moore
1B Steve Pearce  
RF Brian Bogusevic  
C Chris Snyder  
CF Jordan Schafer  
P Lucas Harrell

[Ron Brand]

New Astros lineup:

2B Altuve
SS Gonzalez
LF Martinez
3B Moore
1B Pearce
RF Bogusevic
C Snyder
CF Schafer
P Harrell

[Mr. Happy]

New Astros lineup:

2B Altuve
SS Gonzalez
LF Martinez
3B Moore
1B Pearce
RF Bogusevic
C Snyder
CF Schafer
P Harrell

Hmmm. CJ has been deleted? Is something up?

[austro]

Hmmm. CJ has been deleted? Is something up?

Um, yeah.

[Mr. Happy]

Um, yeah.

Wow. The Snakes! The losing streak is broken! That is fantastic news.What's the book on Pearce?

[Mr. Happy]

McDonald issues a four pitch walk. We've got to be patient and can work this guy.

[moriartp]

Wow. The Snakes! The losing streak is broken! That is fantastic news.What's the book on Pearce?

Corner utility guy with some pop. Former Pirates prospect. He shows good hustle, according to the internet.

[hostros7]

Luhnow needs a nickname.  No one is safe.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

nice crowd.

[Mr. Happy]

Corner utility guy with some pop. Former Pirates prospect. He shows good hustle, according to the internet.

I wouldn't mind seeing Wallace at 1B and Paredes at 3B, unless they think that Paredes doesn't have enough pop to play the hot corner, although I don't know why not.

[hostros7]

Is brownie drunk?  What are the odd patty approaches him after the game and all he has to offer is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1gmbOAAXtA&feature=youtube_gdata_player

[austro]

That was a pretty nice play by Moore.

[Mr. Happy]

Luhnow needs a nickname.  No one is safe.

Hearkens back to the days of Frank "Trader" Lane.

[Ron Brand]

Harrell got away with a cutter that didn't cut.

[Mr. Happy]

Only one pitch I've seen so far that Harrell wishes that he had back, and that was the 1-2 with too much plate to Alvarez.

[moriartp]

Luhnow needs a nickname.  No one is safe.

Voldemort killed his parents, and now he's back to exact his vengeance. No one is safe from... The Boy Who Lived.

[strosrays]

Luhnow needs a nickname.  No one is safe.

"Don't" Luhnow?

[Ron Brand]

Luhnow needs a nickname.  No one is safe.

When I think of 'no one is safe' I tend towards thoughts of Stalin, Idi Amin, Kim Jong Il, those kinds of guys who used terror and unpredictability.

Cardinal Luhnow?

The Spanish Inquisition?

[Mr. Happy]

Snyder can't hit anything that breaks.

[Mr. Happy]

McDonald does Johnson a favor and walks him. Two outs to Schreefer.

[hostros7]

When I think of 'no one is safe' I tend towards thoughts of Stalin, Idi Amin, Kim Jong Il, those kinds of guys who used terror and unpredictability.

Cardinal Luhnow?

The Spanish Inquisition?

Stalin was my first thought, but it's not catchy.  Luhnow clearly has a Five Year Plan of his own though.

[Ron Brand]

Cardinal Fang.

[Ron Brand]

Over the last month, McDonald is 3-1 with a 5.46 ERA and a WHIP of 1.584. 24 strikeouts and 17 walks in 29.2 innings.

[austro]

"Where'd you get that third baseman?"
"Picked him up at Trader Jeff's on the way home."

[austro]

Over the last month, McDonald is 3-1 with a 5.46 ERA and a WHIP of 1.584. 24 strikeouts and 17 walks in 29.2 innings.

Tell me about it. And he's one of my *good* starters.

[Mr. Happy]

Cardinal Fang.

Lunar Mover

[Ron Brand]

Tell me about it. And he's one of my *good* starters.

Mine was but a voice in the wilderness.

[Ron Brand]

Oh, fuck me. Nolan Ryan lying for David Dewhurst. Fuck both of you.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Torquemada?

[Mr. Happy]

The Old Man is pimping for that faux conservative Dewhurst? Well that settles it for me. Go Cruz!

[Ron Brand]

Outdoor Channel promo shows some animal, maybe a big buck, walking and then cuts to a 'determined sportsman' who looks sharply and then pulls his shotgun up and aims? A shotgun, from what appears to be a serious distance away?

[Ron Brand]

The Old Man is pimping for that faux conservative Dewhurst? Well that settles it for me. Go Cruz!

There's no winners in any of this. Just more crap.

