Author Topic: Astros @ Dallas, 15 June 2012 (Read 18817 times)

moriartp · « **on:** June 15, 2012, 05:04:17 pm »

Astros:
2B- Altuve
CF- Schafer
SS- Lowrie
DH- Martinez
1B- WHERE'S WALLACE AT? WHERE'S THE BOY, STRING?
3B- Johnson
RF- Bogusevic
LF- Maxwell
C- Castro
(P- Lyles)

Rangers:
2B- Kinsler
SS- Andrus
DH- Young
3B- Beltre
RF- Cruz
LF- Murphy
C- Torrealba
1B- Moreland
CF- Martin
(P- Darvish)

Leonys Martin called up to replace Hamilton in the lineup.

But before that, UCLA vs. Stony Brook is on ESPN2. 5-0 UCLA in the bottom of the second right now. Astros 8th round pick Tyler Heineman is catching for the Bruins, and unsigned 2010 6th rounder Adam Plutko is pitching.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #1 on:** June 15, 2012, 07:28:47 pm »

The only thing that would make this better for DoRay would be if Darvish was a Cub.

JaneDoe · « **Reply #2 on:** June 15, 2012, 07:32:42 pm »

I can't believe I am actually getting to watch an Astros game. I am most positively going to fall asleep and miss most of it, but at least I am watching some.

JaneDoe · « **Reply #3 on:** June 15, 2012, 07:34:56 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 07:28:47 pm

The only thing that would make this better for ~~DoRay~~ us would be if ~~Darvish~~ DoRay was a Cub.

FIFM

EasTexAstro · « **Reply #4 on:** June 15, 2012, 07:36:57 pm »

Quote from: JaneDoe on June 15, 2012, 07:32:42 pm

I can't believe I am actually getting to watch an Astros game. I am most positively going to fall asleep and miss most of it, but at least I am watching some.

+1

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #5 on:** June 15, 2012, 07:43:25 pm »

I like the ground ball outs from Lyles so far.

chuck · « **Reply #6 on:** June 15, 2012, 07:53:08 pm »

You know, I recently watched the first two episodes of Luther. I feared it would be awful but it was better than awful. It's not in the same time zone as the Wire, of course, but I thought it was OK.

chuck · « **Reply #7 on:** June 15, 2012, 07:54:28 pm »

First two seasons I meant to say.

EasTexAstro · « **Reply #8 on:** June 15, 2012, 07:59:58 pm »

Quote from: chuck on June 15, 2012, 07:54:28 pm

First two seasons I meant to say.

Does that mean the Astros will win the game, or just a random thought?

EasTexAstro · « **Reply #9 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:05:10 pm »

Ugly swing by Wallace

Top of 4th 1-0 Astros

Wallace singles to right

chuck · « **Reply #10 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:06:04 pm »

Quote from: EasTexAstro on June 15, 2012, 07:59:58 pm

Does that mean the Astros will win the game, or just a random thought?

I'm responding to moriartp's bringing the lineup card out to the umpire.

This guy Darvish is supposed to be a big deal? Why?

Ron Brand · « **Reply #11 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:08:53 pm »

What kind of half-breed mutant is this on the mound for those assholes?

EasTexAstro · « **Reply #12 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:09:37 pm »

Quote from: chuck on June 15, 2012, 08:06:04 pm

I'm responding to moriartp's bringing the lineup card out to the umpire.

This guy Darvish is supposed to be a big deal? Why?
[/quote

Sorry...completely went over my head

Ron Brand · « **Reply #13 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:13:06 pm »

When you're hanging a curve, there's a real fine line to giving them one they'll line out to a careening Maxwell and one they'll hit out of the god damn ball park.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #14 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:17:12 pm »

Who are Yu?

Ron Brand · « **Reply #15 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:17:50 pm »

Suck it, Torrealba.

JaneDoe · « **Reply #16 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:20:40 pm »

I need 3 or 4 of those icy things. Why are JD and Brownie talking about food and beverages so much? Don't they know I am starving???

