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Author Topic: Change the name  (Read 5651 times)

ferret

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Change the name
« on: November 18, 2011, 08:53:31 am »
The banner on astros.com displays the blasphemous conceit "We are YOUR Astros".  A more insulting pile of bullshit I can not imagine.  Here's what MLB thinks,

"Listen,” (the unnamed MLB) official said on Tuesday, “we understand that Houston has been a National League city for (50) seasons, and there’s some resistance about moving. We also understand there could be some damage (to the franchise), ...
http://blog.chron.com/ultimateastros/2011/11/15/crane-to-receive-70-million-discount-for-astros-switch-to-american-league/

We understand, we just don't care.   Take the team, leave the name.
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subnuclear

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2011, 08:57:18 am »
I endorse 100%. Its not like they have anything to do with space stuff any more.
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MusicMan

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2011, 09:00:15 am »
We are YOUR Houston Lackeys.
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I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

Houston

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2011, 09:06:19 am »
Suggestions:

Houston Buds
Texas Rangers Jr.
Minute Maid Nolans
Houston Wehaveaproblems
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MusicMan

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2011, 09:07:18 am »
Quote from: Houston on November 18, 2011, 09:06:19 am
Suggestions:

Houston Buds
Texas Rangers Jr.
Minute Maid Nolans
Houston Wehaveaproblems

Texas Stepchildren
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I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

Ty in Tampa

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #5 on: November 18, 2011, 09:12:05 am »
Houston Sycophants
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hostros7

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2011, 09:13:15 am »
Houston Catchers
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MusicMan

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2011, 09:15:45 am »
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I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

Limey

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2011, 09:16:27 am »
Quote from: ferret on November 18, 2011, 08:53:31 am
The banner on astros.com displays the blasphemous conceit "We are YOUR Astros".  A more insulting pile of bullshit I can not imagine.  Here's what MLB thinks,

"Listen,” (the unnamed MLB) official said on Tuesday, “we understand that Houston has been a National League city for (50) seasons, and there’s some resistance about moving. We also understand there could be some damage (to the franchise), ...
http://blog.chron.com/ultimateastros/2011/11/15/crane-to-receive-70-million-discount-for-astros-switch-to-american-league/

We understand, we just don't care.   Take the team, leave the name.

First rule of selling is to ensure that all objections are gone prior to closing.  The first thing to do when presented with an objection is to acknowledge or empathise with that objection...
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Limey

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #9 on: November 18, 2011, 09:17:43 am »
Please people.  The name has been here all along:

Bushneck Lackeys

Game over.
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The Spleen

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #10 on: November 18, 2011, 10:08:48 am »
Quote from: hostros7 on November 18, 2011, 09:13:15 am
Houston Catchers

...where it's always the bottom of the ninth.
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Fredia

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #11 on: November 18, 2011, 10:10:21 am »
arlington astros
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JimR

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #12 on: November 18, 2011, 10:20:44 am »
Nolan's Bitch
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strosrays

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #13 on: November 18, 2011, 07:17:13 pm »
Sold American
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remy

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #14 on: November 18, 2011, 08:04:17 pm »
Quote from: The Spleen on November 18, 2011, 10:08:48 am
...where it's always the bottom of the ninth.

Come from behind victories are the only kind we know.
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austro

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #15 on: November 18, 2011, 08:13:21 pm »
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Arky Vaughan

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #16 on: November 18, 2011, 09:51:52 pm »
The American League Fuck You Buds of South Arlington.
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Reuben

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #17 on: November 19, 2011, 12:32:54 am »
Quote from: Houston on November 18, 2011, 09:06:19 am
Suggestions:

Houston Buds
Texas Rangers Jr.
Minute Maid Nolans
Houston Wehaveaproblems
I think these are my favorites. Brilliant.
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D.H.

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #18 on: November 19, 2011, 01:53:47 am »
"ferret" is being serious, and I agree with him. The team is now completely detached from the "Astros" and the name "Astros" should be retired. I think the news media, at least outside Houston, would be forced to cover any organized effort to ask this to happen. The publicity would shine a light on the subterfuge here. The Chronicle is beyond redemption, of course.
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SoonerJim

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #19 on: November 19, 2011, 08:39:54 am »
Quote from: JimR on November 18, 2011, 10:20:44 am
Nolan's Bitch

I Like This One. Fits on a bumper sticker. Succinct and to the point. But Nolan Ryan's excited, and that's what counts.
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geezerdonk

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Change the name
« Reply #20 on: November 19, 2011, 11:47:08 am »
The Houston Humidity.
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strosrays

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #21 on: November 19, 2011, 12:19:29 pm »
Quote
Change the name


Done.
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The Spleen

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #22 on: November 19, 2011, 01:02:48 pm »
Quote from: JimR on November 18, 2011, 10:20:44 am
Nolan's Bitch

The Houston Bitches... with a cute little French poodle as a mascot.