[Mr. Happy]

Harrell goes 0-2 to Mercer and then throws that guy three balls? Pitch to contact with that guy. Don't walk him.

[Ron Brand]

Scott Moore is trying to take advantage of his opportunity.

[strosrays]

The Old Man is pimping for that faux conservative Dewhurst? Well that settles it for me. Go Cruz!

He didn't exactly give any specific reason why one should vote for Dewhurst.  Except that one would be proud that one did.

Whatever.

Also, how would it be possible to not know if one were a party in the BP settlement?  Some local law firm is pimping a free hotel seminar to go and find out.

[Ron Brand]

And here's a Honda commercial with careful racial administration. There's a white guy, a black guy, a biracial guy, a woman whose ethnicity I didn't get, but the only Asian is the carmaker. Sly.

[Mr. Happy]

There's no winners in any of this. Just more crap.

I judge a lot by who is supporting a candidate. Jim DeMint is endorsing Cruz, which is all I needed to know, but the fact that the Old Man is supporting Dewhurst is merely icing on the cake.

[Ron Brand]

He didn't exactly give any specific reason why one should vote for Dewhurst.  Except that one would be proud that one did.

Whatever.

Also, how would it be possible to not know if one were a party in the BP settlement?  Some local law firm is pimping a free hotel seminar to go and find out.

That sounds like a great opportunity to round up some demented homeless folks who might enjoy some free coffee and snacks while they take in an informative seminar.

[Mr. Happy]

And here's a Honda commercial with careful racial administration. There's a white guy, a black guy, a biracial guy, a woman whose ethnicity I didn't get, but the only Asian is the carmaker. Sly.

It's exactly like the old Kool Aid commercials. They looked like a UN meeting.

[hostros7]

What are the odds bidge is the next manager? 10%?

[jbm]

I judge a lot by who is supporting a candidate. Jim DeMint is endorsing Cruz, which is all I needed to know, but the fact that the Old Man is supporting Dewhurst is merely icing on the cake.

Don't forget Palin supports Cruz. Probably more icing for you.

[strosrays]

And here's a Honda commercial with careful racial administration. There's a white guy, a black guy, a biracial guy, a woman whose ethnicity I didn't get, but the only Asian is the carmaker. Sly.

Remember Gung Ho?  Back when Michael Keaton was still relevant.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Oh, fuck me. Nolan Ryan lying for David Dewhurst. Fuck both of you.

I think/hope Dewhurst's attack ads will backfire. The ads our so out of context that Dewhurst obviously thinks people are generally too stupid to realize it. Those ads made me think Cruz is a man of integrity who did his job as prescribed by his profession (sometimes it's a dirty job).

[austro]

What are the odds bidge is the next manager? 10%?

He might be the manager after the next one, but the next guy will be purely a sacrificial lamb.

[strosrays]

He might be the manager after the next one, but the next guy will be purely a sacrificial lamb.

Christ. What does that make Millsey?  Road kill, I guess.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Ron Brand!?!?!?

[austro]

I think/hope Dewhurst's attack ads will backfire. The ads our so out of context that Dewhurst obviously thinks people are generally too stupid to realize it. Those ads made me think Cruz is a man of integrity who did his job as prescribed by his profession (sometimes it's a dirty job).

I want Dewhurst to offer one shred of evidence that Middle Easterners and Chinese are flooding across our southern border.

[Ron Brand]

A Ron Brand reset!

[austro]

Christ. What does that make Millsey?  Road kill, I guess.

Dead man walking.

[Ron Brand]

Remember Gung Ho?  Back when Michael Keaton was still relevant.

You'll LOVE this. Mary Tyler Moore, in her short-lived variety show, in a song and dance bit with Dick Shawn, Swoosie Kurtz, David Letterman and Michael Keaton. It's amazing.

[Ron Brand]

Go Astros!

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

J.D. with a sac fly to drive in Altuve!

[Mr. Happy]

Jump on an out of sync pitcher right now.

[Ron Brand]

Jump on an out of sync pitcher right now.

Man, if we could only get a good bunt here...

[Mr. Happy]

McDonald has no feel for his hammer right now. Sit dead red.

[Ron Brand]

Searage is out there telling him to challenge the hitter and go with his good stuff.

[Ron Brand]

Either that, or "zitz him."

[geezerdonk]

I would like to see The King of Marwin Gardens get a shot at third when Lawrie comes back.

[Ron Brand]

Ugh. That was a crappy end to a promising beginning.