Ron Brand · « **Reply #17 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:22:32 pm »

If you told me that Hamilton turned out to have The Plague, and it had spread via the fleas that feed on his body to the kin vermin of the Rangers, including the front office, the owners and the first 35 or so rows of fans at the game, causing them to be violently and painfully ill, then most of them were unable to survive despite the best efforts of medicine funded by a contrite Rangers team, well...I would probably read that news item again.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #18 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:23:21 pm »

Quote from: JaneDoe on June 15, 2012, 08:20:40 pm

I need 3 or 4 of those icy things. Why are JD and Brownie talking about food and beverages so much? Don't they know I am starving???

Come on, woman. That's nothing a couple of chili dogs and a 32 oz. margarita won't cure.

JaneDoe · « **Reply #19 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:23:52 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 08:22:32 pm

If you told me that Hamilton turned out to have The Plague, and it had spread via the fleas that feed on his body to the kin vermin of the Rangers, including the front office, the owners and the first 35 or so rows of fans at the game, causing them to be violently and painfully ill, then most of them were unable to survive despite the best efforts of medicine funded by a contrite Rangers team, well...I would probably read that news item again.

That is some palpable hate, my friend.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #20 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:24:24 pm »

Freakishly small hands.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #21 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:24:54 pm »

Quote from: JaneDoe on June 15, 2012, 08:23:52 pm

That is some palpable hate, my friend.

Thank you, my dear.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #22 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:25:59 pm »

You know what they say...small hands, small feet...

JaneDoe · « **Reply #23 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:26:04 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 08:23:21 pm

Come on, woman. That's nothing a couple of chili dogs and a 32 oz. margarita won't cure.

Do you deliver? I am taking full advantage of the fact that I have no reason to rouse from this semi-vegatative state...

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #24 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:27:02 pm »

This guy Yu obviously didn't get my memo about the folly of pitching out of the stretch with no one on base.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #25 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:28:12 pm »

Quote from: JaneDoe on June 15, 2012, 08:26:04 pm

Do you deliver? I am taking full advantage of the fact that I have no reason to rouse from this semi-vegatative state...

I absolutely would, but I think the chili dogs would be cold by the time I got there.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #26 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:29:43 pm »

Quote from: Mr. Happy on June 15, 2012, 08:27:02 pm

This guy Yu obviously didn't get my memo about the folly of pitching out of the stretch with no one on base.

Evidently he's monkeying with his windup. Earlier he had some high-kick Japanese style he was using, now he's gone to the stretch for everything. I think MLB has gotten into his head.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #27 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:30:21 pm »

Yu has plus velocity. I didn't see that from him in ST.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #28 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:31:24 pm »

Quote from: Mr. Happy on June 15, 2012, 08:30:21 pm

Yu has plus velocity. I didn't see that from him in ST.

Give DoRay a listen. They'll breathlessly fill you in on his entire life, including those times they followed him into the Men's Room hoping for a thrilling encounter.

Matt · « **Reply #29 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:32:44 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 08:31:24 pm

Give DoRay a listen. They'll breathlessly fill you in on his entire life, including those times they followed him into the Men's Room hoping for a thrilling encounter.

Have they caught the yellow fever?

JaneDoe · « **Reply #30 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:33:09 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 08:31:24 pm

Give DoRay a listen. They'll breathlessly fill you in on his entire life, including those times they followed him into the Men's Room hoping for a thrilling encounter.

NO.
THANK.
YOU.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #31 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:33:33 pm »

Quote from: Matt on June 15, 2012, 08:32:44 pm

Have they caught the yellow fever?

Nice.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #32 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:34:14 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 08:29:43 pm

Evidently he's monkeying with his windup. Earlier he had some high-kick Japanese style he was using, now he's gone to the stretch for everything. I think MLB has gotten into his head.

That's the problem with a lot of moving parts in your delivery. When I was a pitching instructor, I would stri[p down ayoung pitcher's delivery to the bare minimum--it was my pitching equivalent of Occam's Razor.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #33 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:34:30 pm »

King of the Bare Hand.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #34 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:35:05 pm »

CJ's ninth error of the season. Fuck.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #35 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:35:25 pm »

Quote from: Mr. Happy on June 15, 2012, 08:34:14 pm

That's the problem with a lot of moving parts in your delivery. When I was a pitching instructor, I would stri[p down ayoung pitcher's delivery to the bare minimum--it was my pitching equivalent of Occam's Razor.