The Houston Slaves... with a... uh, how un-PC do we want to be? as a mascot. I guess we could settle for the South Park character.

The Houston Cattle... with a nice thick, juicy steak as a mascot.
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Reuben

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #23 on: November 19, 2011, 02:07:32 pm »
Quote from: Dark Star on November 19, 2011, 12:19:29 pm

Done.
I love the reinforcement provided by the caption under your avatar.
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SaltyParker

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #24 on: November 19, 2011, 05:53:49 pm »
The Houston Squeal - Ned Beatty as mascot - scoreboard feature where mascot squeals like a pig when opposing team homers
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OregonStrosFan

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #25 on: November 19, 2011, 06:03:19 pm »
Quote from: SaltyParker on November 19, 2011, 05:53:49 pm
The Houston Squeal - Ned Beatty as mascot - scoreboard feature where mascot squeals like a pig when opposing team homers

You ass... In ruminating over all of the doomsday scenarios common occurrences that will result from the Astros moving to the AL West, it had not even occurred to me that I will now have to hear the theme from the Natural 9 games a season (instead of the 3 games previously). That is, until your post...  Please know that I hate you!!!
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Ron Brand

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #26 on: November 20, 2011, 03:52:13 pm »
Houston Junior Rangers
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bubba

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #27 on: November 20, 2011, 07:10:12 pm »
Houston Nutts
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AstroFrog

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #28 on: November 21, 2011, 12:16:06 pm »
Quote from: Houston on November 18, 2011, 09:06:19 am
Houston Wehaveaproblems

Underrated suggestion.
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BUWebguy

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #29 on: November 21, 2011, 04:29:23 pm »
I've wondered about a name change since they moved into the new park. There are an awful lot of "Houston baseball" marks where you'd expect to see "Astros" (on seats, places like that).
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Von Kaiser

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #30 on: November 22, 2011, 11:18:12 pm »
Houston Whores
Logo - A naked Jim Crane bathing in a bathtub full of 70 one million dollar bills while being surrounded by some crying fans holding a National League flag. In the corner of the logo, Bud Selig watches Crane and masturbates.   

Houston Hot Carls
Logo - Our beloved Astrodome positioned directly underneath Bud Selig's squatting ass.

Houston Glory Holes
Logo - Jim Crane on one side, a pleased Bud Selig on the other.
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Gizzmonic

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #31 on: November 23, 2011, 08:19:46 am »
Von Kaiser, is there no depth to your depravity?
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hostros7

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #32 on: November 23, 2011, 08:35:29 am »
Quote from: Gizzmonic on November 23, 2011, 08:19:46 am
Von Kaiser, is there no depth to your depravity?

Seriously, Don Flamenco, maybe I'd expect him to be so scurrilous...but Von Kaiser?  Well, I just thought he'd be above that.
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Ron Brand

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #33 on: November 23, 2011, 08:41:23 am »
"I'll give you a TKO from Tokyo!"
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Ebby Calvin

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #34 on: November 23, 2011, 09:03:14 am »
Quote from: Ron Brand on November 23, 2011, 08:41:23 am
"I'll give you a TKO from Tokyo!"

Dude, that's Piston Honda.  Get your shit straight.
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Ron Brand

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #35 on: November 23, 2011, 09:07:48 am »
Quote from: Ebby Calvin on November 23, 2011, 09:03:14 am
Dude, that's Piston Honda.  Get your shit straight.

God damn. I come in here, recognize the reference, and build on it without being SO FUCKING OBVIOUS, and here you come and just shit all over it. Thanks a lot, Ebby!
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Gizzmonic

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #36 on: November 23, 2011, 09:10:38 am »
Quote from: hostros7 on November 23, 2011, 08:35:29 am
Seriously, Don Flamenco, maybe I'd expect him to be so scurrilous...but Von Kaiser?  Well, I just thought he'd be above that.


They made a new version of that for Wii a couple of years ago.  It's surprisingly fun.  Much more fun than what's been happening to us Astros fans lately.
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Fredia

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Re: Change the name
« Reply #37 on: November 23, 2011, 09:57:19 am »
if the astro sale were a video game it would recieve an x rating for the well...you know glory hole kind of stuff. it would even make it to the soup
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