[Bench]

I judge a lot by who is supporting a candidate. Jim DeMint is endorsing Cruz, which is all I needed to know, but the fact that the Old Man is supporting Dewhurst is merely icing on the cake.

DeMint is supporting Cruz because Dewhurst has already pledged his vote to Cornyn for whatever senate leadership position DeMint is up for.

[austro]

McDonald has walked 5 guys in 3 innings, and we've scored a single freaking run.

[geezerdonk]

 Pearce has jet lag.

[strosrays]

You'll LOVE this. Mary Tyler Moore, in her short-lived variety show, in a song and dance bit with Dick Shawn, Swoosie Kurtz, David Letterman and Michael Keaton. It's amazing.

Sophomore year in college, I used to go back to the apartment for lunch after my early classes.  The fare was usually a box of KFC or bag of Taco Bell or whatever, followed by a bowl of whatever cheeba we had on hand at the time.

Meanwhile, I'd be watching Letterman's daytime show.  Did you ever see it? That was back when daytime soaps ruled, and I think Letterman, et al, sensed (correctly) they had no audience anyway, so they just winged it. He had Paul Schaefer on there, it was very free form.

Reminded me a little of the Gong Show, which followed it and which I of course watched, also.

[Ron Brand]

DeMint is supporting Cruz because Dewhurst has already pledged his vote to Cornyn for whatever senate leadership position DeMint is up for.

There is always far, far more than meets the eye to these sorts of things.

[Ron Brand]

Sophomore year in college, I used to go back to the apartment for lunch after my early classes.  The fare was usually a box of KFC or bag of Taco Bell or whatever, followed by a bowl of whatever cheeba we had on hand at the time.

Meanwhile, I'd be watching Letterman's daytime show.  Did you ever see it? That was back when daytime soaps ruled, and I think Letterman, et al, sensed (correctly) they had no audience anyway, so they just winged it. He had Paul Schaefer on there, it was very free form.

Reminded me a little of the Gong Show, which followed it and which I of course watched, also.

Letterman's daytime show was must-see TV. It was a very special moment in time.

[austro]

The fare was usually a box of KFC or bag of Taco Bell or whatever, followed by a bowl of whatever cheeba we had on hand at the time.

Shouldn't those have been in the opposite order?

[Ron Brand]

Scott Moore is a fielding freak.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

You'll LOVE this. Mary Tyler Moore, in her short-lived variety show, in a song and dance bit with Dick Shawn, Swoosie Kurtz, David Letterman and Michael Keaton. It's amazing.

Holy cow, that sucked!

[Ron Brand]

Holy cow, that sucked!

There's pretty much nothing right with that, except they all got paid.

[Bench]

I think/hope Dewhurst's attack ads will backfire. The ads our so out of context that Dewhurst obviously thinks people are generally too stupid to realize it. Those ads made me think Cruz is a man of integrity who did his job as prescribed by his profession (sometimes it's a dirty job).

Dewhurst is providing the new case study for worst campaign by what was once a prohibitive favorite.  All polls have Cruz ahead. 

Pushing the primary back two months compounded Dewhurst's mistakes.

[Ron Brand]

JD and Brownie making with the funny about Wandy and CJ.

[Mr. Happy]

DeMint is supporting Cruz because Dewhurst has already pledged his vote to Cornyn for whatever senate leadership position DeMint is up for.

DeMint is a very honorable man and is not that vapid. Dewhurst is not a real conservative and everyone knows it. We don't need another spineless, backstabbing RINO in the Senate.

[strosrays]

Shouldn't those have been in the opposite order?

Didn't matter.  Just a small segment of a much larger cycle; of eat, sleep (a little, sometimes), drink, get high, try to get laid.  Just your basic teenaged biological functions, you know?

[Ron Brand]

Dewhurst is providing the new case study for worst campaign by what was once a prohibitive favorite.  All polls have Cruz ahead. 

Pushing the primary back two months compounded Dewhurst's mistakes.

Dewhurst's elitist, patrician style, obvious pandering and lack of substance are doing him in.

[Bench]

Wow.  Crushed.

[Ron Brand]

DeMint is a very honorable man and is not that vapid. Dewhurst is not a real conservative and everyone knows it. We don't need another spineless, backstabbing RINO in the Senate.

What you say may be true, but in my experience it is never, ever that simple.

[austro]

Ouch. That ball was crushed.

[Ron Brand]

Garrett Jones hit the living fuck out of that baseball.

[strosrays]

I think Jones likes hitting in MMPUS.  Wow.

[Ron Brand]

I think Jones likes hitting in MMPUS.  Wow.

He seems fond of the belt-high batting practice fastball.