Seems like most of those Japanese pitchers have multiple windups, with all sorts of wacky gyrations and tics.

Matt · « **Reply #36 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:35:43 pm »

Fucking CJ.

Matt · « **Reply #37 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:36:10 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 08:35:25 pm

Seems like most of those Japanese pitchers have multiple windups, with all sorts of wacky gyrations and tics.

I think the Koreans do that too.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #38 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:36:24 pm »

Quote from: Matt on June 15, 2012, 08:32:44 pm

Have they caught the yellow fever?

I guess yellow fever makes you do something that looks like drool, right?

Settle the fuck down, Lyles. You have no room for error.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #39 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:37:21 pm »

Shit. I could be watching Sarah Shahi in HD, but ohhhhh nooooooo...

Matt · « **Reply #40 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:37:22 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 08:36:24 pm

I guess yellow fever makes you do something that looks like drool, right?

Settle the fuck down, Lyles. You have no room for error.

I think they've had the drooling problem since they were born.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #41 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:38:10 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 08:35:25 pm

Seems like most of those Japanese pitchers have multiple windups, with all sorts of wacky gyrations and tics.

I maintain that is a fool's errand. What you gain in deception is usually lost in command.

Matt · « **Reply #42 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:38:56 pm »

Lyles has gotta learn to pitch through errors. Shit he's had enough chances to so far this season.

JaneDoe · « **Reply #43 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:39:49 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 08:34:30 pm

King of the Bare Hand.

There has to be a hair joke in there somewhere.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #44 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:40:07 pm »

Quote from: Mr. Happy on June 15, 2012, 08:38:10 pm

I maintain that is a fool's errand. What you gain in deception is usually lost in command.

No question that it's much harder to maintain a complicated delivery. I know I read something about the windups in Japanese baseball and the reasoning behind them, but I am too pissed off at the Astros and the Rangers right now to think clearly.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #45 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:40:49 pm »

Quote from: JaneDoe on June 15, 2012, 08:39:49 pm

There has to be a hair joke in there somewhere.

Maybe it'll come to you.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #46 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:42:18 pm »

Real nice play there. What an enjoyable inning.

God dammit. Just give the fucking game away. Even when they gift you with a popup on a 3-0 pitch, you fucking give it away.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #47 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:42:50 pm »

Come on. Grand Slam. Put me out of my misery.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #48 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:43:03 pm »

Quote from: Matt on June 15, 2012, 08:38:56 pm

Lyles has gotta learn to pitch through errors. Shit he's had enough chances to so far this season.

Well, fuck. A meek shit popup that drops. PLEASE WELCOME IN Mr. Crooked Number inning.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #49 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:44:11 pm »

Outfuckingstanding. You should be ashamed to play such bush league baseball.

chuck · « **Reply #50 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:45:07 pm »

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lj8mu8b1tq1qfeqsqo1_500.jpg

roadrunner · « **Reply #51 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:45:23 pm »

#1 pick again next year?

JaneDoe · « **Reply #52 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:45:40 pm »

What a freakin nightmare!

Ron Brand · « **Reply #53 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:45:53 pm »

Quote from: roadrunner on June 15, 2012, 08:45:23 pm

#1 pick again next year?

Not while the Cubs are playing.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #54 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:46:18 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 08:40:07 pm

No question that it's much harder to maintain a complicated delivery. I know I read something about the windups in Japanese baseball and the reasoning behind them, but I am too pissed off at the Astros and the Rangers right now to think clearly.

Why are you so agitated tonight? Are you relegated to DoRay tonight?

Ron Brand · « **Reply #55 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:46:41 pm »

Mills should make a statement, like vomiting on the dugout steps.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #56 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:47:28 pm »

Quote from: Mr. Happy on June 15, 2012, 08:46:18 pm

Why are you so agitated tonight? Are you relegated to DoRay tonight?

I really don't have a good reason. I think it just got kicked off with my jackass Ranger coworkers and it's been stewing all day.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #57 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:48:19 pm »

MILLS PUT Lyles out of my misery. His mechanics have been off all night.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #58 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:49:54 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 08:47:28 pm

I really don't have a good reason. I think it just got kicked off with my jackass Ranger coworkers and it's been stewing all day.