[Bench]

DeMint is a very honorable man and is not that vapid. Dewhurst is not a real conservative and everyone knows it. We don't need another spineless, backstabbing RINO in the Senate.

Six to one, half a dozen to the other.  Dewhurst represents everything that was wrong with old politics, Cruz everything that is wrong with new politics.

[austro]

Dewhurst's elitist, patrician style, obvious pandering and lack of substance are doing him in.

He seems to be quite an asshole. But we live in strange times when Dewhurst is considered too *liberal* to be electable.

[strosrays]

Does the ball carry better when the stands are virtually empty?  Or does it just seem to?

[Ron Brand]

Six to one, half a dozen to the other.  Dewhurst represents everything that was wrong with old politics, Cruz everything that is wrong with new politics.

What I find galling about it is the complete reliance on out-of-state funding for Cruz. That's not Texas or Texans.

But realistically, it's so fucked up it'll never get straightened out. The political process has been turned into a really bad joke that gets worse every time it's told.

[Bench]

He seems to be quite an asshole. But we live in strange times when Dewhurst is considered too *liberal* to be electable.

I think it's hilarious that Dewhurst keeps trying to get Republican votes by complaining about those poor plaintiffs who didn't recover big trial judgments.  

[Bench]

Is anyone else excited about the new season of Sons of Anarchy?  That promo gets me every time.

[jbm]

DeMint is a very honorable man and is not that vapid. Dewhurst is not a real conservative and everyone knows it. We don't need another spineless, backstabbing RINO in the Senate.

Wow

[Ron Brand]

He seems to be quite an asshole. But we live in strange times when Dewhurst is considered too *liberal* to be electable.

I don't know how much of an asshole he is, especially when you compare him to the rest of them. He just seems to be a lot more concerned about what he thinks will get him elected, rather than making good public policy. And that's true for almost all of them. I guess I saw up close the last gasp of real leaders and now that they're all gone it's so sickening I want it all to go away.

[strosrays]

That girl getting spark plugs  and an air filter at her shower has a preponderance of plus-sized friends. NTTAWWT.

[Bench]

Wow

Happy lives in a world where pragmatism and compromise are sins and unyielding ideology is a virtue.  It's an interesting take on democracy.

[strosrays]

BTW, you guys are on thin fucking ice. YOU DON'T POLITICIZE THE GAME ZONE, GODDAMMIT!!!

Is nothing sacred?

[Bench]

I don't know how much of an asshole he is, especially when you compare him to the rest of them. He just seems to be a lot more concerned about what he thinks will get him elected, rather than making good public policy. And that's true for almost all of them. I guess I saw up close the last gasp of real leaders and now that they're all gone it's so sickening I want it all to go away.

They are all full time campaigners as opposed to politicians.  Sickening indeed.

[Bench]

Schreef!

[Ron Brand]

Happy lives in a world where pragmatism and compromise are sins and unyielding ideology is a virtue.  It's an interesting take on democracy.

It's a big world. There's all sorts of paths to take. Politics used to be the art of compromise so you could take both sides and come up with something that attempted to work somewhat for everybody.

Schafer!

[Jacksonian]

Is nothing sacred?

Correct.

[NeilT]

Dewhurst?  Cruz?  Are they who we got for Johnson?

[pots]

Woo hoo Shreefer HR.  Sell Sell Sell!!

[Mr. Happy]

Garrett Jones hit the living fuck out of that baseball.

Of course I sat him today, figuring Harrell to do well. Sigh.

[strosrays]

Woo hoo Shfreefer HR.  Sell Sell Sell!!

He smoked that one.

[moriartp]

BTW, you guys are on thin fucking ice. YOU DON'T POLITICIZE THE GAME ZONE, GODDAMMIT!!!

Is nothing sacred?

Thank you.

[Mr. Happy]

Finally. McDonald has been living on the edge of collapse all afternoon. Bogusevic just missed his first pitch swing too.

[Ron Brand]

Altuve, you hustling little sonofabitch!

[austro]

I think we need to audition some of these Olympic water polo guys as relievers. Talk about arms...

[Mr. Happy]

Happy lives in a world where unprincipled pragmatism and compromise are sins and unyielding ideology is a virtue.  It's an interesting take on democracy.

FIFY

[Ron Brand]

Sometimes part of negotiation is the appearance that your position will never change.

[Ron Brand]

I'm stopping my part now. I feel unclean.

Go Astros!

[Ron Brand]

That was a classy tweet by CJ.

[austro]

That was a classy tweet by CJ.

I wonder what he's going to do about his handle (@CJAstros23).

[Ron Brand]

Good job by Pearce to snag that throw.

[Mr. Happy]

Good at-bat by McKendry, fighting off some tough pitches before singling

[jbm]

Pearce has a Luke Scott beard in the making. Maybe it is the Oriole in them.

[Mr. Happy]

Good job by Pearce to snag that throw.

It was great to see that he wasn't duck-taped to the bag and saw early that he had to come off.

[Mr. Happy]

Damn. I was counting on Feliz to come back soon. I should have known my injury luck this season. Freese is hurting now, as is Escobar (although both are playing today).

[Ron Brand]

Sinatra in the Astros clubhouse today?

[Ron Brand]

Damn. I was counting on Feliz to come back soon. I should have known my injury luck this season. Freese is hurting now, as is Escobar (although both are playing today).

I think Freese and Escobar are nothing worrisome, but that Feliz thing...

[Mr. Happy]

Harrell needs to work on his secondary pitches. He's really a one pitch pony right now, which is dangerous.

[Ron Brand]

Lew Ford is back? Wow.

[pots]

On man's trash is another man's starting lineup:
https://twitter.com/zacharylevine/status/229660938423373824

10 players on the Astros 25-man roster were acquired as waiver claims or Rule 5 picks.

[austro]

Harrell needs to work on his secondary pitches. He's really a one pitch pony right now, which is dangerous.

Yeah, he just can't seem to finish this guy off.

[Mr. Happy]

I think Freese and Escobar are nothing worrisome, but that Feliz thing...

Yep. I may have to make yet another move. I'm over 70 already.

[Ron Brand]

I believe it is time for a John Mueller sausage wrap.

[austro]

I believe it is time for a John Mueller sausage wrap.

Do you have my address?

[Ron Brand]

Changeup for the K!

[Bench]

I believe it is time for a John Mueller sausage wrap.

I'll take one!

[Bench]

Changeup for the K!

Sweet pitch.

[Ron Brand]

Do you have my address?

I do not.

He added a day, he's now open Tuesday-Sunday and is cooking more meat, so he'll be open longer through the day. I think he's aiming for being open until 6.

[Mr. Happy]

Finally. A good changeup down and in to finish off Pressley and wiggle out of it.

[austro]

What a spectacular fuck-up in RF. I love it.

[Mr. Happy]

Jones is a dumbass. Good for us.

[moriartp]

What a spectacular fuck-up in RF. I love it.

It's nice when it's the other team, isn't it?

[austro]

It's nice when it's the other team, isn't it?

Yeah. I actually had to stop and consciously make note of the uniform color before I figured out it was good for us.

[austro]

The juggernaut is on a roll now!

[Mr. Happy]

Moore makes Jones pay. 4-2 now. No way JD scores from 2B. And then Pearce jumps on one for a two bagger. Need a crooked number, men.

[MRaup]

2 Observations:

1.) I'm pretty sure Brownie IS drunk today.

and

2.) That umbrella may be the ugliest thing I've ever seen.

[Mr. Happy]

McDonald is helpless out there right now. Hurdle is doing us a favor keeping him in there. Thanks for nothing, Snyder.

[austro]

I think that is pretty much the epitome of our bases-loaded impotency.

[Ron Brand]

2 Observations:

1.) I'm pretty sure Brownie IS drunk today.

and

2.) That umbrella may be the ugliest thing I've ever seen.

3. This sausage is goooooooooood.

[Mr. Happy]

Schreefer gets the run home in less than glorious fashion, but we'll take it, thank you very much.

[Ron Brand]

Dust mites?

[Mr. Happy]

We barely eek into a crooked number after having the bases loaded with nobody out. That, folks, is going to come back to haunt us. We had a chance at a three to five run inning and blew it.

[Ron Brand]

At least Walker's batting with the bases empty.

[Ron Brand]

Walker is dialed the fuck in on Harrell.

[NeilT]

Schafer's had a nice day.

[Ron Brand]

Funky shift works!

[Ron Brand]

Looked like Marwin might've got an assist on that one and chipped it to Altuve but I couldn't tell for sure.

[MRaup]

Looked like Marwin might've got an assist on that one and chipped it to Altuve but I couldn't tell for sure.

That shit was confusing. I had an initial "What the hell is Bogey playing so shallow for?!" before I realized what I was looking at.

[Ron Brand]

Fuck, is Harrell getting gassed?

[MRaup]

Fuck, is Harrell getting gassed?

He looks done-ish.