Take a page from my old book and drink heavily.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #59 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:50:16 pm »

Abad in to apply tourniquet to severed carotid.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #60 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:51:25 pm »

Quote from: Mr. Happy on June 15, 2012, 08:49:54 pm

Take a page from my old book and drink heavily.

Maybe I'll have a Modelo and see if I get a nod of approval from my kids. Good thing I brought along some hipster fucktard to triple my street cred.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #61 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:53:10 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 08:50:16 pm

Abad in to apply tourniquet to severed carotid.

I like throwing fastballs up and in to lefties. Elevate away, Abad, but just don't make a mistake over the dish.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #62 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:55:39 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 08:51:25 pm

Maybe I'll have a Modelo and see if I get a nod of approval from my kids. Good thing I brought along some hipster fucktard to triple my street cred.

I've missed out on all sorts of new beers since I went on the wagon. But I really don't miss it. And I know that you guys are better off than me blowing in here hammered and making a general nuisance of myself.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #63 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:56:43 pm »

Quote from: Mr. Happy on June 15, 2012, 08:55:39 pm

I've missed out on all sorts of new beers since I went on the wagon. But I really don't miss it. And I know that you guys are better off than me blowing in here hammered and making a general nuisance of myself.

You haven't missed out on anything, Mr. Happy. Keep up the good work.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #64 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:57:00 pm »

Schreefer figures out how to steal 1B for once.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #65 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:57:27 pm »

Remember the hostages! Remember Pearl Harbor!

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #66 on:** June 15, 2012, 08:58:06 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 08:56:43 pm

You haven't missed out on anything, Mr. Happy. Keep up the good work.

Thanks, pal. Fuck you, CB.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #67 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:03:26 pm »

Keep your CJ in, Schafer.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #68 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:03:50 pm »

Tuck your jersey in, Scheefer.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #69 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:04:32 pm »

That is one weird ballpark. It's like a green and white oven.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #70 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:05:16 pm »

Virgil Earp, again for Dodge Ram.

austro · « **Reply #71 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:05:50 pm »

Well, fuck. I'm getting tired of CJ's inability to deal with ordinary ground balls. And then a bunch of bleeders on top of that. Sigh.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #72 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:06:11 pm »

Yu just spun a 69er hook up there. That's a 25 mph differential between his heater and that hook. That's Oswalt-esque.

austro · « **Reply #73 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:06:57 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 09:04:32 pm

That is one weird ballpark. It's like a green and white oven.

I haven't heard whether the hailstorm hit the ballpark the other night. Talk about a target-rich environment, imagine how many cars could get trashed there.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #74 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:07:43 pm »

Quote from: Mr. Happy on June 15, 2012, 09:06:11 pm

Yu just spun a 69er hook up there. That's a 25 mph differential between his heater and that hook. That's Oswalt-esque.

Imagine the gushy gorvelling going on in the Astros radio booth.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #75 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:08:37 pm »

What the fuck, Abad?

Ron Brand · « **Reply #76 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:10:19 pm »

Quote from: austro on June 15, 2012, 09:06:57 pm

I haven't heard whether the hailstorm hit the ballpark the other night. Talk about a target-rich environment, imagine how many cars could get trashed there.

I'm enjoying contemplating this.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #77 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:11:14 pm »

Abad's got no problem keeping the ball letter-high.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #78 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:11:57 pm »

Time for the Altuve unassisted triple play.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #79 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:12:19 pm »

This is a job for...Rhiner Cruz.

austro · « **Reply #80 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:15:44 pm »

So is somebody getting JD tonight? Because I'm stuck with the Rangers' team tonight on KBVO.

Also, confirmation today in the Statesman of what we already knew: the invasion of the body snatchers proceeds apace.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #81 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:16:12 pm »

I've got JD tonight.

austro · « **Reply #82 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:17:02 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 09:16:12 pm

I've got JD tonight.

Where?

Ron Brand · « **Reply #83 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:17:31 pm »

Quote from: austro on June 15, 2012, 09:15:44 pm

Also, confirmation today in the Statesman of what we already knew: the invasion of the body snatchers proceeds apace.

Quote

"We'll have nearly every Rangers game next year," said Ramon Alvarez, the Fox Sports Southwest director of public relations. "Let's face it, there's a lot more interest in the Rangers these days."

I am going on a tri-state kill spree. When you speak of me, speak well.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #84 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:17:46 pm »

Quote from: austro on June 15, 2012, 09:17:02 pm

Where?

Pflugerville.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #85 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:18:17 pm »

Quote from: austro on June 15, 2012, 09:15:44 pm

So is somebody getting JD tonight? Because I'm stuck with the Rangers' team tonight on KBVO.

Also, confirmation today in the Statesman of what we already knew: the invasion of the body snatchers proceeds apace.

FWIW, I've got JD, but I'm in Napa.

Matt · « **Reply #86 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:19:10 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 09:17:31 pm

I am going on a tri-state kill spree. When you speak of me, speak well.

I don't understand the dumbassery going on. 5 teams exist in California with two metropolitan areas hosting two teams each. How fucking hard is it to show both teams?! Oh right, Nolan Ryan.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #87 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:20:28 pm »

Rhiner Cruz stumbles into an out.

austro · « **Reply #88 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:20:43 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 09:17:31 pm

I am going on a tri-state kill spree. When you speak of me, speak well.

I comfort myself in the knowledge that I'll be able to jump all over these fuckers in 10 years when the Rangers suck and the Astros are rolling over everybody. Assuming I'm still alive.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #89 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:21:40 pm »

Quote from: Matt on June 15, 2012, 09:19:10 pm

I don't understand the dumbassery going on. 5 teams exist in California with two metropolitan areas hosting two teams each. How fucking hard is it to show both teams?! Oh right, Nolan Ryan.

Next year the Astros won't be on Fox SW anymore, they'll have their cable deal administered by Comcast. They might have a great deal in my local area, or they might be gone altogether, or they may suck hind tit and we'll get a few SD games on a secondary channel. No way to know yet.

Col. Sphinx Drummond · « **Reply #90 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:23:47 pm »

I've got JD in New Braunfels. Also most Ranger fans I know have shiny skin, greasy hair, grimy nails, and smell of fetid cabbage.

jbm · « **Reply #91 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:24:15 pm »

Quote from: austro on June 15, 2012, 09:15:44 pm

So is somebody getting JD tonight? Because I'm stuck with the Rangers' team tonight on KBVO.

I feel for you. The game is pathetic enough. Direct TV allows me to hear JD announce this crapfest.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #92 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:24:47 pm »

Quote from: Sphinx Drummond on June 15, 2012, 09:23:47 pm

Also most Ranger fans I know have shiny skin, greasy hair, grimy nails, and smell of fetid cabbage.

And that's just the half-Japanese, half-Iranian ones.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #93 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:26:24 pm »

Suck on that one, Darvish.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #94 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:27:14 pm »

Take a long pull on that one while you're at it.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #95 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:27:50 pm »

You tiny-handed freak.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #96 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:29:48 pm »

What could Altuve have been looking for on that pitch?

austro · « **Reply #97 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:31:01 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 09:29:48 pm

What could Altuve have been looking for on that pitch?

I have no fucking idea. That was baffling.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #98 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:31:26 pm »

I fucking hate Dallas, but at least it's part of Texas.

And that'll be the nicest thing you'll ever hear me say about it.

You murdered our President!

Ron Brand · « **Reply #99 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:32:52 pm »

This Viagra commercial is one of the more insulting ones I've seen this year. I guess I'm just too literal for their 'storytelling.'

jbm · « **Reply #100 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:33:03 pm »

Rarely see that type of AB from Altuve.

I usually don't get that mad when the Astros give shit away, which is damn near every night these days, but there is something about doing it against this team that pisses me off.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #101 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:33:32 pm »

Let the hate flow through you...

Ron Brand · « **Reply #102 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:34:48 pm »

Quote from: jbm on June 15, 2012, 09:33:03 pm

I usually don't get that mad when the Astros give shit away, which is damn near every night these days, but there is something about doing it against this team that pisses me off.

Most of it for me is being surrounded by front-running assholes who looooooovvvvve them some Rangers. OoooWEEEEEEEE!