[Mr. Happy]

Just wow. It's really very good to see these clubs utilizing the technology and things like spray charts to position fielders.

[Ron Brand]

Chuckie Fick's dad was the catcher in Naked Gun. Cool.

[Mr. Happy]

Harrell is done.

[NeilT]

Harrell's getting creative.

[Ron Brand]

Harrell is definitely uncomfortable out there. He's pulling to the left and fidgeting with his uni.

[Ron Brand]

Bases loaded, two out.

And great, more political commercials. Mmmm good. Real good.

[pots]

Damn it, superman is pinch hitting

[NeilT]

Sadler/Yarbrough?

[Ron Brand]

No room for error, FeRod.

[Ron Brand]

Sadler/Yarbrough?

They're spending money?

[Mr. Happy]

FeRod has to pitch to Superman with the bases juiced.

[Ron Brand]

Red Lectroids. Believe it!

[MRaup]

WHEW!

[Ron Brand]

Wow that was nice.

[Mr. Happy]

Fuck you, Superman. Three more stranded LOBsters for FeRod. 5-2 Bottom 6

[Ron Brand]

Moore is having a fantastic day.

[Ron Brand]

Looked like Joe Frazier after George Foreman hit him.

[austro]

Red Lectroids. Believe it!

Not my planet, monkey-boy.

[Mr. Happy]

It wouldn't surprise me if Correia craters, coming into a 2-5 game after a demotion to the pen.

[Ron Brand]

I hope you're getting this Nissan spot.

[austro]

I hope you're getting this Nissan spot.

I'm watching women's beach volleybuttball between innings.

[Ron Brand]

Stupid fucking fan. I hope he gets a liner in the chops for that.

[Ron Brand]

I'm watching women's beach volleybuttball between innings.

Nice. I'm still waiting for the Lolo Jones Alerts.

[Mr. Happy]

I hope you're getting this Nissan spot.

The Grease spot? Affirmative. Love it.

[Ron Brand]

The Grease spot? Affirmative. Love it.

Makes you want to dance and sing.

[NeilT]

I'm at mmpus.  We got dangerous animals at the zoo, featuring Cruz/Dewhurst.

[austro]

Anybody want to bet that Cordero's "sprained toe" is a result of kicking something?

[austro]

I'm at mmpus.  We got dangerous animals at the zoo, featuring Cruz/Dewhurst.

Nothing's misspelled, but I still suspect that Fredia hacked Neil's account.

[Ron Brand]

Anybody want to bet that Cordero's "sprained toe" is a result of kicking something?

His own ass? Everyone else has.

[NeilT]

I guess you had to be there.

[Ron Brand]

Neil Walker can hit that ball.

[Ron Brand]

Whew. Good work, WW.

[NeilT]

That's what a veteran presence can do for you.

[Mr. Happy]

Anybody want to bet that Cordero's "sprained toe" is a result of kicking something?

No. His pitching was killing my eyes though.

[Ron Brand]

That's what a veteran presence can do for you.

Nice.

[Ron Brand]

Go get 'em, Joe Prince.

[strosrays]

Makes you want to dance and sing.

Yes, it does.

[Ron Brand]

Yes, it does.

I like the enclosed lyric sheet.

[Mr. Happy]

Everytime I see Joe Prince go out there, I get nervous, but he always nails it. I just don't want to see such an old guy  fall apart out there.

[Mr. Happy]

JD is right. It was almost 6-5. And a strikeout of Bogusevic. How much longer are we going to have to endure him?

[Mr. Happy]

Snyder goes to right field? I like it.

[Ron Brand]

Couple more days, I guess. He's out of options.

[Ron Brand]

I'd love to trade that prima donna.

[Ron Brand]

This is one of those games where the law of averages catches up with everything and the Astros look like a decent club.

[Mr. Happy]

Snyder goes first to third on that one? Good hustle.

[NeilT]

This is one of those games where the law of averages catches up with everything and the Astros look like a decent club.

Game ain't over yet.

[Ron Brand]

Game ain't over yet.

I know, I'm just reflecting over what we've seen so far. Don't look for this sort of thing to continue.

[Mr. Happy]

McKendry is a short little stump.

[pots]

https://twitter.com/brianmctaggart/status/229679998485811200

None of the players in the Astros' Opening Day lineup from 2011 are currently on the team.

[Ron Brand]

From 0-2 to ball four. Nice work, Jose.

[NeilT]

Break up the Astros!

[Ron Brand]

So this is the gush of warm pus after the cyst is aspirated?

[Mr. Happy]

A two out bases loaded bases clearing double. I like it. Told y'all it wasn't going to be surprising that Correia would crater.