Ron Brand · « **Reply #103 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:36:55 pm »

Yorvit Torrealba has a fairy stance.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #104 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:38:03 pm »

Sit down, fairy.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #105 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:38:27 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 09:34:48 pm

Most of it for me is being surrounded by front-running assholes who looooooovvvvve them some Rangers. OoooWEEEEEEEE!

That about sums it up. Where were those fans years ago?

Ron Brand · « **Reply #106 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:39:02 pm »

Quote from: Mr. Happy on June 15, 2012, 09:38:27 pm

That about sums it up. Where were those fans years ago?

Watching the Cubs and the Braves.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #107 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:41:01 pm »

God damnit. Tommy Hanson couldn't find home plate with a fucking GPS tonight after I reluctantly started him. Braves get a win. I get 5.1 innings that I didn't need and eight lousy points.

austro · « **Reply #108 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:41:31 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 09:34:48 pm

Most of it for me is being surrounded by front-running assholes who looooooovvvvve them some Rangers. OoooWEEEEEEEE!

That is the most frustrating part of this. Two years ago, there were zero Rangers fans around here, and Drayton Fucking McLane could have locked up this market. But he apparently felt it too insignificant to bother with, and Nolan swooped in and swept it up. Well, I resent being treated as an insignificant piece of shit.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #109 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:44:34 pm »

Quote from: austro on June 15, 2012, 09:41:31 pm

That is the most frustrating part of this. Two years ago, there were zero Rangers fans around here, and Drayton Fucking McLane could have locked up this market. But he apparently felt it too insignificant to bother with, and Nolan swooped in and swept it up. Well, I resent being treated as an insignificant piece of shit.

Set 'em straight, Austro. Go fucking postal.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #110 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:44:51 pm »

Yep, that's exactly why we're where we are right now. Front-runner fans gone, longtime fans pissed off and reconsidering, league change - you can lay it all at the feet of Drayton McLane. He had it, and he let it get away from him.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #111 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:46:15 pm »

Austro, there's a seat on my tri-state kill spree getaway car if you want it.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #112 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:46:26 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 09:44:51 pm

Yep, that's exactly why we're where we are right now. Front-runner fans gone, longtime fans pissed off and reconsidering, league change - you can lay it all at the feet of Drayton McLane. He had it, and he let it get away from him.

Have you played like a champion today?

Col. Sphinx Drummond · « **Reply #113 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:47:01 pm »

Seppuku!

Ron Brand · « **Reply #114 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:47:12 pm »

Quote from: Mr. Happy on June 15, 2012, 09:46:26 pm

Have you played like a champion today?

Not me, boss. Not me.

jbm · « **Reply #115 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:48:36 pm »

It's nothing that winning won't cure. I still think the the Astros interest runs deeper. I know far more serious Astros fans in Austin that Rangers fans. Most of them are just lemmings.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #116 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:48:59 pm »

Oh yes, mighty Rangers, you are so much better than we are in every single way. We bow before you and welcome your stark vengeance.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #117 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:49:57 pm »

Quote from: jbm on June 15, 2012, 09:48:36 pm

It's nothing that winning won't cure. I still think the the Astros interest runs deeper. I know far more serious Astros fans in Austin that Rangers fans. Most of them are just lemmings.

True.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #118 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:50:12 pm »

Yu is chunking 95 with late movement. He got my attention tonight. Three more outs to work with and a starter throwing harder now than he did at the beginning of the game. Fuck.

Col. Sphinx Drummond · « **Reply #119 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:50:52 pm »

BONSAI!!! FUCK YU! Hara-Kiri yU kAMIKAZe BASTARD!

Ron Brand · « **Reply #120 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:51:05 pm »

Quote from: Mr. Happy on June 15, 2012, 09:50:12 pm

Yu is chunking 95 with late movement. He got my attention tonight. Three more outs to work with and a starter throwing harder now than he did at the beginning of the game. Fuck.

It's not going to matter though, because he's going to get the Plague from Josh Hamilton.

austro · « **Reply #121 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:51:10 pm »

It's not enough that this place is overrun with fucking Cowboys fans, now we have to deal with Rangers fans too. It's very depressing.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #122 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:51:38 pm »

Quote from: Sphinx Drummond on June 15, 2012, 09:50:52 pm

BONSAI!!! FUCK YU! Hara-Kiri yU kAMIKAZe BASTARD!

That was me about 30 minutes ago.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #123 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:52:15 pm »

Quote from: austro on June 15, 2012, 09:51:10 pm

It's not enough that this place is overrun with fucking Cowboys fans, now we have to deal with Rangers fans too. It's very depressing.

This is one situation where being antisocial actually pays big dividends.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #124 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:53:01 pm »

That home run virtually guarantees that Darvish will start the ninth.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #125 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:53:32 pm »

Quote from: Mr. Happy on June 15, 2012, 09:53:01 pm

That home run virtually guarantees that Darvish will start the ninth.

Good, maybe he'll rupture a tendon.

austro · « **Reply #126 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:54:37 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 09:53:32 pm

Good, maybe he'll rupture a tendon.

Excellent. I've lost my objectivity.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #127 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:55:02 pm »

According to their commercials, Miller Lite is the Official Beer of Douchetards.

jbm · « **Reply #128 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:56:13 pm »

Stupid flag carrying shit in the outfield after a homer. Blue shirts. Red shirts. Inbred jackasses.

I can't muster hatred towards their players, or even Nolan, it's their lame fucking fans.

Col. Sphinx Drummond · « **Reply #129 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:56:41 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 09:53:32 pm

Good, maybe he'll rupture a tendon.

It would be alright if he stuck a knife in his belly. They like that...like sushi.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #130 on:** June 15, 2012, 09:58:36 pm »

Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle.

austro · « **Reply #131 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:00:33 pm »

"Elvis 'muscles' that one out to center field."

No, I'm sorry, that was a total wussy shot off the fists. There was no muscle involved in that.

And by the way, Castro is not a good defensive catcher. Or offensive, for that matter.

Col. Sphinx Drummond · « **Reply #132 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:01:13 pm »

I can't help but think that this Darvish guy would make an excellent suicide bomber. He seems more bred for that than pitching?!?!?!

Ron Brand · « **Reply #133 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:01:33 pm »

The Divine Wind.

austro · « **Reply #134 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:02:18 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 10:01:33 pm

The Divine Wind.

AKA The Big Fart. You're welcome.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #135 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:02:25 pm »

This U-Verse commercial would've been stylish if Wes Anderson had directed it. Instead, she's just a whiny bitch.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #136 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:03:39 pm »

I guess we'll have to settle for Darvish picking up AIDS in the shower and Nathan'll have to go for the ruptured tendon.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #137 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:04:58 pm »

Just drop the bat, stand in front of the plate, shake your head and grin while the pitches bounce off of you.

Col. Sphinx Drummond · « **Reply #138 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:05:30 pm »

Nathan is kind of a hot-dog. Fuck him.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #139 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:06:15 pm »

CJ, Wandy and Paredes to the White Sox for De Aza.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #140 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:06:49 pm »

I'm just spitballing here.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #141 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:08:29 pm »

Suck Satan's cock, Bucknor. Suck it!

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #142 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:09:05 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on June 15, 2012, 10:06:15 pm

CJ, Wandy and Paredes to the White Sox for De Aza.

Get Kenny Williams on the horn...

Col. Sphinx Drummond · « **Reply #143 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:09:17 pm »

It took three years for the Rangers to go from scorn to hatred.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #144 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:10:23 pm »

Somewhere in downtown Dallas, there's two waggling fingers in a glory hole for CB Bucknor.

jbm · « **Reply #145 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:11:16 pm »

Mills should stop taking it and go out there get in that motherfuckers grill.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #146 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:11:28 pm »

Stinks like a field of fresh cow shit.

austro · « **Reply #147 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:11:40 pm »

"That one might have been a tad outside."

Ya think? I'm unsure whether baseball umpiring or NBA refereeing is more corrupt.

Col. Sphinx Drummond · « **Reply #148 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:11:48 pm »

That was some fucked shit, man. Not good.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #149 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:12:03 pm »

Shitfuck.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #150 on:** June 15, 2012, 10:13:04 pm »

It's good that you wished them into the cornfield.