[austro]

A two out bases loaded bases clearing double. I like it. Told y'all it wasn't going to be surprising that Correia would crater.

I don't think it's a case of cratering as much as a case of plain old sucking.

[Ron Brand]

I saw earlier this morning that the Pirates hoped to be able to trade him. Not sure this helped that much.

[Ron Brand]

Well, look who's staring retirement in the face.

[Bench]

So this is the gush of warm pus after the cyst is aspirated?

A strong candidate for the 2013 slogan.

[strosrays]

So this is the gush of warm pus after the cyst is aspirated?

I was ... was ... eating a piece of strawberry cheesecake when you typed this.

[Bench]

Cordero is coming in.  Things should get interesting.

[Ron Brand]

I was ... was ... eating a piece of strawberry cheesecake when you typed this.

That ain't cheese.

[strosrays]

No lead is safe when Coco strides purposefully out to the mound.

[Ron Brand]

I do like this Genghis Grill spot.

[Bench]

Those Genghis Grill ads are racist, right?

[Mr. Happy]

Correia wasn't sharp, but he looked less than enthused about being out there in a quasi-mop up role. Oh shit. Cordero's toe is better and is coming into the game. Fuck. The lead is no longer big enough.

[Ron Brand]

Those Genghis Grill ads are racist, right?

Dock that Chink a day's pay for napping on the job.

[NeilT]

I've been here this week for both of cordro's blown saves. Just saying'.

[Ron Brand]

I've been here this week for both of cordro's blown saves. Just saying'.

Goin' for the hat trick.

[Mr. Happy]

What do you know? Cordero gets McKendry to go fishing. Two outs to Sutton.

[Ron Brand]

They're missing his pitches like he's throwing a knuckleball. Wtf?

[austro]

Goin' for the hat das trick.

FIFY.

[moriartp]

Those Genghis Grill ads are racist, right?

All I know is they make me want to hang myself.

[NeilT]

Two outs, full count. We're doomed.

[Ron Brand]

This will convince everyone that Cordero can still pitch in the majors.

[austro]

This will convince everyone that Cordero can still pitch in the majors.

Trade him!

[NeilT]

Dang. If he comes back out for the 9th I'm leaving.

[strosrays]

I've seen this love calculator commercial a few times, and it still eludes me.  What exactly is going on here?

[Ron Brand]

All I know is they make me want to hang myself.

I've eaten children bigger than you.

[strosrays]

Is anyone actually keeping score? I haven't watched the whole game, but I think I remember at least three innings where the leadoff Astro hitter went down on the first pitch. Damn.

[Ron Brand]

Who are these guys?

[Bench]

Who are these guys?

Don't worry.  They'll change.

[NeilT]

Who are these guys?

Game ain't over yet.

[Mr. Happy]

Bogusevic actually elevates one  and put a decent swing on that ball.

[Mr. Happy]

Is this going to be a Cruz ninth?

[moriartp]

Is this going to be a Cruz ninth?

Please, no. Not today. I really want them to win this one.

[NeilT]

Chuckie Fick!

[austro]

Is this going to be a Cruz ninth?

Cruz is going to come in and allow three runs, and then they'll bring in Lopez so that I can get a save for my fantacrap team.

[Mr. Happy]

Fick to close it out in a mop up role, but is up again and gives up a leadoff single to Harrison.

[Ron Brand]

Two hitters, two singles.

[Ron Brand]

Fick is pretty much just laying it in there. When he can.

[NeilT]

He does throw a first pitch strike. It seems to go downhill after that.

[Ron Brand]

Might need just a bit more seasoning...

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Wild Pitch!

[austro]

More little league bullshit.

[Ron Brand]

Fick has fucked himself.

[pots]

Sometimes another man's trash should be left in the dumpster

[Ron Brand]

"Gotta go take out the boss' son. Be right back."

[NeilT]

Fick!  The official expletive of the game zone.

[Mr. Happy]

Another poor effort from Snyder lets in a run. 9-4 now. The bully is up. Nice play there, Fick. Runners on the corners now with nobody out. I've seen enough, and so has Millsie. Cedeno coming in.

[Ron Brand]

There's that damn Nissan spot again. Fick!

[NeilT]

Kris just asked how long Cedeno's been an astro. I have no clue.

[Mr. Happy]

Sometimes another man's trash should be left in the dumpster

Amen.

[Ron Brand]

Kris just asked how long Cedeno's been an astro. I have no clue.

Signed December 23, 2010.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Kris just asked how long Cedeno's been an astro. I have no clue.

Since about 1971.

[Ron Brand]

Didn't think Martinez was going to get to that one.

[strosrays]

There's that damn Nissan spot again. Fick!

Grease spot

[Ron Brand]

Grease spot

We're midwives to history.

[Mr. Happy]

Actually, I think that I remember Cedeno coming up in 1970. I knoww that I listened to his first game but don't remember what he did.

[strosrays]

Wow, this is sad.  Three pitchers (so far) to get through the 9th.

[jbm]

Did they really need to remove Cedeno?  

[pots]

I agree with the pirates announcers.  Millsie should just have left Cedeno in to close it.

ETA
Of course, he might want it to be a complete team effort

[Mr. Happy]

These Genghis Khan spots are awful. What focus group liked that one?

[NeilT]

W-Lop!  Any clue why they're playing China Grove while Lopez warms up?

[geezerdonk]

MMPUS fans not really appreciative of Fick.

[austro]

Damn, I think we needed one more baserunner before Lopez came in if I wanted a save.

[Ron Brand]

These Genghis Khan spots are awful. What focus group liked that one?

Aw, I like 'em ok.

[Ron Brand]

Our long, dark national nightmare is over.

Of course, it's going to crank back up again real soon.

[pots]

Called strike 3, Astros win!!

[Mr. Happy]

And Ron Brand is the luckiest man in the Game Zone since he gets to recap this one. Glad to see the streak end. Now back to more futility on the road. But this time with a new set of retreads, er, players.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Smells like napalm.

[strosrays]

I agree with the pirates announcers.  Millsie should just have left Cedeno in to close it.

I don't think Mills knows what he is doing a lot of the time. Of course with this team, it hardly matters.

Anyway, a win. I'm going to savor it.  They are heading out onto the road, and it may be a long time before the next one.

[jbm]

I don't think Mills knows what he is doing a lot of the time. Of course with this team, it hardly matters.

Anyway, a win. I'm going to savor it.  They are heading out onto the road, and it may be a long time before the next one.

Agreed on all counts. 

It appears that Pearce is the missing piece this team needed.

[NeilT]

It appears that Pearce is the missing piece this team needed.

So Ficking nominated.

[Ron Brand]

Wallace coming up, Bixler going down.

[jbm]

Levine tweeted that Wallace will actually be the backup shortstop.  I may be presuming too much about Wallace's skills there, but it does make me wonder a lot about Luhnow's idea of what is acceptable. 

[Ron Brand]

Levine tweeted that Wallace will actually be the backup shortstop.  I may be presuming too much about Wallace's skills there, but it does make me wonder a lot about Luhnow's idea of what is acceptable. 

In the postgame, Luhnow said Wallace would be playing 3B.

[jbm]

I assume he will, I was just assuming he will also be the backup shortstop.  I find the idea troubling as it has way too much fantasy baseball for my tastes.

[Mr. Happy]

So Ficking nominated.

And so is this one!

[Bench]

I assume he will, I was just assuming he will also be the backup shortstop.  I find the idea troubling as it has way too much fantasy baseball for my tastes.

I think Levine was being sarcastic about that, but what do I fucking know?

[Mr. Happy]

I think Levine was being sarcastic about that, but what do I fucking know?

I think that he was serious. Other than Marwin Gonzalez, the present starter at SS, who else even plays there now that Bixler is back down on the farm? Downsie? Doubtful. Moore? Nope.

[jbm]

I think Levine was being sarcastic about that, but what do I fucking know?

Yeah, you are probably right. 

[NeilT]

I think that he was serious. Other than Marwin Gonzalez, the present starter at SS, who else even plays there now that Bixler is back down on the farm? Downsie? Doubtful. Moore? Nope.

Honus Wagner was a shortstop. He weren't petite.

[Mr. Happy]

Honus Wagner was a shortstop. He weren't petite.

Both Ripken, Jr. and A-Rod were not little either.

[jbm]

Both Ripken, Jr. and A-Rod were not little either.

Did any of these guys carry the nickname of a floppy marine mammal?

[Mr. Happy]

Did any of these guys carry the nickname of a floppy marine mammal?

No, but this is the Astros. You take what you have. Millsie said in the McTaggart piece that Wallace will in fact be a backup SS with Downsie. But it sounds like Gonzalez will get all of the time unless he get hurt, as Millsie talks about those two playing SS as measured in "innings."

[Guinness]

From the McTaggart piece:

I'm happy to be back here in the this league

I guess nobody told Steve Pearce about next year yet...